Page 14 of Earth-Bound

“So,” he said brightly. “What do you want for dinner?”

“I’ll have whatever.”

I’d learned early on that Randall and Marcia basically fed people whatever they wanted and it was best to let them choose. The one time I’d insisted on picking my own dinner, Randall had given it to me and then come out bearing the most delicious-smelling casserole for another customer and I’d been incredibly envious of the food. I had learned to let him choose for me.

As I sat down and Maud draped herself over my lap instead of my shoulders, I looked around. Something about the place seemed… off.

At last, I asked, “Where’s Laura?”

She was an athletic woman who must do some serious weight training because I’d seen her tussle with Broadmire and win. I still couldn’t work out how anyone her size could have pinned the huge man. Normally, she was behind the counter while Marcia cooked. They were going out and I suspected there would be marriage on the horizon one day soon.

“Laura? She… went away. For a few days.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Back home. To see her Nana. Her family, I mean. They’re… waiting.”

Randall was not doing a very good job of explaining that. A woman visiting her family sounded perfectly reasonable to me. If I had any family, I’d visit them. I don’t know why he made it sound so suspicious.

“Did Marcia go with her?”

“Yes.”

He clenched his lips together, stopping himself from saying more. I couldn’t resist teasing him. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me all about it?”

Luckily, he smiled and gave a rueful little shrug. “Um, something happened and they left suddenly. I can’t really say what happened.”

“No problem. Not my business. You don’t need to tell me.”

It was a bit of a slap in the face, actually. Somehow, without me even realising it, I’d started to think of myself as part of their cosy little family. I’d worked for Randall’s grandmother and, when I’d left, he’d sent me here to his sister instead. I’d started to feel comfortable around them: Randall and Broadmire and Laura and Marcia. I realised now that I’d made a mistake.

I smiled anyway. It wasn’t Randall’s fault I’d mis-read the signs.

“I hope whatever it is gets sorted soon.”

“Yeah, me too. How does risotto sound to you? I’ve found a new recipe I want to try.”

I patted my stomach, careful to avoid the cat. “Sounds great.”

Once I’d eaten, I left. Maud curled up on my empty chair and I walked home across the fields. My home was a little camper van that I’d had for fifteen years. It was small and cramped but it was the only home I’d ever known and it wasn’t as though I had much stuff. I liked the fact that I could just climb into the driver’s seat and hit the road any time I liked. I was never trapped.

It had been my mum who’d had a fear of being trapped in one place. I’d lived in a house when I’d been born and then, when I was three months old, she’d packed the two of us up and left. Always on the move. We’d travelled the entire length of the country by the time I was ten and I’d been in more schools than I could count at the time.

I liked seeing new places. I liked spending time outside. Even now, when perhaps I could have found a little house to rent or a flat in the nearest town, I didn’t. I didn’t want to live inside brick walls, cut off from the earth around me. I liked to lay inmy bed at night and smell the particular blend of night-time on the open fields: it was a mixture of grass and damp earth and animals.

In the summer, I didn’t even bother to close the door. Sometimes, I slept in an old sleeping bag outside my camper van.

I felt like doing that tonight. Something about my day had got me feeling tense and wired. Maybe it was the animals or maybe it was the reminder that I wasn’t really part of Randall’s family, or maybe it was just the fact it was a beautiful night, with a crisp, cool feel to it. Whatever the reason, I wanted to be outside.

I brushed my teeth and dragged my sleeping bag outside with a pillow. I stripped down to my boxers, flinging my boots and discarded clothes through the door to the van and then wriggled my way into the sleeping bag.

I lay there for a long time, looking out across the field towards the distant hill. I could only just see it. The house was a smudge in the darkness and the tree was just a gently waving tangle of branches.

Soon, I realised, Broadmire and Randall would move into that house together. Laura and Marcia would come back to the Honey Pot when whatever emergency had been solved. And I would…

I didn’t know what I’d do. I’d become too complacent. Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten to move on. But I’d been here weeks already, so maybe it was time.

Perhaps when I’d finished with Broadmire’s garden, then I’d go. It would be the perfect time to move on, when everythingwas bursting with life and I’d leave knowing everything was growing and would out-last me, wherever I was.

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