Page 50 of Approved

Both of us moved slowly, clearly exhausted as we climbed between the sheets, he grabbed my waist and pulled me tight against him. He kissed the side of my head, his arm wrapped around my chest, “I love you, Tyler,” he whispered.

“Even after what you read?”

“Yes.”

Before West was out of bed, I called Jamie. “My past has caught up to me, and now I need to work through it with my amazing boyfriend.”

“Uh oh. Are you okay?” She was family to me, and her question brought on tears. “Oh, sweetie, don’t. He’s a good one, it will all work out.”

I was lost for words because I knew she was right. “Yeah. I think it will be fine. He told me he loved me.”

The squeal she made was shockingly loud. “Good God, woman, you will wake him up with that noise.”

“Sorry. I’ll call Ryker and make him come help for the day.” He owes me for fixing his van. The fact that she was amazing with engines and flowers was not lost on me.

“Thank you so much. I’ll try to call tonight and let you know how things go.”

When I turned around, I saw West walking toward me, no shirt or shoes, pajama pants low on his hips. He was ridiculously handsome, with an incredible body, and it was my pleasure to take him a mug of coffee. He wrapped me up in a hug, where I snuggled into his chest. Immediately, I felt safe and loved. There was no awkwardness from last night.

We took our coffee to the living room and sat on the couch. He tucked into a corner, and I settled on the middle cushion, then pulled my knee under me and twisted toward him. “Hi.”

He laughed, then leaned in and kissed me gently. “Good Morning, beautiful.”

Unable to stop myself, I sighed. I knew West hadn’t slept any better than I had. He was restless as he lay with me in his arms. I had used the time to think, and it was time to be brave.

Earl flew over and looked at us like he was starved. West held up his cup of coffee. “This is all I have, buddy.” Earl stuck his nose in the cup, and I could hear him splashing in the liquid. A dragon on caffeine was something to be seen, but once he blew off the energy, he would crash for hours. “Alright enough.” West pulled the mug away.

I had planned everything I would say out in my head, and it was time to start talking. “I left home as soon as I got away from that place, and lived with my aunt until I graduated from high school.” He sat quietly and gave me all the room I needed to getthrough what I had to say. After I talked for a while, he pulled me close to him, and I snuggled against him as I continued to share more details about the horrors I had gone through and answered questions he had.

After a few hours, he went and refilled our coffee cups, opened a can of food for Larry, and gave some meat to Earl. We resumed our conversation and talked for hours. He would hold me when I cried.

“I will keep you safe.” He would whisper against my head, and then we would sit there, not speaking for long periods. The sun had set by the time I felt finished with my story.

“I had wondered what happened to you in our junior year; you had vanished. I’m sorry, Tyler, that you went through that hell.” It was hard for me to swallow; nobody had cared about me so much, but worse yet, nobody had acknowledged what I went through. Now he had done it twice. He wanted me to be happy and healthy mentally, and it was overwhelming in a good way. He held on to me for a long time, and I wondered if he had fallen asleep. Before I got the nerve to ask him, he started to talk again. “I’ve told you how I feel. What about you? What do you want?”

This was the moment where I had to decide to continue to run because I couldn’t trust or go all in and believe in this man. West did nothing but open himself up, had been completely transparent, trusted in me, and believed in us.

“You,” I said it barely above a whisper because somewhere inside of me was that voice that said he would laugh, and send me away.

“Yeah?” Then leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine. “What does that look like, Tyler?”

I was tempted to make a joke and bring up sex, but he deserved better than that. Earl moved over to his shoulder, then looked at me like he was curious about the answer, too. “Me, you, a couple of cats, and a dragon. West, I want to trustsomeone, know they will be there, and be transparent. I want to stop worrying about every person betraying me.”

Grabbing my arm, he pulled me onto his lap. He took a little time to make sure we were comfortable. “I like that idea, but I wasn’t kidding. I think you need to start some serious treatment for PTSD. But I changed my mind about something.” Fuck. He changed his mind, which meant he was leaving now, so I started to scramble off his lap, but this time he was prepared. “Tyler, STOP.”

His voice was loud, but he hadn’t yelled, and I realized he had anticipated my response. His arms were wrapped around me. I struggled, which did me no good, so I finally stopped and looked at him. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say because it would crush me. “Are you done?” He pulled back and looked at me.

“Do I have a choice?”

“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, Tyler,” he said quietly. “I would really like for you to hear what I have to say, though.”

Pursing my lips, I pulled back and looked at him. “Okay.”

“I don’t know why you have to torture me,” I muttered under my breath.

He sighed and shook his head. “You aren’t going to make this an easy relationship, I can tell already. What I would like is for not only you but both of us to go to counseling as a couple. I think I need to learn how to work with you. We should be in this together.”

“Oh.” Well, I felt stupid. He really is in this. “Sorry.” I knew he was right because I had assumed the worst twice because of fear, and I had been wrong both times. I didn’t know how to trust anybody, and I certainly didn’t know how to be in a relationship.

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