Page 84 of Crazy About Love (All About Love)

I quietly chuckle. “No, just me.”

He manages to give me a sleepy laugh, then uses his fists to push himself up and leans against the headboard. “Everything okay?”

The small smile on my lips drifts off into the moonlight.Okay. Everything is alwaysokay. It’s rarelywonderfulorfabulousoramazing,and I know it’s because I’ve held myself back from feeling all of those things. I faked it—faked it hard, even with Eli. And in this moment I know what I want to say:Everything’s okay…and that’s the problem. I want more than okay. I want to dive into a relationship. I want to feel. I want tolove. I want it, and I’m terrified of it. Because I thought I had it, and I lost so much time with you. We could’ve already had it all if I hadn’t forced you to wait for it.

I could say it out loud, but I don’t. My eyes fall to his lips, the lips that told me they loved me so long ago, and I wonder if they still do.

I lean up on my knees, holding my breath as I watch Alec’s own breathing hitch. His eyes remain fixed on mine, his Adam’s apple bobbing when my left leg slides up in between his. The line we’ve drawn between us seems like a distant memory when my hands find the back of his head, fingers tangling in the dirty-blond strands. The comforter pulls under my knees as he fists the fabric. He’s trying to keep his hands off me, and the thrill of having such a strong effect on him lights my entire body on fire.

My breath comes out in a whoosh and my forehead touches his. I close my eyes, feeling them water underneath the lids. Iwanthim. I want to be selfish with him. I want to take him for my own and fall madly, crazily in love with him, more and more every day. I haven’t wanted anything so much in all my life.

“Theresa,” he whispers, his hot breath washing over my skin. “It doesn’t…have to mean anything.”

I blink my eyes open, leaning back a little to watch his face. “What was that?”

“If you’re not ready. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

He keeps his gaze on me, and I let go of his hair, sliding my hands down his chest. Temptation is a funny thing. It’s like it knows what your weaknesses are and plays them to its advantage. Alec has always been my temptation. The forbidden fruit. And his words were the devil’s snake, slithering off his tongue and whispering in my ear. Now they seem like an angel’s voice, telling me that I’ve been very dumb for far too long.

I trace the dark design on his T-shirt, not saying a word. He has no idea how ready I am. This isn’t me fighting with myself anymore, fighting with the notion of love. It’s me giving in to it, embracing it. It’s me hoping I’m not too late for it.

The comforter relaxes under me, and Alec unclenches his fist and brings his hand gently to my face. The pad of his thumb smooths over my cheek, and he gives me a half grin.

“So many thoughts.” His finger taps my temple. “Care to talk about them?”

I shake my head, the ends of my hair tickling the print on his T-shirt. I’ve wanted to cut it short, but I’ve been too afraid to go through with it. Seems to be my thing.

I lean forward, letting our foreheads kiss. His fingers slowly caress the back of my head, fisting my hair, turning me on so much that my skin automatically rises with goose bumps.

“I am so done talking,” I say with a small laugh that I hear him echo. His thumb tumbles from my cheek to my bottom lip, and I resist the urge to take it into my mouth and give it a bite.

“Theresa,” he says, his voice thick and guttural. I imagine myself climaxing just from his voice alone. “Decide what you’re going to do here, please. I don’t know what’s happening, and I kinda want to be in the loop.”

I laugh and he smiles, pulling on the fistful of hair he has in his grasp.

“Am I driving you wild?” I tease, finally taking his thumb into my mouth. He lets out a breathy groan.

“You always drive me wild.” He gulps. “Damn it, either go back to your bed or kiss me.”

“Those are my only options?”

The hand in my hair drops to my shoulder and runs down my arm. I shiver from the sensation.

“I told you,” he says, using that throaty voice, “it doesn’t have to mean anything. But years of self-control aren’t going to last much longer with you sitting on top of me like this.”

Years. I waited years for the wrong person. I could’ve had so much time with Alec,so much time,discovering what real love feels like. I scoot up closer, his leg pressed hard between mine, muddling my thoughts.

“What do you want me to do?”

“It’s not up to me.”

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Kiss me.” His eyes close and he moves his hand to cradle the back of my neck. “Dear God, please kiss me.”

I close the distance that’s been keeping me from falling in love. My mouth touches his soft and ready and willing and waiting mouth, and the world tilts on its axis. I feel my heart reach out and cling to his, tethering us and tying us together. His tongue probes mine, dancing in a sensual rhythm, pulling our heartstrings so tight that if I was to ever be apart from him, it would destroy me. Far worse than when Eli hacked away at those very same strings for years until they broke and shriveled. It terrifies me, but in the most wonderful way possible. To even have so much to lose makes me want to cling to it, love it, appreciate it all that much more.

I set my hands on top of his shoulders, using them as leverage as I adjust. Though I’m loving the sensation of his hard, toned leg pressing between mine, I’m not close enough. I want to be able to sink into him, press our belly buttons together, feel my heart beating against his. He palms my hips, assisting me in my quest to close the gaps between us. I yank on the side of the comforter, and he kicks it out of the way, our lips grazing and bumping into each other. He tastes like cinnamon from his toothpaste. It sets my mouth on fire, making my entire body flush.

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