Page 15 of Only for Love

CHAPTER SIX

Grayson

Virgin. My head drops, and I rub my temples, mumbling something along the lines of I can’t say no to her anymore. Truth is, even I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m trying not to beg, trying not to run, needing to touch her, taste her. But I let her words run through my head. Even if I can’t offer Emma anything that she deserves, I can’t say no. The girl’s had my heart since before I knew it went missing.

“Gray?” she whispers.

I’m unable to give her a response. My mind reels. She wants us. I want us. I picture her naked, pressed against me, and I’m going to fall apart.

And to be her first… That’s enough to make me wish I’d never touched another girl, that we were each other’s firsts. It’s selfish, but even if I’m gone, even if she’s in college, living some incredible life one day, she’ll have to remember me.

I turn the engine over and drive.

“Where we going?”

Some place I can have her alone, look into her eyes, and run my hands all over her. Blood thumps in my chest. “My place.”

“Your place?”

I should expect the shock in her voice. How many years have I known her, and how often has she been over? Never. I think maybe she’s always known that it’s not a good place, that it’s my hell. But Pops has been on a bender for a few days already, and he hasn’t been home. Times like this, he won’t show up for a week, maybe two, and those spells of abandonment are the happiest memories I have.

Until now.

“Yeah.” Turning toward her, I catch her eyes. “You good with that?”

However she wants to take that, I mean it. Is she good with me and her? Is she good with a shitty trailer?

“I’m good as long as I’m with you.” Her fingers tangle with mine as I drive away from school.

God, I love her so much that my heart aches.

We drive down Route 6 and hit the entrance for my place. It’s on a weedy plot, and the metal rust-bucket box isn’t any better inside. But it’s home, and tonight, it’s ours.

Killing the engine, I give her a nod and jump out to grab her door. Emma’s an angel, everything perfect and right and innocent in the world with buttery blonde hair and brown eyes so light they twinkle in the moonlight. She blinks with a nervous hesitation that brings me to my knees.

I take her hand in mine and squeeze, tugging her and that sinful dress beside me. “The place isn’t much to look at. But we’ll be alone.”

“Really?”

The sweetness in her voice cuts straight through me. I’ve fucked, I’ve screwed, but this… this isn’t anything like I’ve gone near before. My heart picks up its pace. My throat tightens, and something powerful bleeds through me.

After we push through the door, I hit a light and bring her down the short hall. Until she’s in my room, in my bed, it won’t feel real.

Emma drops her hand from mine and locks her arm around my waist. We push through my door, and she leans against me so I can hold her close. Short, quick bursts of breaths fall from her lips, and I’m suddenly so hard I hurt. Her hands run up my chest, and the longer she touches me, the more sure she seems.

“This is what you want, baby?” And I pray that she says yes, that she didn’t see the crap trailer and remember that I’m a nobody who hides shitty circumstances well.

“Yes.” She nods. “More than anything.”

That’s all I need. Our lips lock. I find the zipper on the back of her dress and drag it down. It hangs loose, and for as many times as I’ve imagined her naked, I’m barely able to control my hands slipping behind the fabric to touch bare skin.

Her hands freeze on the buttons on my shirt. Where she was soft and hot, she’s gone rigid in my arms.

Hugging her tight, I crush her hands between us. “Ems? You good?”

“I…” She bites her lip nervously. “Don’t know what I’m doing.”

So sweet. God, so sweet. “Yeah, you do. Whatever you want, you do.”

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