Page 11 of Sub Mission

Chapter 4

Baker

What in the hell was I thinking? I’d practically just challenged him to discipline me in front of everyone. On top of that dumb shit, I had this bubble of excitement growing inside of me that threatened to explode at any given moment. I’d spent the past four days convincing myself that I’d imagined my heady response to Seth. No, I hadn’t gotten any sleep and I knew it showed on my face and in my attitude, but every damned time I closed my eyes, I sawhim. His stormy gray eyes would look at me with complete and utter distaste, like they had the moment he’d realized I wasn’t gay, but then they’d turn warm with an entirely different emotion. When he’d praised me during our session, I’d preened like a fucking peacock.

Mistress Samantha praised me. I enjoyed it. Hell, I worked hard for that praise. I knew what she wanted, and I gave it to her. In return, she would say all the right words and whip my ass until I couldn’t think of anything except the pain she was gifting me with. Being with her had always felt so right.

Now, after Seth, it felt…wrong. The club was the first place I’d gone once I returned home. I’d told her what happened—how he’d made me soar straight into subspace. Never once had I been nervous that she would be angry or jealous, and she hadn’t been. As always, she was supportive and allowed me to talk through my concerns. Afterwards, we’d had a scene and I had, for the first time since I was in my first year of training, faked my way through it. It wasn’t the same. She didn’t whip me hard enough or fast enough. Then she whipped me too hard or too fast. She didn’t smell right. Her hair was too long. Her words of praise didn’t make me feel warm all over. She hadn’t called me by my name in that damned sexy voice that haunted my every fucking thought.

It infuriated me, but the way that man said my name made me…melt.

I’d never once in my life been attracted to another man—not one damn time. I hadn’t even had that niggle in the back of my mind, wondering what it would feel like…what the differences would be. My friends had, and they were as straight as me. Yet, I’d never gone in that direction.

Until now.

There was absolutely no denying it, I was attracted to Seth. No, I didn’t want to be, but there was no point in lying to myself. I’d done it for the past four days, almost convinced myself I’d imagined the entire my-cock-gets-hard-every-time-I-think-about-him sensation. Last night, I’d watched some porn and tried to jack off to it. Nope. Nothing. Angry at myself and still fucking confused, I’d switched to gay porn. Nope. Nothing.

Well, not exactlynothing. I’d wondered how in the fuckthatwentthere, without a doctor giving you one of those things they gave pregnant women when she was about to have a baby—the epidural thing. Yeah, it would require one of those. Yet, they’d really looked like they were enjoying it. On the other hand, they were actors. For all I knew, they were thinking about the fact they had to mow the lawn when they got home.

When regular porn and then gay porn didn’t offer me any assistance, I’d gone to the shit pinball bouncing around in my head…and settled on jacking off to images of Seth. I’d come the hardest I’d ever come when my mind remembered his large hands holding that prostate stimulator…when his sexy voice had threatened to dothingsto me with it.

Then I’d gotten mad. I’d went to sleep mad and woke up mad. I’d arrived at the airport mad and gotten even madder when I saw Seth again. He looked even sexier than I remembered. When my eyes had wandered straight down to his crotch area as soon as he’d walked in my direction, my mad had blown off the mad charts.

Then, to top it off, I’d pouted. Did I know who pouted? Girls, that’s who. But, nope, it was me. I was the poutiest pouter in the pout house. I leaned back against the rich leather of the Bentley and smiled. I’d pulled a big save with my brilliant plan to act like my pout was part of the plan. Nice save, Agent Baker Dumbass.

The thing was, I wasn’t gay. No matter how I looked at it, I wasn’t gay. I didn’t have a problem with people being gay. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if I were. Maybe then my feelings would have made sense and I’d know how to deal with them. Since I was straight, I didn’t have a clue what box to shove my desires and fantasies in to.

More importantly, why did I just say ‘was’ straight?

I needed a Xanax.

No, I needed this assignment to beover. I needed to be able to put Seth behind me and leave him there. I banged my head against the headrest.Behind me. Seth. Why did that make a dirty picture pop into my head?

“You okay?” I heard him ask quietly.

“Never better,” I snapped.

I felt him staring at me and I gripped the door handle and held myself in place. I gripped it so tight my fist had to be white from blood loss. If I didn’t hang on, though, I’d lean into him. His stupid sexy scent tickled my nose and I wanted to follow it like the kids had followed the damned breadcrumbs to the witch’s house. I pushed the button to roll the window down. Surely to fuck, that would help.

“Aren’t you pretending to be the naughty sub a little early, Baker? We aren’t even at the club yet.”

“Practicing,” I hissed.

He laughed.

And so, my night began….

******

A bright light tried to filter through my eyelids, but I closed them even tighter, blocking out the intruder because I knew, instinctively, that I was hiding. Whatever was on the other side of my eyelids was something I wanted to keep out. If I stayed where I was, I would remain safe—nothing in my life would have changed. Everything would be normal.

Iwould be normal.

“Shhhh, take your time, Baker. Rest as long as you need to,” a sexy voice whispered in my ear.

I cuddled in closer to the sound and then snuggled against the most amazing warmth. Whatever I was curled against was hot, hard, and smelled delicious. I never wanted to leave the protective circle of arms embracing me. What was that smell? It was familiar, yet….

My eyes popped open at the same time my arms and legs started flailing wildly. “Shit! Let go of me!” I was in Seth’s lap with his arms wrapped around me in a tight enough grip to keep me right where he wanted me. “Rainbow!”

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