Page 55 of No Interest in Love

Silence greets me instead of a witty comeback. I rip my gaze from the deserted platform to Shay and then suck in a breath.

“Whoa…are you ok—”

“I’m fine,” she says. But she’s not. She pinches the bridge of her nose, slamming her eyelids shut. She lands on her butt, wrapping one arm around her knees. Her voice sounds wet, and her back shakes and shakes and my chest starts to tighten around my suddenly thumping heart.

“Are you crying?” I ask, mostly out of shock. Shay doesn’t handle stress with tears. She handles it with anger, humor, and occasional abuse. Aside from the almost-cry in the car the other day, I’ve never seen her lose it like this.

“No,” she says.

But she is.

(Sort of.)

She blinks up to the sky, like titling her head back will force her tears to waterfall behind her eyes instead of out of them. Her voice has a slight croak to it when she says, “Jace…?”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to use the F-word.”

I raise an eyebrow, and when I don’t say anything she lets her gaze drift to me.

“Failure.” She shakes her head. “I. Am. A. Failure. I can get something about ninety percent of the way finished…and then…” Her lips rumble as she makes a horrible sound effect of something exploding…or shitting…I’m not sure.

“Hey,” I say, taking a step closer to her, “we still got time.”

“We’re inMissouri. The train is out, and unless I sprout wings from my spine, we aren’t flying either.”

“We’ll think of something. Two days ago we were stranded on the side of the road in California.” I try to grin, but I can tell already it won’t cheer her up. “Now we’re here.”

She rolls her eyes up to mine. “Okay, say I do get you there. I’ll still lose something.”

I jerk back. “What?”

Her bottom lip quivers a tiny bit, like she didn’t mean to blurt it out. Then she sighs and says, “You don’t need me, Jace. And when you get this job, I’m afraid you’re going to figure that out.”

“Uh, come again?” My brow furrows, and I can feel something stirring up under my skin. It pushes at my heart and sends messages to my lungs to put a pause on the breathing for a minute. Is she saying that she’ll loseme? And why do I suddenly hope thatiswhat she’s saying?

“I’m a shit agent. What in the world have I done for you?”

“You got me an exclusive screen test for a giant movie. I’d say that’s pretty badass.”

“And look how well that’s turned out.” She waves her hand at the darkened station behind her. “And I didn’t get the audition…You did.”

“Pretty sure I knew nothing of it.”

“You don’tneedme. Your acting speaks for itself.”

“But someone has to send in the tape.”

“Any good agent would’ve done that once they heard the news. I’m sure I’m not the only one who did.” She shakes her head at her knees, and I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s going on because normally we fight with sarcastic insults, not compliments. I don’t know how to handle them. But she’s crazy to think that I don’t need her.

And that thought kicks me unexpectedly in the ribs.

“You’re a brilliant actor, Jace,” she all but whispers at her feet. “And you may talk big, but I honestly know that ifyouknew how good you really are, you wouldn’t waste your time with a failure like me.”

I blink at her, rub the back of my neck, and ease toward her. I’m not good in situations like this. I don’t know how to respond except with a sarcastic comment.

“Is this how you get when you’re hungry?” I blurt stupidly, but I get the tiniest of laughs out of her.

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