Page 35 of Keeping the Score

He opens the door and rakes his gaze from my face to my toes and back up. “Oh, hi,” he says smiling. “I was just having dirty thoughts about you.”

I snort. “You’re a father now. You need to behave.” I hold out the little stuffed bear. “This was at my place. Tilly really likes it so I thought I’d drop it off on my way out.”

“Oh.” He takes it. “Okay. Thanks.”

He continues to look me over.

Maybe it’s my top? The snug, black asymmetrical shirt leaves one shoulder bare. My jeans are long and loose and my pointy-toed flats peep out from beneath the hem.

“Okay!” For some reason all my breath has evacuated my lungs. “Bye!” I head to the elevator.

Did he like how I’m dressed? I know he was joking about having dirty thoughts about me, but the way he looked at me… eh. Probably not. But it’s fun to wear sexy, grown-up clothes for a change.

In the lobby I book an Uber and wait for it to arrive to take me to the rooftop bar in Manhattan where I’m meeting Elodie.

I didn’t exactly lie to Ford. I am going on a date. But it’s a date with my best friend. I don’t know why I didn’t mention that. I just got this weird vibe from him. Like he didn’t want me to go on a date.

Does he expect me to spend every minute of my life helping him with Tilly?

I reflect on this in the back seat of the car as we travel into Manhattan. I don’t think he does expect that. He’s been very reasonable about how much he’s asking of me. I can tell he hates it that he needs help. But everyone needs help, sometimes.

We sat down with his schedule and my schedule for the next month. His is a lot more involved. I just have a few meetings scheduled. We figured out when Tilly needs care based on his practices, workouts, and games. There will be travel; they open the season with two games at home, but next weekend they travel to Washington. That’s not overnight, though, just a late night. But the week after that they’ll be gone for three days.

I’m not nervous about looking after Tilly by myself for three days.

I’m terrified.

Deep breath. I can do it.

I wanted to do this for Ford, to pay him back for being there for me. But I have to admit that Tilly is cute and I kind of like seeing her. And seeing a new side of Ford.

The car stops on West 26th Street in front of an elegant hotel. I text Elodie and she replies that she’s in the lobby so I hurry in. I see my friend near the elevators, with her chin-length blond bob and bright red lips. “Hi!”

“I haven’t seen you for so long!”

“You’ve been busy traveling.”

“I know, and you’ve been busy, too.”

“Wait till you hear.”

She gives me a wide-eyed look. “Let’s get a drink.”

We ride up to Nakuru, the rooftop bar on the fiftieth floor. It’s chilly for sitting outside so the glass doors are closed, but we score a table for two right in front of windows with a view of the Empire State Building.

“Wow.” I gaze out. “This city never fails to amaze me.”

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

We order frosés—vodka and rosé wine, frozen to a delicious and potent slush.

“Okay, tell me everything.”

I blow out a breath. “Okay.”

She listens as I talk, mouth falling open, leaning closer, making noises of astonishment. “Holy shit,” she says as I finish.

“I know, right?” I sip my drink.

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