Page 55 of Only for Love

I stare at the screen, but she doesn’t message me back.

“Emma, you there?”

“Hey.”

“Listen to me, Ems. You never left my mind. Not the day I left or the day I came back. I’ve thought of you a million times in a million ways.”

“Same,” I admit. He overwhelms my thoughts when I dance. I move for him, sway for him. Every Wednesday, when there might be hundreds of eyes on me, I’m alone with Grayson. “But I’m already vulnerable enough to you. I’m not sure admitting anything puts me in the advantage.”

“No games, baby. I’m past that. We’re talking. Just you and me. You want vulnerable? I’ve killed. Maimed. Mauled. I’ve destroyed and been ruined. I’m lifeless unless it’s about you. Now who the fuck is vulnerable?”

My chest feels tight. The silence around me is overwhelming. I have no creature comforts to rely on. No TV or music for background noise. Nothing. All I have is Grayson’s deep voice in my ear, talking as if it hasn’t been years, and I like it. A lot.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

“This is what I know: your sweet face, your sweet laugh, God, that smile. The way you used to stare at me like I’m the reason you were put on earth. You’re the only thing that can bring me to life.” Noise filters through the phone, sounds like he’s shaking his head. “Nothing held back anymore. You want the truth, and that’s all I have to offer.”

My stomach somersaults. He’s direct and confident.

“I’ve survived off your memory, Ems.”

Swirling in memories, I swallow away my hesitations. “Same. But probably not in the way you think.”

“The night before I was set to go… I meant to explain I’d enlisted. But when we got on the beach… ”

I said I loved him. “Yeah.”

“Best night of my fuckin’ life.”

Tears leak into my pillow. “Mine too.”

We sit in silence. Well, I’m silent. He’s moving around or something. But it’s not awkward. I think about that night together and its implications. Who knows where his head is; I can’t even figure out my own thoughts.

“Best night ever,” he mumbles again, sounding reminiscent. “I’m sure you’ve changed as much as I have. But I lean on that night when nothing else works.”

My heart flutters. I need to get off the phone. I’m falling for this sexy-voiced man and romanticizing him, reliving old memories. It makes my anger hard to hang on to. “Maybe we could talk later, Gray. I’m”—in love—“exhausted.”

“Don’t hang up, Emma. Please. Stay on the line with me.”

I don’t want to as much as I do want to. My chest squeezes, and I hug myself tighter in my covers cocoon. “Why?”

“Said I was fixing us.” His breathy growl makes me dizzy. “It’s always been you.”

I swoon. A shiver runs through me. It’s always been him too. Maybe one day I’ll understand why. I probably need intense therapy. I can’t admit out loud what it means to hear him say that, but I can’t sit around and torture myself. “Good night, Grayson.”

“Don’t hang up on me, Ems.”

Knock, knock, knock.It echoes through the phoneandmy house. I jump, my eyes going wide as I stare toward the wall as though I have x-ray vision. There’s no way…

“Not”—one more knock hits. It’s as hard and strong as the man on the phone—“unless you plan on opening your front door.”

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