Page 5 of The Love Syllabus

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I’ve been applying for jobs for months since my layoff, and not once have I gotten a response. Well, that’s not entirely true. Ihavegotten responses but not the kind anyone wants.

“We regret to inform you…”

It’s become the anthem of my inbox. Rejection emails are my new morning alarms. Each one feels like a tiny gut punch, chipping away at the fragile confidence I’m desperately clinging to.

So, when I open my email this morning and see an invitation to interview for the nanny position, I’m beyond surprised.

But that’s not even the craziest part.

I didn’t apply for this job.

I wanted to apply last night, but my heavy eyelids won after the wine, wallowing, and an intense staring contest with Tum Tum (which I lost). The job posting was forgotten—or so I thought.

I read the email three times, squinting like the words might rearrange themselves into something that makes more sense.

Subject: Interview Invitation for Homeschool Position

Dear Kerry,

Despite a few embellishments on your resume, we were extremely impressed with your skill set, career experience, and raving reviews from town residents and former colleagues.

To summarize your email, you’ve agreed to the following:

Responsibilities: Nanny is to provide homeschooling and nurturing services.

Exclusivity: Nanny services must be provided for the employer’s family only.

NDA: Nanny must keep the employer’s identity private and confidential.

Room + Board: Nanny agrees to reside on the estate during the weekday.

Employment Contract: Nanny agrees to a one year employment contract.

Pets: You’re welcome to bring your feline friend.

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