Page 53 of Only for Love

“How?”

He clears his throat. “That night at Pops’s trailer… couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see. I thought my head was gonna explode. Someone offered me a way out, I took it. That second, it seemed right.”

“It wasn’t.”

“I was stuck… and us, that night on the beach? I thought life couldn’t get any better that night. I took that memory and ran. Didn’t mean I was any less screwed.”

I’m two days shy of twenty-one, and I’ve never been with another man. It’s pathetic, but it’s because of him. Hearing his voice, I’m at a loss for the longing I feel. The deep need to be held, loved… “People said you died.”

He sucks a breath. “No. I’m the only one who made it out alive. Look, I’m sorry. But, Emma, I’m here now.”

My tummy flips, but I don’t know how to takehere now.I need to redirect. “So… how did you get my number?” Does he know about Cally? Surely if someone gave him my cell number, they mentioned his daughter. I want to be the one who shares that. When the time is right. Which isnotnow.

“I called a guy.”

“You called a guy?”

“Yeah.”

“Who?” What, are we in a CIA movie?Called a guy. I rub my forehead. “What kind of guy?”

“Someone who… finds people.”

“You found me? I wasn’t lost.”

“From me you were.”

My insides clench. “Gray…”

“I couldn’t go home and ask folks I used to know for your info. Hell, I don’t want to step foot in that county ever again. So I called my guy. He gave me your number. I didn’t pry. I don’t know what dorm you’re in or if you’re off campus. Or… whatever.”

Oh. My. God. He doesn’t know. He’s not calling about Cally. So why now? “What do you want from me?”

Silence.

“Gray!”

“What?”

“Tell me.” I know I’m pleading, that I sound as crazy as I feel. “Please.”

He takes a long breath. “I should be dead. Every guy in my unit—” Silence. “They died. In front of me. I was shot. Rescued. Transported to the States. Weeks in rehab at Walter Reed. My time’s up and—” He clears his throat. “I can’t go back. They’re gone. And I’m done. Discharged. I’m… just… needing to make things right with you.”

I’ve got nothing to offer. What do I say to that? Tears stream onto my pillow, and I’m not sure why. The explosion of emotion is too intense, and I can’t single out one feeling.

“Ems, look, when we were kids, you saved me from home.”

“Saved you?”

“Yeah. I’d think about you, and I was golden, no matter what was happening to me. But now it’s gone. I can’t close my eyes and see your face, can’t remember your taste. You’re the only thing that saved me, until I was dying and couldn’t—couldn’t find you. In me.”

My lungs ache. I can’t speak. My body is dying for him to hold me. I want my tears wiped. I want his mouth on mine. I’ve never stopped loving him.

“I’ve hardened. I’m… broken. Haunted. But I never stopped needing you.”

Shivers roll through me. “Oh.”

“And I’m back with one mission. You.”

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