Page 30 of Pillowtalk

Kennedy

The twittering sound of birds just outside Aaron’s house roused Kennedy from a restless sleep. She hadn’t gotten much shut-eye, having drifted off at some point in the night, still tucked up in Aaron’s strong and comforting arms, but she woke after what felt like every few minutes from the crushing ache in her stomach.

She had muttered half-broken apologies most of the night, and Aaron rocked and held her through it, only making her heart more and more confused. She’d thought it was only her body that was aching for a man’s touch, but the moment they collided, she felt something else—something she hadn’t felt for anyone besides Jared. It crushed her; she never thought in a hundred years that she’d feel so connected to another person. She’d had her one, and she was a firm believer that one is all anyone is ever allowed to get.

After her high, she’d crashed so hard that all that was left of her was a guilty conscience—not just for allowing another man to carry her over the falls of ecstasy, but for subconsciously comparing the experience to her previous ones…and knowing that it surpassed them all.

She’d made love before. She’d been in the arms of and shared moments with a man who would own her heart forever…but…gah,there had to be a but…Aaron made her feel things that were not only familiar, but were so foreign and beautiful that she hadn’t believed they were possible. He hadn’t just given her pleasure, he’d sealed up wounds that were buried so deep she hadn’t even known they existed. Jared had loved her, but he’d never done that…because she never needed him to.

She was an absolute traitor. Her heart was still cocooned for her first love, but her body wanted this new, powerful, and euphoric drug that Aaron provided.

Her fingers twitched against the chest hair her hand had been resting on all night. She’d most likely ruined anything he’d been feeling for her, what with her inability to contain all her conflicting emotions. It was strange how this year had been the longest of her life, and nothing seemed to be moving forward. Then, suddenly, it went way too quickly.

Aaron must have felt her waking, and he shifted underneath her, their skin sticking to each other from their shared body heat. Kennedy eased up, her muscles aching from the position she’d been in all night. She could only imagine what Aaron was feeling like, especially his neck as he tilted it from side to side.

His tired eyes met hers, and there was a flash of concern Kennedy could only guess was over her mental health. A small laugh flitted from her lips, and she shook her head at herself, deciding to go for a light conversation, the heavy parts of her too exhausted to come out. “Can I for oncenotembarrass myself in front of you?”

His stomach shook with silent laughter, and the couch dented in as he pushed up off his knuckles to sit more upright. He covered a yawn as he said, “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, Kennedy.”

The skip in her heart as her name fell so easily off his tongue said otherwise. She slumped over, her hands itching to hold on to his while they had this conversation; given what he’d done for her last night, she had no right to be shy. She had nodesireto be shy. Her breath came free, and she reached for his hand, skin warming instantly when she tucked her fingers into his palm.

His eyes flicked down to the act for just a second before coming back to meet hers.

“Last night was…” she started, trying to find the right words to describe the euphoria she’d experienced at his hands. Aaron’s mouth turned down, and his grip twitched against hers.

“Wrong?” he filled in, and she inhaled sharply at the unexpected definition, though she couldn’t deny it, either.

She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know.” She waited for his eyes to come back to hers. “It didn’t feel wrong. That’s why it felt so…wrong.”

Aaron nodded, and then shifted on the couch, propping his leg up against hers. The dampness of his jeans sent goosebumps up her bare skin, and on top of the confusion she felt a twinge of guilt for keeping him so uncomfortable all evening.

She took a deep breath, ready to make this quick so he could go put some clean clothes on. “I don’t know if…” Her voice had started to break already, and she gulped, hoping that it would help. Aaron leaned forward, draping his free arm on the back of the couch, his fingers within reach of her shoulder, where he ran a comforting thumb across the loose plaid shirt.

She decided to start somewhere else; somewhere less self-incriminating. “I haven’t been with someone since Jared.”

Aaron’s eyebrows twitched upward, but he didn’t look completely surprised. She supposed she hadn’t hidden the fact that she’d had a hard time moving on, the evidence of which was sitting in the same room with them.

“I don’t know if I’m…” Her voice was gone again, and she blew out a long breath, wondering why it was so much harder to admit out loud—that she had felt so much last night, more than she had in a long time, if ever. Aaron had taken her to a place she never knew existed. It seemed a crime to reach that state of bliss with anyone other than Jared. It was hard to admit that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt that state of blisswithJared. The thoughts made her eyes water.

Aaron slid a soft finger across her forehead, tucking away the hair she was hoping would cover any lingering tears from her breakdown the night before. She felt a small smile pull at her heart, grateful for the patient way he was handling her jumbled mind.

“I don’t know if I’m forgetting what it was like,” she said in a rush, leaning into his soft touch. “To be with a man, to be intimate, to be…taken away like that.” She swallowed hard and watched Aaron’s lips slowly part. He stayed quiet, but his breathing stalled as he waited for her to finish the horrible thought.

She squeezed his hand and dropped her gaze to their laps. “I don’t know if it’s that, or if…if these feelings are just…stronger.” Her eyes drifted over her shoulder to the urn resting on the opposite couch. “And that just doesn’t seem fair. To anyone.”

Then Aaron did something she wasn’t expecting—hesmiled.She furrowed her brow at the expression, unable to control her own lips from turning up. He pushed up, grabbing at the back of her neck and pressing their foreheads together. A deep, long sigh fell from his smiling lips, as if her awful confession were filled with words of sweet relief, when it was anything but.

“It’s not fair,” he said. He held her close like that for several beats, and she was tempted to close the gaps between their bodies, beg him to take her to that magical place where none of this confusion existed and he could heal even more broken parts of her, but she knew that the crash would be just as hard as it had been before, and her mind just wasn’t ready for it again so soon.

He lifted his head, meeting her eyes with a beautiful look that mirrored her exact emotions.

“We should get out today,” he said. “Austin, you, and I. We’ll show you around town, take you to all the places Jared used to cause havoc.”

She bit away a grin at the fact that he’d added his brother in the mix. Obviously he knew that more alone time would be too tempting not to take advantage of.

“Yes,” she said, nodding enthusiastically. “I’dreallylike to do that.”

“Me, too.” Aaron let out a warm breath, pulling back and slapping his knees. “Let me change, then Charlie and I will take you to the B&B.”

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