Page 85 of Keeping the Score

“But… why?”

“Because I love eating your pussy.”

“Ford! Why are we going on a date?”

He’s obviously using his dirty flirting to keep things light. But I push him.

“Because…” He takes a breath. “I like you. I like being with you, and not just in bed. I like talking to you and laughing with you.”

My heart is now a ball of gooey goo. I swallow. We eye each other for a long moment. I want to analyze the shit out of this so I know what’s happening, but right now I see the warmth in his eyes and the affectionate curve of his mouth, and… I want to go on a date with him. “Okay. I’ll go out with you.”

“Great.”

“Who’s babysitting? Lieve?”

“No. Mabel and Benny.”

“What?”

“She offered, actually. At the party last week, she said we need some alone time. And I thought about it and… she’s right.” He strokes my cheek with his fingertips. I resist the urge to close my eyes and melt into him. “I’m going over there now to drop her off.”

I pull in a slow, steadying breath. I knew people would get the wrong idea about us. But I don’t say it. “That’s so nice of her.”

“Yeah.” He pauses. “It really is. So we’ll be staying overnight. Pack a bag.”

“Ooooh, really?”

“And bring something nice to wear for dinner.”

I look down at my faded, stretched-out shirt and grin. “Okay.”

I zip to my closet after he leaves. I guess I don’t need a new dress, since I have those three I bought with Elodie before the awards dinner. I’ve never even worn the blue one.

But what I’d really like? Some sexy lingerie.

I hold a quick debate with myself about whether I should reschedule a meeting this afternoon to go shopping. That’s not exactly responsible. But what the hell! I’m my own boss, there have to be some benefits to it.

I head into Manhattan. There’s a little place in Chelsea I shopped at years ago called Blush. They had beautiful things. And I can afford to splurge now.

Everything in the city is decorated for Christmas, which makes me realize neither Ford nor I have a Christmas tree and I haven’t done any Christmas shopping, other than the gifts I ordered online and shipped to my parents in Springfield. But first I’m going to take care of myself.

I browse leisurely through the shop, stroking silk and lace, admiring colors, picking up a few items to study them. There’s a whole holiday-themed display with red items. Ford’s favorite color. Yes. It will be red.

I look at a bustier trimmed with white fur. That might be a bit much.

I try on a few things. I end up buying a bias-cut silk slip in a luminous red, edged with French lace, and a matching thong panty. My belly flutters with excitement as I survey my image in the mirror. Will he like it?

Ilike it. So I’m buying it.

And since I’m here, I also purchase a silk robe in a delicate shade of blush pink that Elodie will love.

Out on the sidewalk, snowflakes are falling—soft, lazy ones. I smile and stroll up the street. I pause outside a children’s bookstore, then step inside. I’m overwhelmed by the selection, but a sales associate directs me to the section for infants and toddlers. Kids need books! Tilly needs books.

I could go crazy here, but I limit my purchase to four cute picture books, includingMy First Book of Sharks. I grin. Ford will love reading that to her.

And I should buy something for Ford.

Oh, sure, I’m going to buy the rich hockey player something he can’t buy himself.

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