Page 40 of Keeping the Score

“Be grateful to your friends. Show them you appreciate all the effort that went into this.”

“I do appreciate it.”

“I know you do. And it’s all for this little girl. Right, Tilly? They brought you presents! Aren’t you excited about that?” She takes Tilly’s little arm and waves it. Tilly smiles and makes a noise of agreement. Andi grins. “She can’t wait to see the gifts.”

It’s for Tilly. This is all for Tilly. That calms me down more.

I sit on Andi’s couch, elbows on my knees, and take a few deep breaths. I look over at her. She’s always so… positive. Calm. My breathing eases a bit. “I’m okay.”

“Good. How about I go back with you? I’ll get her into a pretty dress and you can take control of the party.”

I look up at her and catch the twinkle in her eyes. I smile. “I’m an asshole.”

“Did you yell at them to get out?”

“No.” I pause. “I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t. So you’re not an asshole. Right now, anyway.”

I snort, her disclaimer amusing me. “Okay.” I pull air into my lungs and let it out slowly. “Let’s go back before they think I’ve abandoned them.”

Andi carries Tilly, following me down the hall. “I heard the noise from your place. Sounds like they’re having fun.”

“They’rehaving a great time,” I say dryly.

We walk in and a couple of guys look up and see Andi.

“Hey, everyone, this is Andi. My neighbor. Andi, this is… everyone.” I wave a hand.

She smiles. “Hi, guys. I’m just going to borrow this princess for a few minutes. She wasn’t expecting a party.” She disappears into the spare room where I’ve got all Tilly’s things arranged now.

I take in the chaos of food spread out on the kitchen island, drinks on the counter, and a pile of gifts on the coffee table.It’s fine.“How’d you guys do this in such a short time?”

“We have ways.” Benny grins. “We may have had a little help from the WAGs.”

“They gave us some party games to play,” Shawzy adds.

“Jesus.” I shake my head. “Like what?”

“Baby bottle bowling,” Shawzy replies. “Also baby shower charades, where we act out things like painting our nails or folding laundry.” He pauses. “They’re meant for chicks, obviously.”

“Well, if we get bored, we can do that,” I say, meaning,Hell no, we’re not doing that.

“You need a drink, bro.” Crusher hands me a beer. “Here you go.”

I do need this. I lift it to my lips and take a big swallow. “Thanks.” I check out the food offerings and pick up a cracker from the charcuterie board. “Who made this?”

“I bought it,” Benny confesses.

“Looks great.”

“Let’s open the presents,” Smitty says. “You’re supposed to sit in a decorated chair to do that, so we brought this…” He holds up a big pink bow then sticks it onto the top of one of my leather chairs.

I bite back a smile. “You guys are whacked.”

“Yep. Have a seat.” Smitty gestures at the chair.

Andi emerges from the bedroom with Tilly, now wearing a pink ruffled dress and a pink headband with a ridiculously huge bow on it. I stare at her. I didn’t even know she had those things.

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