Page 22 of Only for Love

Of course he would. Right? He might be avoiding me, but he’s not an asshole.

Gray’s gotta be mature enough to sit in a car and, at the very least, ignore me for a couple of hours. What if I can’t handle the close quarters alone with him? Maybe I should call up Courtney or Melanie and ride with them, just to save everyone an awful few hours. Time is ticking and—

“Emma,” Mom calls from downstairs.

My stomach leaps into my throat. It’s go time. Grayson must be here already. I head that way, stopping on the final step, nerves firing.Please don’t let him leave when he finds out Ryan won’t join us. I’m not sure I could handle such direct avoidance.

“Emma, get down here, hon. Gray’s—” She rounds the corner and steps toward me, her face confused. “Hey, Gray’s here.”

I peek over Mom’s shoulder, and he’s inching toward the door. My world spins just seeing him. He’s beautiful, handsome, so tall and strong. I think the last few months have changed him from a boy to more of a man. He’s just so… Gray.

Knowing his lips had been on mine and why he won’t talk to me makes my soul ache. Down to the very base of my body, I hurt. I miss him. Forget that I love him and that I want to hold him. I need him with a desperation I can’t explain, and I want him to know that what happened with his dad, it’s unacceptable, but it’s not worth losing us over.

“Emma?” Mom gives me a onceover. It’s like she can sense something’s off but can’t put two and two together. Maybe I was wrong about Cherry giving her any gossipy details.

Here goes nothing. “Hey, Gray.”

He turns, and piercing green eyes draw me to him. “Ems.”

The only word I’ve heard from him in weeks and it has to beEms. I’m lightheaded.

“Alright, you two.” Mom gives me a hug. “Have fun. Give me kisses, Emma.”

I kiss her cheek, but my brow drops as I find the courage to tell him he’s stuck with me. “Oh, um. Ryan’s riding out later.”

Grayson’s jaw flexes. “Right. That’s what your mom said.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, his giant shoulders hulking. But his eyes still hold mine. “Okay, let’s go.”

His obvious discomfort around me is painful. I can’t do this. Maybe this was a bad idea, riding with him. “Ya know… I’ll hitch a ride. Or drive myself.”

Mom laughs. “You’re not driving yourself to the beach, Emma. My God. Grayson, her bag is in the mudroom. You two need anything? You’re good on cash? Dad shoved another couple twenties in your bag after he said bye this morning.”

Numbly, I can’t think of an argument that doesn’t make me sound pathetic. I stare at the hardwood floor. Grayson passes me, and I hear him grab my bag. When he walks by, my bag thrown over his shoulder, his soapy scent makes my mouth water and my eyes tear. I want that so bad. I want him. So much. So pathetic.

At my door, he turns. “You need anything else?”

Um… Yeah. You. Back to normal with me. But really, I do need my purse and toiletry bag. “Give me a minute.”

I run upstairs, grab my crap, and text Cherry.

Emma:Things are more complicated. But I’ll survive. Call you later.

She doesn’t ping me back, and there’s no option but to get into Gray’s car. Actually, there are a million options. The truth is, I’m hurting so much, missing him even more, and I refuse to miss a chance to sit next to him, even if it’s in uncomfortable silence, for the next few hours.

“Bye, Mom.”

From somewhere, she shouts back, and then I’m out the door to meet him at his car. Each nervous step feels heavier than the next, and by the time my hand touches the door handle, I’m concerned I’ll puke from nerves. So much for saving the friendship.

“Hey,” he mumbles.

“Hey.” I climb in and trap myself next to him. Delicious insanity. I want to hug him, hold him, kiss him, scream at him, plead for words, beg for a conversation. But I just buckle my seatbelt.

He backs out. It’s a three-hour drive to the beach. When we show up, we won’t be alone. Courtney and Melanie left this morning. Trevor and James arrived last night. Our drive out is my only chance at… what? Everything.

My bravery is pooling again, despite our awkward silence. I bite my lips to keep quiet, but I know it won’t work.

We merge onto the highway. His overwhelming presence fills his car, and when I take in his broad shoulders and strong jaw, it’s more than my broken mind can handle. The thing about being heartbroken is that I’m so ruined that I don’t care if it happens again. I’m blinded by love. Blinded by heartbreak. Just… blind when it comes to him. I can’t see anything past how I feel.

“You okay over there?” His voice interrupts my thoughts.