Page 50 of No Interest in Love

“ ‘When’s the baby due?’ ”

Lightly chuckling, I let her take the win on this one. I turn more on my side, closing up the space between us unintentionally. She’s on her side now too, and I’m talking to her toes, which I almost reach out and grab just for the hell of it.

“You know what?” she says thoughtfully, her warm breath touching my shins. “I think I’m your first too.”

“What are you on about?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever actually slept with a woman.”

“Hey, even if it was a one-night stand, I know how to cuddle.”

She lets out a small laugh. “I mean slept withoutsleepingwith her.”

“You’re 180 years old. You can say the word ‘sex.’ ”

“Sex,” she says, but even in the dark I can see her face lighting up like a traffic light.

“Well, you’d be wrong,” I answer. “You’re number two.”

“Was it Liz or Theresa?” she asks with an air of arrogance, picking my only platonic female relationships.

“Uh, Landon and Alec would both kill me if it was either of them.” I shift, a little bit of discomfort prickling up the back of my neck. “You don’t know her.”

And I almost let it all out. But Penny stays on the back of my tongue and a sarcastic comment leapfrogs over it.

“If you really want to be one of my firsts, I’ll try to think of something.”

Shay shoves my leg, getting real close to the Smurfs. “I’ll gladly be the first girl to kick you out of bed.”

“You’d be the second with that one too.”

“Did you open your mouth during sex and she was completely turned off?” Shay jokes. But something dips in my gut, and I can’t stop it this time.

“She said she loved me,” I blurt. Shay’s silent laughter stops bumping against me. “Yeah…I didn’t…So she gave me the boot.”

She’s quiet. I rack my brain for some joke to lighten things up, but it’s after two in the morning, and any decision I make now is probably just gonna dig me in further.

“Well, you do want to be Barney,” she says. I can’t tell if she’s upset or joking.

“Why do the commitment thing?” I ask quietly to her feet.

“Is the player thing working for you?”

Well, shoot. I grab the flat pillow under my head and toss it in her direction.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she says with a light laugh, throwing it back.

“It’s better than getting in too deep with a girl who’s just gonna end up not meaning that much.”

“What makes you think she won’t mean anything?” she asks, as if my admission wasn’t a complete jackass thing to say.

I shrug, resting my hands behind my head again. “I’ve tried feeling something for the girls I’ve been with. I tried falling in love, tried to picture a future, and I just…can’t. And it’s not the girl’s problem, it’s mine. And after…her…I don’t want to try to do that love stuff only to hurt someone. So I’m not jumping in unless the girl is after the same thing I am.”

“To get laid.”

“Yep.”

“So someone like Carletta?”

---