Page 305 of Labor of Love

“I just… I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“I meant what I said, I’m here. Whatever you decide.”

“And the wanting more part?”

Half a smile pulled at his lips. “I meant that too. Now come here.” He leaned back against the couch cushions, bringing me with him by our joined hands. He’d held me enough over the years that it was easy to slot in against his body, my head on his chest and arm around his waist.

Releasing my hand, he wrapped me up with both arms and pressed a kiss into my hair. I breathed in the incredible scent of him and let myself relax for the first time in hours. Maybe we wouldn’t have a baby right now, but I was realizing that Nash and I were past theone last timepart of our relationship. The thought filled me with joy even as a seed of doubt and guilt lodged itself somewhere in my belly.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about it. I could make a decision tomorrow. Tonight, I wanted to rest in the arms of the man who’d always had my back, and if I was being truly honest, my heart.

Nash

The next morning, Micah made his decision. He wasn’t ready for a baby. We made the appointment that day, and a week later, I was driving to Micah’s to pick him up.

The sun was just starting to paint the sky in pinks and oranges when I turned into the parking lot of his apartment complex.

He couldn’t have anything to eat or drink until after the procedure so I’d opted to go without too. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I could have eaten if I’d tried. My stomach had been in knots since the night before.

I respected Micah’s decision—it was his body, after all—but I could admit to myself that I’d hoped for a different outcome.

Sure, I was terrified of becoming a father and definitely hadn’t planned to become one anytime soon… but the thought of a child with Micah? Yeah, I would have figured it out.

The difference was I wouldn’t have to upend my entire life before the baby even got here. Micah wouldn’t be able to be in the field once he declared his pregnancy, and one of us would be moved to a different squad. Which I was happy to do, but with our squad being a man down without Micah, that’s something the brass may or may not agree to.

As soon as I put the truck in park, Micah stepped through the door of his building. His muscular legs were wrapped in black joggers that tapered to cinch at his ankles. He was wearing an old gray S.W.A.T. training tee that may have actually been mine by how tight it was on his shoulders. He’d always had more defined delts than me.

A moment later he was sliding into the passenger seat, gaze down.

“Hey,” I said, keeping my voice as normal as possible.

He let out a breath. “Hey.”

When it seemed that was all he was going to say, I backed out of the parking spot. It was a twenty-minute drive to the clinic, and neither of us said a word the whole way there.

Micah’s scent was all over the place. So much so that I couldn’t get a real read on where his head was. All I knew was there was a sour tang covering the whole of his scent that I’d never smelled before.

I pulled the truck into the clinic’s parking lot and found a space. The engine ticked as it began to cool, but neither one of us moved to get out.

“Micah?”

His knee bounced. I looked over at him, feeling my own eyes well when I saw the tear tracks on his face.

“I don’t think I can do this, Nash.”

“Sweetheart.” I reached over and took his hand. “You don’t have too. I know this wasn’t in either of our plans, but we can do this. We can have this baby.”

Micah hiccuped a laugh, wet and full of relief. “I guess we’re going to have to.” He sucked in a couple hard breaths, obviously trying to calm himself. I could only imagine the horrible knots he’d worked himself into struggling with this decision.

Leaning as far as I could across the center console, I released his hand so I could wrap it around the back of his neck. He leaned toward me easily. Closing my eyes, I rested my forehead against his, keeping my breathing slow and even. Once his had calmed, I opened my eyes to find him already staring back at me. I smiled. “We’re going to be dads.”

A slow smile spread over his face, and he slid his hand over to cover his belly. Cover what would grow into our baby. “Dads.”

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