Page 78 of Keeping the Score

“I do love it.”

“Good.” She squeezes my hand. “I have a poem by Khalil Gibran that I love that I’ll send you about having children.”

Khalil Gibran. That is so Mom.

“Now. Back to Andi. She’s a lovely young woman. So bright! So cheerful and positive. And she loves Tilly.”

“Yeah.”

“And I think she cares a lot about you.”

I don’t reply to that. What’s happening between Andi and me has changed for sure, but I keep telling myself that when it ends, it ends, just like we said.

“I worry she could get hurt,” Mom says softly.

“We agreed what this is.” No commitment, no expectations, no catching feelings. We’ve been sticking to that.

“That’s good. I feel like you two have gotten involved, though. So whatever you agreed to in the beginning might not fit anymore.”

Ugh. I clear my throat and shift in my chair. She’s nailed what I’ve been thinking. Talking to my mom about this is weird. “I understand.”

“Okay. We’re going home this afternoon. We’ve been away for so long, I’ll be happy to get home. But I hope you’ll invite us to come visit and spend time with Tilly again.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen when Willa comes back.”

“I know.” Her forehead creases. “I hate that for you. But we’re here if you need us, for advice, or anything.”

“You need a lawyer,” Dad says gruffly.

“I’ve thought of that,” I admit. “It’s so weird because when she first left Tilly with us, I was so mad, I couldn’t wait to get rid of her. I don’t feel like that anymore.”

“Us.”

I blink at Mom. “What?”

“You said ‘us.’ When Willa first left Tilly with us.” She smiles. “Youarean us. You just haven’t accepted it yet.”

Oh, hell. That’s not true.

Is it?

“I didn’t go to the Halloween party this year because of having Tilly. It’s a big thing. Everyone gets really dressed up.”

“Like what?” Andi grins. “What did you go as last year?”

“I went as Colonel Sanders. And Smitty went as a chicken. Here, I’ll show you.” I swipe my phone to find the pics from last year.

She cracks up. “That’s amazing.”

“Yeah.” I smile. “Anyway, I want to go to the Thanksgiving party. And you should come.”

We don’t get a lot of time off for Thanksgiving, so there’s no time for guys to go home. Usually, a few people host a get-together so we can be with our hockey family for the holiday. This year it’s Ben and Mabel hosting.

“Okay. Sure.” She nods.

I can see she’s hesitant. But everybody knows about us now. Everybody who has access to the internet. Including my parents. I move closer and cup her face in my hands. Looking into her eyes, I murmur, “It’ll be fine.” I kiss her forehead.

I feel her soften. Her eyes close. She nods.

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