Page 98 of Behind the Bench

Ellie leans into her microphone, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. I watch in awe as she handles herself with both poise and assertiveness.

“Well—I’m sorry, what did you say your name was again?” The reporter goes to answer her, but she continues before he can respond. “It doesn’t really matter what your name is, I won’t remember it after tonight anyway. But to answer your question, I don’t see it as letting my team down at all. We, as a coaching staff, support each other in every situation, even if it isn’t under our job description. Hunter is absolutely brilliant. He spent the night going over film, although it’s not in his job description anymore, and noticed something we didn’t address in practice. I have enough respect and trust in him as a coach that I knew it would be best for the team if he took the lead on this one. And we won. So I’m pretty sure that what I did was the exact opposite of letting my team down.”

Snickers fill the media room as the other reporters shake their heads and laugh at the dumbfounded reporter whostands slack-jawed in the center of the room. If there was a mic to drop, Ellie could totally do that right now. Too bad it's attached to the table.

With pure class and respect, she leans into the microphone one more time. “Thank you for your time.” And then she’s standing and exiting the room like the badass she is.

Hunter and I follow her out of the media room. I hang back a step to allow Hunter to give her a hug and tell her how amazing she was. Someone calls his name and he rushes off, but not before giving her one more high five.

Ellie stands, chin held high, pride written all over her face. For a split second, I wish I didn’t have some big plan to tell her how I feel. I’d like to walk over to her, tell her exactly how proud I am of her and kiss that smile right off her face.

Unfortunately, I’m not looking to get my ass kicked by her tonight, so I choose to be a professional instead. I reach my hand out to shake hers. “That was excellent in there, Coach.” The nickname has her biting her lip, and I do my best to keep a straight face as she shakes my hand.

“Thanks, Lincoln. I appreciate you not trying to rescue me this time too.”

Her sarcasm has me throwing my head back to laugh. I’m about to respond when there’s a tap on my shoulder. I release Ellie’s hand and turn around to see someone from security.

“Sorry to interrupt you, Coach Scott. I have your family waiting for you in one of the conference rooms, but there’s a man at the side entrance claiming to be your father. What would you like me to do?”

My ears start ringing and everything around me starts to go black.

What the fuck did he just say?

I try to wrack my brain, wondering if the words that came out of his mouth are truly what I heard. Did he just say my father is here?

I feel a hand gently squeeze my shoulder and look back tosee horror written all over Ellie’s face. I’m about to grab her hand and walk away when the security guard speaks again.

“Sir? Your father?”

I could run. I could pretend I don’t have a father. I could literally make up any excuse to not see that miserable excuse of a man. But for a reason unknown to me, those aren’t the words that come out of my mouth.

“Show me.”

My feet start absentmindedly following the security guard. I hear Ellie whisper shouting behind me, begging me not to do this. Her footsteps increase in speed and suddenly she’s beside me.

“Lincoln, you don’t have to do this. He’s not worth it.”

I hear what she’s saying, but I’m blinded with a rage that has been dormant for too long. It’s been festering, eating me from the inside out for almost two decades. The nightmares. The panic attacks. They were never Ellie’s fault. They werehis.I have to face my demons or they will continue to haunt me. I have to do this.

Ellie grabs my hands and steps in front of me, blocking my path to the exit. “Lincoln.”

It’s one word, but it holds so much. I take her other hand in mine and meet her gaze. “Ellie, I have to do this. If I don’t do this, my past will control me forever. I need to see him. I need closure.”

It’s very obvious that Ellie doesn’t agree, but she also doesn’t fight me on it. I wouldn’t blame her if she did, but she knows me better than I know myself. She must understand how much I need this. She gives my hands a squeeze and then drops one, holding on tight to the other. Once she’s beside me again, I nod to the security guard and he opens the door.

Standing there outside, with a loose lopsided grin, is my dad. It’s clear to me that alcohol is still his number one priority. He’s put on so much weight I almost don’t recognize him. If I didn’t know he was standing out here, I probably wouldn’thave known it was him. His face is wrinkled, heavy bags hanging under his yellowed eyes. He looks twenty years older than he should.

He stumbles forward a step, and I can feel Ellie tense beside me. It’s obvious he’s under the influence of something right now. Why am I not surprised?

What does surprise me is that I don’t feel anything. No anger. No disgust. No regrets. I feel nothing.

I can’t move. I’m rooted to the spot. The door clicks shut behind us, but I still don’t do or say anything.

My dad throws his hands out to the side. “What, no hug for your old man?”

Ellie’s fingers tighten around my own and I look down to find her eyes on me. She’s not looking at my father, she’s looking at me, sorrow written all over her face. It’s the pity in her eyes that awakens me. The last thing I’ve ever wanted was her pity.

I turn my head to see my father take a step toward me. “What do you want, Neil?”

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