Page 49 of Keeping the Score

She laughs, but it sounds a little strangled. The air is still crackling around us.

“Alfie says he wants to meet Tilly.”

Andi clears her throat. “That’s great.”

“Yeah. I think it’s progress. Well. I’ll take this little girl off your hands so you can get work done. Go suck up to that client.”

“Good idea.” She gives me a wry smile. “I cleaned her up and gave her bath so she’s all good now.” She looks at Tilly. “Matilda Grace, you rascal.”

She says it so affectionately my heart expands hard against my sternum.

“Bye, baby,” she adds. “See you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. I have nothing else going on today. “Hey. Let me make you dinner to apologize for being late.”

“Oh. You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to. Come over around six?”

She tilts her head, purses her lips, and I see wheels turning in her head. Then she says, “Okay. Thanks.”

This makes me happy as I leave her place and go home. I need to buy something to make for dinner, though, so first I make a shopping list and then Tilly and I head out again. I put her in her stroller and walk to Trader Joe’s. I don’t mind cooking but all I usually eat is what’s planned by Victor—lots of protein and veggies. I can make something really good for Andi.

I pick up some of the sweetcorn, burrata, and basil ravioli. I’ll serve them with a brown butter and garlic sauce. And a salad. I peruse various options and decide on a Caesar salad. I toss a chunk of fresh parmesan and a loaf of focaccia bread into the basket. Tilly sleeps through my shopping expedition, so I take my time collecting all the other things on my list.

Tilly’s waking up on the way home, so we stop in the park. I stroll along the path and sit on a bench to take Tilly out of the stroller. A couple of young mothers sit across from me with their babies and strollers.

“Hi,” one of them says to me with a smile. “How old is your baby?”

“She’s four months.”

“Aw. What a little sweetie.”

“How about yours?” I ask, making conversation.

“Broderick is six months,” she replies.

The other woman says, “This is Rebecca and she’s just two months old. I also have a two-year-old. We were just talking about baby-led weaning.”

Ha. I know what that is. When Turks and Holly came over to give me baby advice, they told me about that. “I’ve thought about introducing her to some solid foods,” I say. “I think she’s still a bit young.”

“Yeah.” Mom Number One nods. “But you could give her a slice of avocado or a cooked carrot just to give her the taste.”

I chat with the moms for a few minutes. “Does your little guy sleep through the night?” I ask Mom Number One.

“Yeah, he does. He has been since he was about three months old.”

“Wow. That’s great.” I rub my forehead. “I’d give just about anything for a full night of sleep.”

“It’s all about the routine,” she says.

My ears perk up. “Routine?”

“Uh huh. You need an eat, wake, sleep cycle.”

“Tell me more.”

Tilly’s a little fussy when we get home so I do the usual stuff to try to calm her. It seems she just wants to be held, so I tuck her into the baby sling so I can get things done. I try to get her to go to sleep, but she’s not having it.

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