Page 88 of Behind the Bench

Of course she fucking saw Ellie’s shadow. She’s the most perceptive human being on the planet, which is why she’s so damn good at her job. She can read people better than anyone I know.

It only takes a few minutes to get to Floppy’s Pancake House and less than that to find a parking spot and get seated in a booth. By the time the waitress stops by to write down our orders of peanut butter pancakes and bacon, Katie’s ready to interrogate.

“So, you wanna tell me who you were hiding in your house when I showed up?”

I take a sip of water as I try to decide how I want to handle this. After lying to Ellie about Niko, there’s no way in hell I can break her trust again and tell my cousin about her. Katie would never speak a word of it to anyone—I know that. Hell, I could slide her a dollar and insist on doctor-patient confidentiality, but I don’t want to utter a word to her. I promised Ellie and I refuse to break that promise.

“It’s just something new. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable with a ‘meet the family’ situation, so I thought it was best to give her an out.”

Katie’s eyes scrutinize me as I speak and she tilts her head, trying to figure out if I’m lying to her or not. She brings her hands up under her chin and raises an eyebrow at me. “Someone new who slept over? Last I knew, you didn’t dosleepovers. Last I knew, you didn’t do women at all. What’s it been, a year since you’ve dated?”

A little girl runs by us screaming as her mother chases her. I’m grateful for the distraction so I can break eye contact with Katie, even if it’s just for a moment. I contemplate how I want to play this.

My cousin knows my deepest darkest secrets. She witnessed them firsthand when she found me that morning knocked out cold as a kid. Although I’m a vault when it comes to my feelings, through therapy I’ve learned to be more open with the people who love me.

Apparently it was a mistake to let Katie know I was officially taking myself off the market last year. My dreams of becoming the youngest head coach in the NHL required dedication and discipline. Gone were the all-nighters that consisted of women and alcohol. In its place was a different kind of all-nighter, complete with game tape and research. After a while I didn’t even miss the late nights with random women in my bed. It was never really my thing anyway. I usually just met a woman to scratch an itch. Afterward, I was always left feeling empty, so deciding I was done with that life wasn’t too much of a sacrifice.

“Yeah, it’s been at least a year since I’ve been with a woman.”

Katie looks surprised, even though she knows I made that decision to further my career. “Wow, I know you said you were done dating, but I thought you’d maybe swipe right once in a while. Men having needs and what not.”

This conversation is entering territory I’d rather not discuss with my cousin. I chuckle lightly before trying to change the subject. “Nope. All work and no play. It seemed to work, didn’t it? I got the dream job.”

“And apparently the dream girl? Something must be special about her to change your stance on dating. Don’t shake your head at me, you little liar. You have a goofy grin on yourface right now! The same goofy look you had on your face when I brought her up two minutes ago.”

The waitress returns with our food and we both take a minute to cut up our pancakes. “I don’t know about dream girl, but she’s definitely special.” I’m hoping that’s enough to appease her.

Katie impales a piece of her pancake with her fork and points it at me. “You don’t have to tell me about her, just like I’m not gonna tell you about my shit. But let me say one thing.”

I have my fork halfway to my mouth when I look up to see Katie looking at me. The look she wears reminds me of my aunt. It’s a maternal look that my mother only wore in the beginning. It squeezes my heart and I set my fork down to hear what she has to say.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, Lincoln. The last time I saw you, your shoulders were tense and you had a permanent scowl plastered on your face. I look at you now and you seem lighter, happier. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time you smiled twice in the same day. I don’t know if it’s the job or the girl. But whatever it is, don’t mess it up.”

My head bobs as I pick up my fork and take my first bite of the heavenly pancakes. I smile while I chew, thinking of the mystery woman I want to tell my cousin about so badly.

Katie’s still watching me with a look of pride on her face.

“What?” I ask, before picking up another piece of pancake.

She leans back in the booth again and crosses her arms over her chest. “It’s more than special, isn’t it? You love her.”

The accusation causes me to pause. She voices what I’ve been thinking but it’s not something I’ve ever said out loud before. My response is out of my mouth without a second thought.

“Yeah, I do.”

The biggest smile I’ve ever seen stretches across Katie’s face, and she leans across the table and squeezes my hand. “Have you told her yet?” She lets go of my hand and leans back.

I drop my fork again and wipe my mouth with my napkin before answering her. “Not yet. I think I just realized how I really felt last night. But I’m working on how to tell her. I’m kind of pissed I told you before I told her.”

Katie gives me another smile before picking her fork back up to eat her breakfast. “Well, let’s just pretend you didn’t. And, Lincoln…I can’t wait to meet your mystery woman. I’m glad you’re finally happy.”

Happy. The understatement of the century.

My cousin could easily pester me with questions and go into full therapist mode to get me to spill everything. She’s done it many times before, it’s like a super power. I’m grateful she’s giving me space and respecting my wishes. I want so badly to tell her everything there is to know about Ellie. How I love the way she sings in the shower, so off-key but thinks she’s Adele. Or the way she snorts and cackles whenever she finds something hilarious, not ashamed of being the loudest person in the room.

Since this thing is supposed to be a secret, I have to keep all of that to myself. Besides, the worry churning in my gut over my cousin’s surprise arrival is at the forefront of my mind.

“Now that you know what’s going on with me, are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?”

---