Page 77 of The Progressions

“I bought his house so that he would have trackable money, which we’ll be watching,” he answered. “He’ll have to start paying Iva. I got her a lawyer, too, a tough one. Like how you’ll be.”

“I do want to go to law school,” I said. “I decided that I don’t want to quit undergrad.”

“No, I don’t want you to, either. So you’ll go to school, my mom and your dad will take care of baby Balderston…fuck, he needs a name.”

“And where will we live?”

“Together,” he stated firmly. “Iva’s old place will be a little small, but I don’t want to stay in that condo complex. We could live at her house for a while as we look for something bigger. It’ll be the three of us, you, me, and your dad, as long as he wants that.”

“He would, but you don’t want—”

“I want you, Kasia. I don’t love you because of sex, or like a friend. You’re my best friend, but that’s not all. I love you, and I need us together. But not on this bed, because something metal is poking my ass even with the new mattress cover. We’ll live together and we’ll get married sometime, when you want to. If you want to have a baby, I bet your dad would like it. I would. I want to have a family with you, and you don’t have to worry that I’ll be like my own father.”

“I already know that. I already know that I want those things, too.”

“Good,” he sighed, and he sounded extremely relieved. Then there was a short silence. “I wanted to tell you something, too. The reason I don’t like the water is because when I was a little kid, my dad threw me off a dock. I couldn’t swim but he kept yelling at me to jump, jump, jump!” His voice got loud, but then quieted again. “He was tired of me crying and saying no, so he picked me up and tossed me out into the lake.”

“Sweet Jesus! That’s so dangerous!”

“Yeah. I nearly drowned but two older boys who happened to be fishing there pulled me out. My father had thought I needed to learn and he wanted me to toughen up, too. I remember him yelling at all of us, telling them to mind their own businessand telling me that I was a little bitch. I was still coughing and crying, because I’d thought I was going to die.”

“Tyler, you don’t ever have to go in the water, ok? Except for bathing.”

“No, I want to try it next summer, like you said. You’d come, right?”

“Definitely,” I answered. “Absolutely.”

“Yeah, I thought so. That’s why I told you,” he said. “I’ve always been afraid of a whole lot of shit. I don’t look like I should be, but I am. Then I met you, and, uh, this sounds dumb.” He cleared his throat. “I felt like I wanted to jump. I wanted to try something risky because there you were. You were worth it, any risk would have been worth it to have you.”

Falling in love was a big risk. “I’ll jump with you,” I said. “We’re in it together.”

“Are you too tired to kiss me?”

No, and it was wonderful. The first time we’d been together, I’d felt like I was aflame or something, like I was in a frenzy to have him. Now I loved the gentle sweetness of how he touched me, how carefully he stroked my body, how his weight felt as he lay over me, and how we were connected.

“Scream,” he told me, and I did when I came, and then I gasped as I felt him surging into me. We could do that, I thought, and make a baby. Someday, not too far away.

Tyler looked down at me and smiled. “I love you,” he said.

I touched his hair, his cheeks, and his lips. I loved those parts of him but I loved the other parts even more, the ones that weren’t physical. “I love how you drove me home and made dinner,” I said. “I love how you bought a house to help Iva and baby Balderson. She has to name him.”

He nodded and kissed me.

“I love how you set up appointments for my dad, and how you want him to live with us. At least, you’re acting like you don’t mind that we come as a package.”

“I don’t mind it. If that package includes you, then I’m winning.”

“I love that you told me how you were scared,” I said. “I mean, this is really big. Loving people so much could end up…”

“It could end up just perfect,” Tyler said. “You’re the poker player. What do you bet?”

I was all in.

Epilogue

“Iused to be afraid,” Tyler said. “But not anymore. A few years ago, I did something that changed my life.” His smile at the camera had the shining warmth of spring sunbeams, just like the ones that reflected off the pool’s surface. You saw it and you were happy too, so you automatically smiled back, just like I was doing at this moment. I was so proud of him.

“I signed up for swim lessons, and now I’m comfortable in the water. Teach your kids to swim, too,” he urged. He kissed the cheek of the little boy he carried on his left arm, and the head of the baby who rested on his right shoulder. “Let’s keep all of them safe.”

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