Page 40 of Pillowtalk

“I’m nervous,” he started, and she suddenly remembered that she’d asked him a question. “Because, selfishly, I don’t want to wonder if this will make me an awful person. More awful than I am, I mean.”

She shook her head, silently shooting down that worry for him. He only shook his head back at her.

“It’s not just that,” he continued. “It’s mostly…”

Kennedy saw the worry lines at the corners of his eyes, the frown on his lips, and she reached up and cupped his face. If there was anything she could do to take away the pain that was so clearly written in his expression, she would do it.

“What?” she asked, hoping that if he said the words aloud she could erase them from his mind.

“I don’t want you to…wish that I was him.”

Her heart plummeted into a torrid sea, her breath stolen away as he tucked his face into her, hiding from the admission that she knew had to have been so hard to speak out loud. Her arms wrapped around his head, cradling him to her chest as their legs tangled together.

“I don’t,” she promised, and her sinking heart both broke and sewed back together in the same beat. “I wantyou,Aaron. I needyou,right now.”

The truth of her words recoiled on her, prickling the back of her eyes and shattering her soul. She had told herself never to want another man like this, never to forget Jared or stop loving Jared, but she was falling, tumbling off the edge for Aaron, and, at the same time, grasping at anything to keep hold of the first man she ever loved.

She tugged at the back of his head, pulling his hair to get him to look at her. His golden gaze was filled with apology that he dared even ask her to wish for someone other than Jared. She wanted to erase that look, take away the guilt coloring his irises every time he admitted that he gave more than two licks about her.

Her fingers locked into the soft strands of his hair and she crushed her lips to his, needing the fire he inspired in her to fuse her two halves together and be with only him in this moment. A surprised groan came from deep in his chest, but he quickly matched her fervor, his soft lips teasing her as he alternated between suckling and nipping.

Kennedy fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, her nerves starting to quiet from his addicting touch.

“Please,” she begged between their lips, her shaking hands unable to get him undressed. He pushed off the bed, hovering over her and ripping both his button-up and his undershirt over his head. Kennedy ran a hand over his rippling muscles as he bent back down to kiss her, his elbows dipping the mattress on either side of her shoulders, his hands cradling her head in equal reverence and determination.

He was completely mind-numbing, dulling her scattered thoughts and igniting responses in her that had seemed like only memories. A burning hand skated up her shirt, smoothing over the hills and valleys of her body. It wouldn’t be long now, and her nerves were still running rampant in her lower belly, tying a thousand knots. Why did she feel so much with him? Why did she feel like it wasmore? She sniffed the thoughts away, crumpled and burned them, and as she did, her body fell into a space that was only reserved for him and her.

“Aaron…” she whispered in a heady and relieved breath. Her words got stuck in her throat, the request lost as she realized just what she was about to say; she was going to ask him to make love to her, but that couldn’t be what they were doing, what they wereaboutto do. She wasn’t going to love another person the way she had Jared. She couldn’t make love with Aaron; it was not fair to anyone.

Yet she couldn’t call what they were doingsex,either. That was too soft a word for how she felt. What was in between having sex and making love?

Aaron’s tongue dipped into her mouth, putting a thick wedge between her brain and her body, and she met him stroke for stroke. He groaned, his chiseled stomach vibrating against the soft fabric of her shirt, and she pulled at her clothes, anxious to be skin on skin, ready to be taken away by his very capable hands.

“Let me,” he said, tucking a palm under her back and bringing her up with him as he sat back. His knuckles brushed the small of her back, sending hot trails and exciting tremors up her spine as he slipped her shirt up off her head. Her lips found his as soon as her top left her body, and he had her moaning into his mouth before she even heard the fabric flump against the floor, joining his discarded shirts.

He held her close, her bare breasts falling flush against the perfectly cut lines in his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he tucked his hands under her ass and lifted her up on him. His hard length pressed against her soft center, and her heart took a dive, stars appeared in her vision, and her fingers tightened their grip in his hair, pulling, tugging, needing to feel more than just the hum of pleasure through their jeans.

They rocked against each other slowly, relieving some of the pressure, but not nearly enough. Kennedy’s lips left his with a wet pop, her head rolling back as she tried to even out her breathing. His skin was so hot, it felt like flames were flickering all around them, and when his mouth touched her neck, she could swear that she was at the stake, burning and burning for enjoying this all too much.

“You’re so warm,” she said, her eyes slowly opening and dropping to meet his. “You’re always so warm to me.”

He paused in his gentle thrusting, staring up at her, his eyes swimming with disbelief, with gratitude, and with something she couldn’t put her finger on. She brought a hand to his heart, feeling the rapid pulse, her body sinking into the sensation of being with not just any man, but someone who made her feel so much when she often forced herself to feel so little.

“I often think the same about you,” he said, and then he shifted them, gently lifting her up and setting her back until she hit the cold, neglected part of the bedsheets. His forearms came down next to her, his thumb stroking the side of her head, tangling in her hair and making her eyes roll.

That look, his gentle caress…they locked the door on every one of her torn thoughts, and all that was left was their burning bodies, and her heart, beating for only one person right then. Without her worries to accompany it, she let it beat as hard as it wanted.

He bent his head, and she met him, pressing her lips hard against his, dipping her tongue inside and exploring every inch of his mouth. Her stomach buzzed, tingling with anticipation as she frantically reached for the button of his jeans. Her pinky trailed along the V she’d been thinking about earlier, her blood rushing through her body and her brain, quieting to near silence when she finally popped the button open.

A sharp hiss slipped through his teeth, interrupting their kiss as she slipped a hand into his jeans and wrapped it around his hard and velvety erection. His forehead fell against hers and she gulped, her breath hitching as she ran her hand up and down, mimicking the motions of what she wanted him to do to her. She flicked her eyes up to meet his, holding his burning gaze as she gave her gentle ministrations. His arms started trembling on either side of her, his muscles flexed and straining to keep himself upright. A rush of wet heat went through her at how she could affect him, how powerful she felt, and how grateful she was that they were experiencing these pleasurable things together in a world filled with so much pain. She turned her head and pressed a kiss to his forearm, and that must have drained the rest of his strength, because he fell onto her, his lips crashing down onto hers. His hands tore at the button of her pants and shucked both them and her panties off her in one jumbled swoop, the rest of his clothing following not long after. Her skin buzzed beneath his hands as they skated up her legs, and the sound of his pants hitting the floor made her stomach dip and swirl…but not with nerves. No, those were gone now.

She rolled her hips against his, her eyes blinking back stars as his mouth loved her jaw, her neck, then stopped at the cusp of her bra.

“It’s not just your skin,” he said, and her brow furrowed as he ran his fingers down her ribs and clutched her hip. “Your smile, your laugh, the way your nose wrinkles…Kennedy,everythingabout you is warm.”

As if her body was determined to prove him right, it ran a few degrees hotter, one of her nipples budding against his chin. His eyes lifted to hers, watching as he found the clasp nestled in her cleavage and flicked it open.

She’d been this exposed with him before, but this time it felt different, almost surreal as he ran a rough palm over her breast, massaging and keeping his eyes on hers. Her head was cotton candy, her body a bursting cannon of colors. She moved her hand over his face, her fingers needing to touch him, her skin pleading for his to collide with hers. As he hovered over her, his sculpted torso a whisper away, she smoothed her palm over his abs, ran her thumbs into the slanted V of his hips, tickled a path to his back, and dropped a light kiss to his shoulder. His fingers flexed on her breast, sending shock waves through her spine. She shivered against him, arching her back.

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