Page 33 of In the Lonely Hour

Layla looked over at him briefly before looking out into the darkness. “I give you credit for all of your effort, Carlos.”

“Maybe you do give me credit, but you’re not giving that same energy back.”

“Were you expecting me to? Because I don’t recall telling you I would.”

He chuckled as he cut the car off, not bothering to put it in the garage, and Layla hoped that meant he was about to leave. She’d been doing that a lot—hoping he’d leave or come home late. It was crazy how things changed. At one point, she was sure all she and Dior needed was his presence, attention, and time. Now that they had those things, she realized they meant nothing if they weren’t coming from the right man.

“I assumed with you agreeing to give me a chance to fix things that you would.”

Her leg began to shake, but Layla remained calm. “It’s not that easy for me.”

“Just let me know if I’m wasting my time or not.”

She chuckled with a shake of her head. “Why? So you can leave and find someone else?” When he didn’t reply, Layla opened her door. “I want you to continue to work on your relationship with your daughter. Let’s just focus on that, okay?”

“But I came back for the both of you.”

“Well…” She huffed, tightening her grip on the door. “I’m not available.”

After slamming the door, she headed to the front door of their home. Carlos was on her heels.

“Fuck you mean you’re not available?”

“I don’t want to discuss this in the house.”

As she opened the door, Carlos slammed it from behind her. “Then you need to talk to me here. Now.”

Crossing her arms, Layla turned to face him. “Fine. I don’t want to work on our marriage, Carlos.”

“Now or period?”

Layla thought about it for a while, nibbling on her bottom lip. “Period.” He took a step back, as if the air had been knocked out of him. “You can’t just come back and be consistent for a little over a month and think that’s going to right your wrongs.”

“Let’s not act like I’m the only one who fucked up our marriage.”

“I take full responsibility for everything I did wrong. I forgot your birthday twice because the days were running together. I put our daughter above the both of us so much that for a while I let myself go and stopped caring about our intimacy. There were times where I chose staying home over going out with you… a fucking lot. I spent years regretting that every time you cheated on me. But I’ve forgiven myself for that. If you haven’t, that’s not my problem.”

She tried to open the door again, and this time Carlos let her.

“And I’ve apologized for the cheating, Layla. What more do you want me to do?”

“You didn’t just cheat!” she whispered loudly, quickly turning to face him. “You cheated habitually. You left your family. You proposed to another woman. I’m sorry but I can’t just magically get over that. All the love and respect I had for you diminished every time you disrespected and neglected us after Andres came around.”

“Oh…” He laughed. “Okay. So that’s what this is about. Him. It don’t matter what I do, does it? This is about you wanting him.”

Running her tongue over her teeth, Layla swallowed hard. She nibbled her cheek, battling between sparing his ego and finally confessing to her inner battle over the past month.

“Yes, it is.” She saw the moment his chest deflated. His heart skipped a beat. His shoulders sagged, but she couldn’t stop now. “I’m sorry, Carlos, but you came back too late. It doesn’t matter what you do, I will always resent you because I lost… we lost… Andres because of you.”

A door opened, and Layla prayed it was the aide and not Dior.

“Hey, Ma. Look what I made with Crystal.”

“I’ll be right there to see it. Can you wait for me in your room?”

“Nah. Let’s see if she feels the same way.”

As Carlos headed down the hall, Layla grabbed his arm. “Carlos, please. Don’t bring her into this.”

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