Page 36 of Confessions of Pain

“Definitely. Thanks for taking care of that for me.” I turned to look at Jeremiah and said, “I’m ready, then. When do you want to leave?” I looked toward Ethan’s office, where my pathetic desk had been moved to and added, ‘I’ll need to grab my laptop so we’ll have all my contacts and their numbers. Is that okay?”

“Not necessary,” Titus quipped. “I’ve loaded all the information onto my laptop. We should be good to go, as is.” He smiled at me and there was nothing malevolent about it, like he hadn’t just insulted me and invaded my privacy at the same time. His next words proved even clearer he didn’t respond or react like other people. “Your boyfriend’s really hot. Did I mention that already?”

I bit back a laugh at his audacity. Under other circumstances, Titus would be fun. “Did I mention he wasn’t my boyfriend?”

“That’s right, he isn’t,” Gabe snarled. “Oh, wait, maybe he doesn’t call himself your boyfriend. Is he your…Dom, perhaps?” Gabe’s lips formed an arrogant smirk with his last question.

“Not anymore,” I answered quietly. The silence in the room was deafening.Well, what could I say? Gabe had asked for that one.

After a few uncomfortable minutes, Jeremiah said, “Let’s leave on that note, shall we?” He turned and looked at me. “You can ride with Ethan and me. Titus will ride with Gabe. That sound okay with everybody?”

“No!” Gabe and Ethan answered in unison.

I wasn’t sure if I should laugh out loud or be insulted. I settled for insulted.

“Kelsey will ride with me,” Gabe said with a sneer he didn’t even try to hide. “We have…years and years of missed time to chat about, don’t we, Kels?”

Not really, I thought. I only had one question. Why did he leave without me? He’d promised. Yes, I’d lied. I’d said things that weren’t true—things I knew would hurt him. I had my reasons, though. Reasons he never gave me a chance to explain. He’d just…left.

“No, not really,” I answered. “I’ll ride with Jeremiah.” Turning to the only man in the room who didn’t act like I was an airborne disease, I said, “I’m ready whenever you are, Jeremiah. I can’t wait to see what Titus has planned for the fulfillment of the contract.”

To be honest, Titus didn’t treat me like Ethan and Gabe did. He didn’t treat me likeanything. He was just there, always working. The only time I’d seen any light flash in his eyes was when Jax had careened into him in the hallway.

“Coward,” Gabe whispered in my ear.

“Bully,” I answered without hesitation. In many ways, I was the same boy who had been madly in love with him, willing to do anything to please him, and spending every moment waiting until I got to see him again. In other ways, I was completely different. That boy…that Kelsey…was dead. The biggest part of my soul no longer existed and I’d learn to live with that. It didn’t, however, mean I would stand by and be bulldozed over by Gabe and his hatred.

Hell, who was I fooling? Sure, I would.

Again, like before, I was in love with someone who couldn’t care less about me. I’d thought Gabe loved me as much as I loved him. In my youthful arrogance, I’d thought I was his world, because he’d been mine. Never in my life would I have thought him capable of walking away from me without a second thought. How had he done it, because I hadn’t figured out a way. Had he ever lain in bed at night, wondering where I was or what I was doing? Had he pictured my face? Longed to touch it? Had he imagined hearing my voice in a busy crowd? Had he broken into my house just so he could smell my clothing, hoping and praying just a tiny bit of him had been left behind?

No…that was me. I’d done those things. Gabe, obviously, had never given me another thought…other than hate. It was apparent he had plenty of hate for me.

The pathetic thing was…

I’d take what I could get as long as it meant he was back in my life.

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