Page 87 of Behind the Bench

His cousin is here? Unless he broke our promise, she doesn’t know what’s going on with us. The look on Lincoln’s face confirms my suspicions. We both look at each other, panic stricken, before I jump off the stool.

My hands start flailing and I start mouthing unintelligible questions, trying to ask him where I should go.

He walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder to calm my flailing body down before I hurt myself. Silently, hepoints to the stairs that lead up to his bedroom but then stops me by holding up one finger.

“No, no, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting you. I was actually about to head out the door to grab some breakfast.”

My heart still pounds as I wait for Lincoln to finish his call. I can’t quite hear what his cousin is saying on the other end, but his body relaxes as he grabs my hand.

“Just wait in your car and I’ll come out. Give me two minutes to find some shoes and lock up.” He pauses. “Love you too.” He hangs up his phone and pulls my body into his. We’re both nervously laughing as we let go of each other.

“Holy shit, Lincoln. That was too close.” I stay close to the stairs, out of sight from the front windows in his living room, hoping to stay undetected.

Lincoln walks to the front door, slips on his Nikes and rushes over to give me a kiss. “I’m pretty sure I just lost a couple years off my life. Not that I would care if Katie found out. I just don’t know if you’re ready for other people to know about us yet.”

The statement takes me by surprise. Does he want other people to know about us? I don’t have time to dissect that right now, and he needs to get out of here before his cousin walks through the door.

“No, it’s good she doesn’t know yet. You go enjoy time with your cousin, and I’ll call Sadie to come pick me up since she’s borrowing my car. I’ll see you at the rink this afternoon?”

He leans in and gives me another kiss. This time he lingers and holds my mouth to his before giving me two more pecks and pulling back. “Yeah, I’ll see you at the rink.”

Quickly, he rushes out the door, and I sink down onto the wooden stairs that lead up to his room.

The thought of his cousin walking in and seeing me had me ready to hide in the closet. I’m not ashamed to be with Lincoln. I just don’t know if I want the world to know yet. They’ve been pretty cruel to me so far and I’m not sure I’mready for them to burst our bubble. Lord knows everyone will have a lot of nasty things to say, and what if we can’t survive it all?

Negative thoughts flood my brain that have me questioning everything we’re doing. Before I go down that dark road, I sprint up the stairs to find my phone. I need to get out of here and figure out what I want to do next.

Sadie picks up on the second ring.

“I need you. Can you come pick me up from Lincoln’s?”

I rush out my front door, fighting every urge to run back inside to Ellie. The look of uncertainty on her face had me almost telling my cousin to go without me. The last thing I want is for Ellie to second guess everything that’s happening between us. Me rushing out the door, keeping her a secret, and leaving her behind goes against everything inside me.

If I had it my way, the entire world would know Ellie Montgomery is mine. But the world is cruel and I’m following Ellie’s lead. If she wants to wait and keep this thing a secret, then that’s what we’ll do.

Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

The heat is on full blast when I take a seat in my cousin’s car. Wait a damn minute. Did she drive here? Surprise visits are not her thing. I’m immediately on high alert and worried. Even though she’s able to take her work on the road with her, Katie is not a spur-of-the-moment type of person.

My concern overwhelms me, causing me to question her first thing. “What the hell are you doing here, Katie? Is everything okay?” I fasten my seat belt and turn my upper body so Ican look at her.

She puts the car in reverse and begins to slowly back out of my driveway. “It’s good to see you too, cousin.”

Her deflection isn’t enough to make me drop it so I push a little bit. “Katie, you know I love you, and of course I’m happy to see you. This is just a surprise. You don’t usually do surprises.”

I let the questions hang in the air. She knows me well enough to know I’m concerned and want to know what’s going on. I also know her well enough to know that she’s stubborn as hell and won’t tell me something if I push too hard.

The silence lingers between us and Katie starts driving down my street in the direction of the city. Her fingers tap on the steering wheel, even though there’s no music on. “I know downtown is this way, but if you want to actually get something to eat, I’m gonna need you to put the directions in my phone so I know where I’m going.”

Okay, so she’s not going to tell me what’s going on. You’d think as a therapist she’d know the benefit of talking through shit and letting it out, but hiding our feelings seems to run in the family. I grab her phone from her outstretched hand and search for the family-owned pancake house I love just on the outskirts of the city.

Once I plug in the address to her Maps app, I put the phone down in her cupholder and continue staring at the side of her face. I’m hoping to burn a hole in the side of her head, maybe irritate her just enough to get some information out of her. Lord knows if I open my mouth I could anger the beast, so silently staring is my only option.

We’re about six minutes into our drive when she finally gives in. “Ugh, quit staring at me like that! You’re freaking me out! Let me just collect my thoughts a bit, okay?”

The vulnerability in Katie’s voice is something I’m not used to, and it has me shifting in my seat. Giving her the space she requested, I face forward so I’m looking ahead out the windshield. “Of course, Katie. You don’t have to tell meanything you don’t want to. This trip is just very out of character for you, and I’m worried. We can talk when we get there or we can eat in silence. Just know that I’m ready to listen whenever you’re ready to talk.”

Katie nods to her phone in the cupholder. “Put on some music that will cheer me up. And don’t think for one second we’ll be eating in silence. I saw another shadow moving around in your house when I pulled up. I know you weren’t alone in there, andthatis something we most definitely will be talking about.”

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