Page 48 of Keeping the Score

“I know, but you didn’t ask me, you just told me you were going to be late! And I had a meeting scheduled and we had another Zoom adventure. Oh my God.”

Oh, boy. “What happened?” I remember that other time Tilly caused problems in a meeting.

“She was crying because she had a poopy diaper. So I put myself on mute and yelled at her to wait just a few minutes, pleeeeease. But I wasn’t on mute.” She rubs her temples. “And then I did it again when I went to get her and it turned out she had a huge blow out and there was poop everywhere, and everyone heard me going, ‘Oh no, Tilly, you have shat everywhere, what have you done?’ and I think I probably lost that client.”

I roll my lips in because I want to laugh. But I don’t think Andi sees this as funny. Yet. She will. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I was talking to Alfie and he seemed like he needed to talk so I suggested we go get a beer.”

“A beer. I lost a client so you could have a beer.”

My amusement disappears. “It wasn’t just getting a beer. He’s going through hell. He and his wife are having problems because his wife can’t get past what happened. Their baby died.”

I’ve told her about that. She knows it was a tragic accident.

She takes a deep breath.

“He talked about his son,” I continue, a little annoyed. “I think it was good for him.”

She closes her eyes briefly. “I don’t think it’s fair to me that you did that without checking with me first.”

Now I drag a big breath into my lungs and let it out. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I’m just so used to being on my own.”

She nods. “I get that.”

“I could have met up with Alfie later. Maybe.”

Her stiff posture deflates. “Okay. Thanks. I get that it was important to you to talk to him.”

“It was. I just didn’t think.”

“Please don’t take me for granted.”

Shit. I jerk my chin down. “You’re right. Absolutely. I do appreciate what you’re doing for us, and I hope you didn’t lose a client. I’m sorry.”

“I was also worried because you don’t do stuff like that on the spur of the moment. You always stick to your routine.”

“True.” I scrunch up my face and think about that. “I just… did what I thought I needed to do. He seemed really down.”

She tilts her head. “I get it. I’m glad you were there for him.”

“Okay.”

We look at each other for a heavy moment. Then I say, “Did we just have a fight like a married couple?”

A slow smile tugs at her mouth. “I think we did.”

“Yikes.”

“Does that mean we get to have makeup sex now?” I give her a hopeful look.

Our eyes meet.

Uh… whoa. I’ve always made jokes like that around Andi. This time it doesn’t land like it usually does. Because I’m actually thinking about sex with her. And usually she responds with a smart-ass comment and an eye roll. But now… the look in her eyes, her gaze locked on my face, then lowering to my mouth… I know what that means. My body responds.

What if we did it? What if we had sex?

No. That can’t happen. Apart from the baby in my arms, Andi is off limits, obviously. As a friend. A neighbor. And now someone helping me with my daughter.

“Kidding!” I say lightly. “Wow, is it hot in here?” I wipe my brow. “Or is that just you?”

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