Page 51 of Keeping the Score

Ford joins us, sitting on the couch. “We went shopping at Trader Joe’s. Then we stopped at the park and she went on the swings.”

I blink wide eyes. “Oh, wow. Just like a big girl!”

“She liked it.”

“Did you like it? Yeah?”

She smiles back at me. “Ammagaddagoo.”

“Oh, that does sound fun,” I reply. “Tell me more.”

Ford laughs when she jabbers more baby sounds. He gives her a bottle and we play with her for a while with some of her toys. Then she starts to rub her eyes and lose interest in the toys. “I think she’s ready for another nap,” I say.

“Amazing. Maybe we can eat dinner in peace.”

After we get her into her little cot in Ford’s bedroom, I help Ford in the kitchen. He heats up the sauce he made for the pasta while I grate parmesan cheese for the salad. Then we sit down at his dining table to eat.

“I like your place,” I tell him, looking around. “It’s a little different than mine.”

His décor is light-colored and airy, similar to mine, although his furniture is sleek leather and smooth wood, where I have a comfy sectional with a lot of cushions that you sink into and antique oak pieces I picked up at flea markets over the years when Trevor and I didn’t have much money.

“Yeah. Yours is nice too. I wish I had a balcony like you.”

“It’s small, though. And there’s the rooftop terrace. You use that a lot.”

“I think I’m the only one who does.”

I pick up another piece of ravioli with my fork. “This is so good. Is there corn in here?”

“Yeah. I got it at Trader Joe’s. Don’t think I made it.”

“Well, you made the sauce. And it’s delicious, too.” I pop the pasta into my mouth and enjoy it. “So, do you have a mantra when you meditate?”

“Yep.”

“What is it?”

“Be the shark.”

I blink, then chuckle. “Okay.”

“It was something I read once. You can be the shark and rule the ocean, or you can be a goldfish and wait for fish food in the aquarium. I don’t like waiting. Especially for food,” he jokes.

“Food is definitely important. How did you get so interested in sharks?”

“I don’t know. They’re just interesting. Big, dangerous fish. At the top of the food chain.”

“Hmmm.”

“There are lessons we can learn from them.” He sets down his fork and picks up a piece of focaccia. “Keep swimming. Keep moving forward. Sharks can’t swim backwards,” he explains.

“Right. That’s a good rule. Keep moving forward.”

“Also, don’t let fear hold you back. Some sharks are afraid of dolphins.”

“Oh, I love dolphins! Who could be afraid of them?”

“Right? Great white sharks are supposedly man eaters, but they don’t really like the taste of humans.”

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