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“I promise I will take you apart piece by piece in a little bit, but you need to relax, it’s been a long few days. Even Earl is exhausted.”

When I looked at my friend on his back, with this man Iloved? I smiled. Earl was asleep, his belly on display. Since his squishy parts were exposed entirely, he trusted West completely. I knew how he felt. As I cuddled against West, his fingers ran through my hair, and I closed my eyes. It felt nice when he touched me. It was so soothing that my eyes grew heavy.

When I woke up, there was a blanket over my legs, my pants were off, at least ten types of cheesecake were on the coffee table, and my head was on West’s thighs. Blinking a few times, it took me a minute to figure out what was happening. “What?”

“Hey there, gorgeous. Did you have a nice nap? You crashed hard.” He leaned over and kissed me gently.

“What did I do? Shit. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Tyler!?” I stood up, and West followed me.

“I need a minute. Can you give me a minute? A few minutes to think.” The panic descended as I headed toward the sliding door. Earl slipped out with me before I closed it.

West stood there and watched me, clearly dumbfounded. When I looked back up, he hadn’t moved. He stood there perfectly still, like he wasn’t sure what the next move should be, and all I knew was I had probably lost him for good. He needed someone to care for him, not sleep, and make him do things like undress me and buy cheesecake. Those are things I should be doing for him. It was my job, and he deserved it.

“Earl I fucked it all up. I am sorry, buddy, I know you like him.” He eyed some daisies that were growing in the planter next to me. Typical. I wanted to have a serious conversation, and he wanted a snack. For some reason, I thought about Earl and West. I knew Earl had some cheesecake. West wouldn’t deny him anything because he was amazing and cared about my little dragon. I smiled, then snorted, and then started to sob. West had my heart, and losing him was going to destroy me.

After I cried for a while, Earl crawled off my lap and went to the flowers again. “Don’t eat daisies. They will give you a tummy ache.” He flapped, startled, and spit out the daisy, and I looked up.

West was standing there. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I decided to accept the consequences and start the healing process because there was no way I could keep up with everything a man like him might need. It was ridiculous that I tried, so this was it. I was going to tell him everything and say goodbye.

“Do you mind if I join you out here? Thought maybe we should talk.”

Another sob ripped from my chest. He was really going to do it. “Sure.”

He wrapped the blanket he brought with him around me, then sat beside me. “Do you want to tell me what’s been going on today?”

“Nothing.”

West narrowed his eyes at me, not letting me use that as an answer. “I think we will need to do better than that. You’ve been a little on edge, and I don’t understand why you apologized when you woke up.”

I turned my head away from him, unable to answer him, and I couldn’t stop the tears. I was an adult, and here I was, crumbling like a teenager. I was embarrassed by my behavior. He sat quietly beside me and waited for me to answer him.

“Tyler.” He spoke quietly, he let me have my space, but I wasn’t getting off the hook.

Wiping the tears off my cheeks, I took a deep breath. “I thought if I did everything for you perfectly, it would please you enough that you’d not dump me.”

“You, what?” His voice raised, then reached for me and gently grabbed my chin, which forced me to look at him. “Tyler, what are you talking about? I would never expect you to do everything for me.”

I knew I looked terrible as tears streamed down my face, but the time had come, and even though it crushed me, the words needed to come out. Earl was sitting on the grass and looked at me, with daisies in his mouth. I sniffled. “I heard you on the phone.”

“What did you hear?” His voice was level and calm, but there was a bit of an uptick in the tone that made me know he wasn’t happy about the direction this was going.

“You were telling East that you needed to tell me something and that you had to wait for the right time.”

He raised his eyebrow. “Well, you certainly overheard those words. I think I need to know how you interpreted them since we seem to have a situation here. Why don’t you tell me?”

I turned myself to look him in the eye because I needed to tell him everything.

Chapter eighteen

WEST

If I understood what Tyler had just said, he had heard me talking to East about my feelings for him, and instead of assuming something good, he had concluded it was something bad. Before I explained what he had heard, I needed to know how we got here.

He needed my attention, and I wanted him to know it, so I looked him in the eyes while he sat in front of me. His face was tear-stained, and my heart broke for him. There was damage inside of him that I hadn’t known about, but it was time to hear his truth.

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