Page 36 of Keeping the Score

“You don’t even like babies.”

“I know.” I wince. “Although Tilly’s pretty cute.”

“I can’t believe that mother just abandoned her child.”

“I know! I feel very judgmental about it. But I’m trying to be fair; things must be pretty bad for her to do that.”

“I guess so.” Elodie drains her drink.

Mine is still full since I’ve been talking so much, but we order two more anyway.

“If you need help, I can come over,” Elodie says. “At least I have two nieces.”

“I might take you up on that. The week after next, Ford will be away for three days.”

“Uhhh… I’m in Seattle that week.”

“Well, shit.” I fake cry. “I don’t know how I’m going to do that.”

“Maybe he’ll find another nanny by then.”

“Maybe.” I’m doubtful. He’s pretty picky.

Three guys walk into the bar and are seated at the table next to us. I give them a quick glance as they’re all tall and wearing nice suits.

Elodie and I catch up on other things—how her job is going, how my business is going, how I’m feeling about Haven being pregnant.

“I was shook,” I admit to her. “When I saw her. It really bothered me.” I shrug. “I guess I’ve accepted it.”

“You’ve accepted that you and Trevor aren’t getting back together?”

I think about that. Ford asked me about that, too. “I guess I have. Too much has happened now to go back.”

“He betrayed you.”

“Yes. He did.”

The guys at the next table are eyeing us. When I catch the eye of one, he smiles.

He’s pretty good-looking—dark blond hair, tawny scruff, and a great smile—but young. Younger than my thirty years, anyway. But I smile back at him.

He lifts his glass in a toast.

“Who are you smiling at?” Elodie starts to turn.

“Don’t look! Those guys over there. One of them just smiled at me.”

“Ahhhhh. Excellent.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not here on a man-hunt. I’m here to have drinks with you.”

“We can do both.”

I do like the excitement of flirting with a man. The anticipation of what could happen. Maybe sex—honest, physical pleasure. It’s been a while and I miss that. So I catch the man’s eye again. And sure enough, a moment later he rises and strolls over to our table.

“Hi, ladies.”

I look up—way up. “Hi.”

---