Page 71 of Keeping the Score

I lean forward. “That looks good. Want a shrimp?”

She laughs. “Yes, and you can have a piece of steak.”

We make the exchange and then I dig into my linguine. “The other thing that happens is we try to keep her awake after an evening feed and she just wants to go to sleep. I understand why a schedule is important though. After having her for a couple of nights while he was away, it would be great to get her sleeping through the night. Ford has to deal with that every night.” I pout a little in sympathy for him.

“It’s interesting that you’re not annoyed by all this.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Well, I am. A little. But she’s a baby. She can’t help it. We have to help her. And Ford is doing his best. Neither of us knew anything about babies. The good thing is, he’s trying again to find a nanny. Hopefully he can find someone who can meet his high standards.”

Elodie smiles again, looking smug.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Have you heard anything from Haven after that scene at the awards dinner?”

“No! Thank God.”

“It’s kind of sad how jealous she is of you.”

“I don’t get why she’s jealous. She got the man.” I would have said that bitterly at one point, but now it just comes out neutrally.

“Maybe things aren’t that great with them.”

“They’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, but that’s not always a good thing. Trevor didn’t want kids. What if it was an accident?”

“Ohhh. I didn’t think of that.” I tip my head. “Oh, well!”

Elodie grins. “Not your problem.”

“Nope! And my work for Mirabella Cosmetics is going great.”

We’re sliding into a routine that sort of works. Ford gets frustrated when Tilly won’t go to sleep at the exact time he thinks she should, but I’ve talked him through it and even though it’s not perfect, there have been a few nights she slept for eight hours. Progress!

I’ve been doing more research about sleep and milestones and things to do with her when she’s in a wake window (look at me using this parental lingo) and I’ve been having fun playing games and making her smile and laugh. Her laughter is honestly the best thing ever. It totally banishes any stress or grumpiness.

“Watch this!” I say to Ford when he gets home one day. I drag him into the living room where Tilly’s sitting with pillows all around her.

She sees him and gives him a big smile.

“She knows you!” I say. “But this… watch… Tilly!” I call to her.

And she turns her head and looks at me.

“See? She knows her name!”

Ford is grinning hugely, and he crouches down on the floor near her. “Hi, baby girl. You know your name! Do you know who I am?”

“Gada.”

“Close.” He picks her up to give her a cuddle.

“And she’s rolling!”

“Get out of here. Really? Can you roll over?”

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