Page 48 of Approved

Much like approaching a scared animal, I pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes carefully, then reached my hands out to him. After a minute, he gave me the tips of his fingers, and I gripped them because I needed that physical connection.

“It’s a long story.” He looked at me.

“Good thing I have nowhere to be but right here with you.” I hoped that was a comfort to him.

“When I was fifteen, I came out to my parents, and surprisingly, they supported me. Even my siblings had my back and told me that no matter what, they would always love me. It was three months before everything changed.”

As he told his story, I wanted to punch something, or vomit, sometimes it was both. The betrayal he had gone through would have broken many people, yet somehow, he was sunshine and had started to trust me. He had Earl and Larry, who kept him grounded and gave him somewhere to direct that love he had filling his heart, something I started to feel from him over the last month. His sharing love with me was a beautiful gift. It also made clear how important Jamie was, and I knew I had to thank her for being there for him, because he needed her.

“I’m sorry I am broken,” he said after he finished his story an hour later.

Unable to stop myself, I pulled him against me, where he began to sob. “Let it out. I’m safe. I’m sorry you were hurt like that. Tyler, what happened to you was unfair.” My hands ran over his back as I tried to heal fifteen years of damage. The hate I felt for his family was an inferno in my heart. There was a blazing need to wrap him up and keep him in my house for the rest of his life, where he would never be hurt again.

“Tyler, you are not broken,” I said as clearly and sincerely as possible. “You are amazing and wonderful. I don’t want you to think I am being too much, but you are the most amazing man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

“Then why don’t you want me?”

When he said the words, Earl raised his head and looked at me from the grass where he was curled. I swear he narrowed his eyes at me. “Tyler, you hadn’t heard the entire conversation because I had it with him a few days before.” He cocked his head.

“What do you mean?”

“You heard me telling East he was right because I needed to tell you how I felt about you. This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you. Maybe after we made love or first thing in the morning when you were warm, cute, and sleepy, but this is our time.” I took a deep breath. After all this, what if he still didn’t want to be with me because it was too much? It didn’t matter, though he had to know. “Tyler, I am in love with you, maybe it’s quick, but I know it.”

“Wait. What?” I couldn’t decide what the look on his face meant. Was he happy?

Earl apparently got it because he was on my lap and started to rub against my face. “I am in love with you, Tyler.”

He looked at me, confused. “Really?”

I would be annoyed if he hadn’t told me the story about being taken to that camp, but I understood why he was skeptical because of that knowledge. “I’ll try this again.” Even though he still looked confused, I leaned in and kissed him.

“I.” I put my hand behind his head and pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him slower but keeping my tongue to myself.

“Love.” Then I brought him hard against my lips, my tongue dove into the warmth, then sought his where they tangled together, hot and slick.

“You.” We kissed more, and I pulled him tight against me.

His teeth tugged on my lower lip as we made out in his backyard, not exchanging words, but plenty of things were said. When we finally pulled apart, I looked at him and smiled.

“You love me!?”

I was thirty years old and felt like a newborn foal, all legs and uncertainty. “Yeah, I do.”

“Fuck. I got that wrong.” He buried his head in my chest. “I screwed this up.”

I laughed. “Little bit.” My mouth found his again. I could feel the dampness from the grass soaked into my clothes, my ass hadbeen wet for hours, and the temperature had dropped. It was getting cold. “Can we take this inside before we freeze?”

“Yeah.” He smiled sweetly at me.

I reached my hand down to him, pulled him to his feet, never letting go of his hand. When we walked inside, I realized how cold we were. “Let’s shower to get the cold out, then we can talk some more.”

After we showered, we put on warm clothes and had hot tea. Once we were thawed, we sat together on the couch. “I think we need to talk a little more before bed. There is no way I can sleep right now.”

“Yeah.” He said with a closed-mouth smile. Now that I understood more about him, we could figure out a healthy way to deal with his trauma and create a relationship that would work for us.

“Did you want to start?” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to hear, but I hoped he would guide me.

“I’m feeling my feelings right now. Did you have things to say?” I supposed it was time to put on my big boy pants and figure out if there was a future for us.

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