Page 26 of The Love Syllabus

“Are you going to look up, or am I supposed to talk to the ceiling?” I ask, injecting a light tone to mask my annoyance.

He glances up, his eyes briefly meeting mine before returning to the documents spread before him. “How’d the trial run go? It seems you’ve made quite the impression on my girls.” He comments, maintaining a professional distance that feels forced.

“They’re wonderful children, Mr. Grimes. I truly appreciate the opportunity to teach them today. I know I’m inexperienced in nannying, but I hope you can sense that I take my job very seriously. I’m a fast learner, and I’ll do everything needed to ensure I provide the best care and support for your children.” I respond, stepping closer, driven by a desire to bridge the distance he’s trying to enforce.

“Your ‘job,’ huh? Today was merely a trial, Ms. Kind. Nothing more.” He states flatly, his cold tone a cold splash of reality on the warm connection we’d been nurturing.

Slightly wounded by his demeanor, I press. “What do you mean ‘nothing more’? The girls really took to me, and I took to them. I’d really love to work for you. I apologize for pressuring you to open up. I’d never try to pry into your life, and I hope it doesn’t influence your final decision.”

My palms are clammy, and my heart pounds with hope. There’s a bitter taste of irony in this moment—my fate lies in a man’s hands yet again. But this time, it’s not the cruel indifference of my ex-husband but the unreadable expression of Victor Grimes. I hate that my dream of rebuilding my career depends so heavily on someone else’s decision. But deep down, a flicker of hope persists that Victor, the man who has shown glimpses of kindness throughout our brief encounters, won’t turn out to be heartless.

Nevertheless, he chuckles softly, a sound that once would have warmed me but now only feels hollow. “If circumstances were different, I’d gladly keep you on, Ms. Kind, but that’s impossible.”

“And what exactly are our circumstances? All you have to do is hire me to care for your children. That’s it. That’s all you have to do, and that’s all I want.”

“That’sallyou want?” He probes with a hint of something deeper in his voice.

Of course, it’s not. I want to continue what we started the other night, but my desires come secondary to my needs. And Ineedthis job.

“That’s theonlything I want, Mr. Grimes.” I lie because it’s simpler. I lie because admitting the full depth of my feelings is a feat that both of us obviously can’t handle.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then, he pulls out his phone and taps a few buttons. “This can’t work, Ms. Kind. I just sent you your payment for today’s work.” He says, and my phone pings with the notification.

Disappointed but distracted by my phone notifications, my eyes widen in amazement. “$1,500 for a day’s work! That’s insane. I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

“Well, youweretold you’d be paid handsomely.” He responds, his voice tired, resigned.

“But I’d rather be paid a salary to be your daughters’ nanny.”

“That’s not gonna happen, Kerry.” He says, finality in his tone, then turns back to his paperwork, dismissing me.

Frustration ignites within me, and I lean in, reducing the space between us to mere inches, my voice a seething whisper that carries all my pent-up anger and determination. “I won’t let you dismiss me! Not like this. I’m beyond qualified and more than capable of not only teaching but also loving and nurturing your daughters, as I’ve done for every student I’ve cherished over my career! Why won’t you hire me? Why would you tease me with my livelihood only to snatch it away?”

The intensity of my own words doesn’t hit me until I feel the hot tears streaking down my cheeks, landing on the cold surface of his desk. Despite his tough exterior, I know the man I met on Saturday has a heart. I’ve felt it. I’ve seen it. And he proves it as his hand gently caresses my cheek, his touch a soothing contrast to the storm of emotions within me.

He presses his forehead against mine, and we find ourselves engulfed in this shared moment of vulnerability in the quiet of his study. His thumb tenderly traces my tear-stained cheek, and I let my eyes close, surrendering to the moment.

“Everyone in town says my name is so fitting, but life hasn’t always been so kind to me. I’ve endured so much, and I know your family has, too, but maybe that’s why we met, to bring some kindness into one another’s lives.”

His gaze locks onto mine, deep and tumultuous, a mirror to the raw emotions I feel. “You’ve already brought that and so much more, Kerry Kind.”

“Then hire me, please.” I plead.

“What would I be hiring you as, Kerry? As a nanny for my daughters, or as something more?” He asks, his breath warm against my face.

“Both.” I breathe out, lost in the depth of his gaze.

“Fuck,” he swears softly, his lips brushing against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “You smell incredible.”

“You could smell me every day if you hired me.” I reply, desperate to be hired, desperate to get my life back on track.

But he pulls back slightly, his eyes searching mine as he seems to battle against himself. “I can’t mix business with pleasure. I can’t tangle my duties with my desires.” He says, his voice strained. “I’m sorry, Kerry. I know the girls have grown attached in just a day. I watched you care for them, teach them, make them laugh, and even fix up the classroom. Iknowyou’re who they need,” His hand trembles slightly as he reaches out and grabs mine with his fingertips, sending a shiver down my spine. “Just, please give me a day to settle my feelings. I’ll call you with my decision soon.”

He gently kisses the back of my hand, a touch so tender it feels like a promise. Vic then takes a deep breath and rearranges his papers, slipping back into his composed businessman persona, concealing the vulnerability he briefly allowed me to see.

I stand frozen and frustrated because while I understand his struggle between personal grief and professional duties, between being a single father and a single man, his indecision still leaves my future hanging in the balance.

Ms. Tina appears at the doorway, expressing sympathy yet still signaling it’s time for me to leave. I nod, silently gathering the strength to walk away and continue on my path of rebuilding what was lost—no, what was taken from me. I know this is just another rejection, but it’s also another missed opportunity for someone to experience all I have to offer. My dedication to nurturing young minds, my unwavering optimism, and my deep-seated love to care for others is the essence of who I am

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