Page 90 of Doing It for Love

My eyebrows pull in. “There’s a right side up?”

She nods, running the blade across the moist turkey. “This is all dark meat, see? The turkey goes in breast up.”

And that moment is the first I ever drop the big curse bomb in front of my mother.

“Elizabeth Ann,” she scolds, whacking me with an oven mitt.

“I’m sorry.” I’m not sorry. “But mother-in-law from hell is going to say something about this!”

Mom nods, stabbing the turkey in the center and flopping it around. And in her lovely haste to save me from insults, she splashes us both with blazing-hot turkey juice.

And that moment is the second I ever drop the big curse bomb in front of my mother. It’s a lot louder this time.

Landon and Dad rush to the kitchen while Mom and I scream and turn on the cold water in the sink. We strip out of our aprons and fight over who gets more water, jabbing our arms under the stream.

“Get the toothpaste, Paul,” Mom babbles at my dad. He turns back around the corner, and Landon reaches for my shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“We have to get it off you.”

“My dad’s coming back in!”

Landon pulls his shirt off, grabs mine, and swaps them out so fast Mom doesn’t even have a chance to see what kind of bra I’m wearing.

She does get a nice view of Landon’s bare chest, though. We’re all officially family now.

Dad sidles past Landon, double-taking the half-nudity, and hands Mom the toothpaste. She twists the cap off, grabs my arm, and goops me up.

“What…”

“It helps the burn,” she says, but she doesn’t have to. I can already feel it starting to work. Landon runs out and comes back seconds later with another tube and a shirt for himself. He gets to work on the rest of my burned skin while Dad covers Mom.

“Is everything okay in there?” comes the overly joyful voice of Satan.

I look up at Landon, neck burning not only from the juice.

“We’re fine!” he says, then rubs Aquafresh across my collarbone. I hiss in a breath.

“My nose is fine, Paul.” Mom giggles, swatting Dad on the shoulder as he attempts to spread toothpaste across her face. I gaze over Landon’s shoulder at them, and as they tease each other, I see no peas and carrots. I don’t see dessert, either. I kind of see…well, everything.

“Feel better?” Landon asks, capping the tube.

“How do I look?”

“Like something out ofThe Walking Stiff.” He sets the toothpaste on the counter. “But you smell good.”

“What happened?” Dad asks, eyeing the mess on the stove.

“Mom decided to shower us with turkey juice.”

She gasps. “Don’t you blame this all on me!”

Dad tickles her hip, and I grin like a big buffoon because they’ve been together for over twenty-five years and they are still doing things like that.

“Okay, I’ll carve.”

He takes the knife, and Landon says he’ll set the table while Mom and I sit with the Wangfords. I sort of want to take my chances with the turkey.

---