Page 17 of Only for Love

“Oh, God,” Emma’s embarrassed cry shreds me, and for a snap of a second, I don’t know what to do. Protect her and kill him. I’m angrier than I can fathom. But what the fuck did I think would happen? Nothing good comes in this trailer. Nothing. Ever.

“First time with this one?” Pops falters after a bad step, and a cigarette tucked behind his ear falls to the floor.

“What the fuck?” I growl. Never do I say a word. Never do I handle my shit with him. I’m stronger, bigger, more of a man than he’ll ever be, but because I ruined his life, I’ve taken his crap, his attacks, the vulgar nature of his existence.

Until now.

He hurt the one person who saves me. I toss my covers over her but stare at him. “Get out!”

He steps closer, cigarette and whiskey stench rolling off of him. He claps off-cadence, chuckling to himself like I’m the night’s entertainment. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Jesus. The pressure in my head nears dangerous levels, but I swallow away my reaction. That doesn’t mean I haven’t come up with a list of what should happen. Maim. Kill. Bury. “Out.”

“You’re all the time eye-fuckin’ my women.” Pops sways in the middle of the room, and I’m on my feet. “Think you’re big man.” He coughs and slurs. “Think you can take from me, and I can’t take from you.”

I snag her dress from the floor and toss it on the bed. “Get dressed, Ems. Take my car. Go. I’ll—”

Pops’ drunken right hook catches me on the back of the head. I didn’t see it coming and don’t feel it now. All I can process is the look of complete disgust on her face.

I turn to the greasy-haired bastard. “Don’t do this now.”

Like the sleaze he is, Pops laughs. “Years, you don’t got shit to say. Get a girl in your bed, you’re a big dick with a motor mouth.”

“Emma, come on. Take my car—” He shoves me. Humiliation curls deep in my gut. I know I deserve his anger but not like this. Not in front of Emma. I spin to him. “Enough!”

He cough-laughs and throws a fist. I dodge it like all the others I could’ve dodged my whole life but didn’t. His drunken eyes go wide. His mouth parts enough to show he didn’t expect to miss. I never move. But tonight I do because Emma’s frozen in place.

Her eyes say everything’s changed, that maybe she’s disappointed or disgusted. Maybe she now knows I live here with him on this side of town for a reason. Whatever’s in her mind, I’m no longer what she knows. Embarrassed fear grips me.

“Emma.” I reach for her, and she jolts back to reality.

“Shit.” She grabs her dress, clutching it to her chest, and tears slide down her cheeks. “Shit, shoot, shit.”

Fiery anger builds in my chest. It’s red, hot, and rabid. I can’t see, can’t breathe, and I growl toward Pops. “Get out. Get the fuck out.”

He rushes me, hands outstretched. Enough. Fuck him. I’m done. As his fists start their drunken descent, I unleash years of fury. A roar blasts from deep within me. My blows strike with scary accuracy. Head shot. Gut shot. Right hook, left hook. Each lands with impact. Vengeance takes over my limbs. I’m not thinking or feeling. Only doing.

I grab him and slam us against the wall, my hands around his neck. One. Two. Three. And he’s done. Out. I let go, and he drops, crumpling on the ground, and I don’t give a shit. A cold sweat’s taken over my body, and my lungs pound. Adrenaline fueled me, but now I’m starved for oxygen, for sanity.

I glance over at my bed. Emma’s tears flow freely. Her bottom lip quivers as she stares at Pops, and then eyes track back to mine.

Fuck me. My hands go clammy. My throat closes up. Adrenaline abates, letting my throbbing head and racing blood slow. Never in my eighteen years have I felt her scrutiny. Never. But now, there it is. Pity. Fright. Confusion.

Unsteadily, she stands, dressing without looking at me. She presses her lips together. “Are you okay?”

I nod, humiliation back, making me angry all over again. This is my life. That is my dad. This is where I live, where I’m trapped. As much as I hide from it at school,this is me. And I can’t escape.

I look down at Pops, still out. Tonight was supposed to be perfect, the best night ever.

“I have to go.” She slides away from me.

My head drops. “I know…”

“This is what happens. Isn’t it, Gray? The football bruises that Ryan never has. The—”

“Don’t.” I shake my head. I can’t let her go there becauseIcan’t go there. “Forget it.” But she deserves as much of the truth as I can stomach. “I’ve never hit him back before.” I rub my temples, still studying the carpet. “Never.”

She gasps the softest, saddest breath. “Really?”

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