Page 27 of The Love Syllabus

Soon, and very soon, someone will see that I’m the best at my job. So, to hell with Mr. Grimes and anyone else who can’t see my worth.

Chapter 8

A Damn Fool – Vic

Acollege degree. Six culinary arts certificates. Seven restaurants. Two recipe books. And even a cookware line. Yet, I’m still a damn fool. The biggest one of all.

I made the stupid choice to temper my desire for Kerry by thwarting my daughters’ well-being. I made the foolish decision to push her away in the most disrespectful manner. In the words of my daughters, I ghosted her.

As I sit in my study, reflecting on the laughter that filled my home a week ago. I realize Kerry’s presence is needed. It brought a lightness we had all been missing. And now, this void, this silence—it weighs on me as a constant reminder of what I might have just lost.

I shuffle through new recipe ideas scattered across my desk, but they fail to hold my attention. My creativity has been tapped out for a while. And now, my thoughts are relentlessly drawn back to Kerry. I replay her words, her plea, her frustration, her tears. She wasn’t just asking for a job; she was asking for a chance to rebuild her life, to find purpose again. And what did I do? In a moment, clouded by my fears, I denied her that opportunity. I let my fear of falling for someone dictate my decision.

I’ve spent the last five years mostly at home with my daughters, convincing myself I was all they needed, that they were all I needed. So, I worked from home, constantly locked away in my study, assuring myself that all was well because, although their mother was gone, I was still here. But I’m not. I’m physically present but distant in every way. And Kerry’s split-second existence in our lives tore downmy five-year delusion, revealing a stark reality. I’m lonely, and so are my daughters. We’ve settled into a routine that mimics peace, managing our loss with a resigned calmness. But Kerry’s fleeting time with us illuminated the possibilities of a fuller, richer happiness—a realization that while we’ve learned to cope with our pain, there’s a whole spectrum of joy we’ve yet to explore.

Since last week, the house has felt colder, emptier. My hand constantly hovers over my phone. It should be so easy to call her, admit I made a mistake, say I’m sorry, and tell her we need her here. But fear and caution hold me back.

Every moment around Kerry causes my logic to slip and my desires to deepen, drawing me to her in a way that dangerously blurs the lines between employer and employee. This is why maintaining distance is crucial, yet it feels like an impossible feat. I crave her presence. And I can’t stop thinking about her, which is frightening becausethisis how I felt about the love of my life, my late wife. If these feelings are this strong now, they’ll only deepen if I continue on this path. I can’t allow myself to fall for this woman. Falling in love once brought me the greatest joyandthe deepest pain I’ve ever known. I cannot, and I will not risk experiencing that level of loss again. I refuse to love only to face the devastation of losing it once more.

But I do know one thing for certain, my daughters won’t forgive me if I don’t hire Kerry Kind.

“Uncle Hud, please tell Daddy to call our new teacher and beg her to come back. She was the best teacher we ever had, and he was so mean to her!” Ari complains to my brother Hudson, the face of our family brand.

I would’ve never met Kerry if Hudson hadn’t been out of town, forcing me to attend the damn flower shop opening in his place.

“So, your dad’s being his ole’ stubborn self, huh?” Hudson says, lounging on my great room furniture.

“Hey, feet down,” I sternly advise. “And I’m not being stubborn. I know Ms. Kind’s a great fit, but now’s not a great time. I’ve done a good job homeschooling you girls over the years, haven’t I?”

“No!” Syd yells. “You aren’t that great at math, Dad, but Ms. Kind makes it fun. And I want to make friends, and you aren’t friendly. Ms. Kind says her friends have kids our age. You’re just not cool anymore. At least not as cool as Ms. Kind.”

Ari nods in agreement.

“Whoa,” Hudson laughs, adding fuel to the fire. “Who is this woman?”

“A godsend!” My mother interjects, barging into the conversation. “Ooh, Hud! She’s a beauty, too. She had your big brother here all twisted up, giving her googly eyes. Vic, you need to apologize! Not only do the girls need to get caught up on their studies, but you also missed lunch with the former governor this week after I workedextremelyhard to get you on her busy schedule.

In mock dismay, I sigh. “Oh, crap! I forgot!” Then, leaning back in my chair, I suggest, “Well, Hud’s back. He can go in my place.”

Hudson gives me a wry smile and shakes his head. “Uh, that’s a no, big bro. You’re taking point, remember? You’re the CEO, the patriarch of the fam.” He says in a bitter tone. “I’m sitting this one out. Besides, I’m enjoying scrolling through these pics on the town’s social media page. You’re cheesing hard as hell. You’re a certified country boy now. And you weren’t lying about this Kerry woman. Whew, she’s gorgeous. There’s no way she’d be interested in a mean bastard like you. Think I might have to introduce myself.”

Ari catches my eye with a knowing glance, signaling that it’s time for less mature ears to leave so the grown-ups can talk. “Time to go to our rooms, Syd,” She directs her sister. “We don’t need to hear this.”

The girls slowly shuffle out, and I grab the nearest soft object, a doll, and lob it at Hudson’s head in a moment of frustration.

“Ow! What was that for?” Hudson exclaims, rubbing his head.

“Stay away from Kerry,” I warn him, my voice tense. “She’s not interested in you. Given how badly I treated her, she probably wants to stay far away from anything related to a Grimes.”

Hudson scoffs, dismissive of my anger. “I can’t believe you’re being possessive over a woman you pushed away. Just text her, Vic. The worst she could do is not respond or cuss you out and tell you never to bother her again.”

“Text? You’ve got to be kidding! There’s no way an apology text gets you out of the doghouse that easily.” I reply. “I need to do something big, a grand gesture. Is that really all you do?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Works for me every time.”

“And that’s precisely why you’re still single, Hud,” Mom chimes in, her voice laced with teasing as she enters the room. “Vic, just call her. She really does seem like a sweet and understanding young woman. Just be honest with her. Tell her that despite that perfectly handsome face you inherited from your father, yoursocial skills need a bit of work, and you’re nervous because she’s your first crush in years.”

My mom’s advice is even worse than my brothers causing my frustration to peak. “I’m pushing forty! I don’t have a crush. I’m a grown man.”

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