Page 32 of Keeping the Score

“Yeah.”

“You had a baby?”

“Well, not me. But yeah.”

“I didn’t know you even had a girlfriend.”

“I don’t.” I swallow. “It was a one-night stand about a year ago.”

He looks at me. The silence expands. “But you said… a few weeks ago.”

“Right, right. She’s four months old now. But I just found out about her.” I pull air into my lungs. “Her mother had to go to look after her parents after a bad car accident and needed to leave the baby with me. So right now, I have full custody. And I’m not sure how long that’s going to be for. Willa said it could be a couple of months.”

He leans back in his chair. “Okay. Wow. That was a total surprise to you?”

“Yeah.” I tell him a few more details about it, about my failed nanny hire, and that a friend is helping me look after Matilda. “I’ve really been trying not to let it interfere with my game, but Ithought you should know. Being a single dad might, uh, impact my schedule.”

“Jesus.” He rubs his mouth. “Yeah.” He looks across the room, then back at me. Then he asks the same question Andi did. “Are you sure you’re the father?”

“Yeah. She has my eyes.”

Coach continues to regard me enigmatically.

Did that sound hopelessly gullible? Probably. “We also did a DNA test,” I add.

“Family’s important,” he finally says. “We’re here for you. Let us know what we can do to support you.”

He’s not freaking out.

“I just want you to know that I’ve worked really hard to prepare for this season.” I lean forward. “I won’t let this interfere with that. I want to start as many games as I possibly can. I want to win them all.”

“Yeah, it shows,” he replies. “How hard you’ve worked. But Ford… family is a priority.”

“Sure, sure.” I nod vigorously. “But I’m totally committed to being the number one goalie.”

He nods. “Good. Like I said, let us know what we can do to help.”

He’s not freaking out. He’s supporting me.

“Do your teammates know? I assume they do.”

“No. I haven’t told anyone yet. I’ve been trying to adjust to things. I don’t know.” I press my hand to my forehead. “Maybe I thought this was all going to go away before the regular season starts.”

His eyebrows elevate. “Babies don’t just… go away.”

Shit. “That sounded bad, didn’t it? I know that. I just meant… fuck, I don’t know what I meant. This has really rattled me.”

He nods. “Understandable.”

We end the meeting. That didn’t go as badly as I feared. Maybe the guys won’t wild out when they hear.

I head to the players’ lounge where everyone is eating post-practice lunch. They’re lounging around at tables and on leather couches, drinking energy drinks, eating healthy lean proteins and veggies. I stand looking around at everyone for a moment until guys start taking note of me and giving me weird looks.

“S’up, Archie?” our new captain, Benny, calls to me. “Did you miss the chicken shawarma? It was really good.”

I make a face. Damn. I like chicken shawarma.

“No, there’s some left,” Dilly calls. “Here, I’ll make you a bowl.”

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