Page 50 of Pillowtalk

Kennedy

Would he even want to see me?Kennedy thought as she sat on the train, the heat from the sun streaming through the window and making her sticky and uncomfortable. She was so grateful that Chelsea had the sense not to listen to Kennedy’s request to spread the ashes; the moment she changed her mind, Chelsea had been her first phone call.

She’d begged Chelsea not to tell Aaron she was heading back—she wanted to spread Jared’s ashes first, to grant him his last request, to give him peace, to let go enough to hold on to someone else.

But never forget. She wouldneverdo that, and she finally realized that loving someone else wouldn’t mean forgetting the way she’d felt for Jared.

The conductor’s voice fuzzed out over the intercom, announcing the next stop. Kennedy blew out a breath, excitement coupled with nerves as she grabbed hold of the handlebar above her head and pulled herself up. She’d gone over what she wanted to say at least a few dozen times, each explanation falling flat. She knew she’d been a complete pendulum while she stayed here…pushing away and falling forward, never knowing where she would land. But she was firmly set in her decision now, and she could only hope and pray Aaron would be just as forgiving as he was patient.

She let out a weary laugh as the train pulled into the station, a light rain spattering across the windows.Of courseit was raining. Hopefully this time it wasn’t a hunker-down type of storm brewing. She had things to do, apologies to make.

Another long breath escaped her, and she tried to calm her nerves by reminding herself that she still had a few hours’ drive ahead of her before she saw him. Plenty of time to go over the perfect apology.

She stepped onto the platform, eyes searching around for a colorful scarf and—if she was being honest—a look of death for leaving in the first place. But the first pair of eyes she found weren’t the oceanic blues that every member of the Porter clan had, but the warm, honey eyes that had haunted her dreams from the moment she’d noticed them just a few weeks ago.

And she stopped dead in her tracks.

Aaron stood there on the platform, his white T-shirt peeking out from under his signature plaid. His hair was mussed, the tips glistening in the sun that shone through the rain falling from the sky. Her feet were glued to the wood beneath her, but her heart…her heart was sailing through the air, hoping against all hope that he would catch it before it fell and spattered at his feet.

“You’re back,” he said, his voice low, his lips parted, his eyes so unsure.

Kennedy could almost taste the heartache she’d caused him, and it gutted her. She’d wanted Jared’s ashes spread before she told Aaron how sorry she was, and how much she loved him, but as the rain pelted down onto his shoulders, soaking into the fabric, his eyes hesitant and nervous, but still trying desperately to understand her, a sense of urgency swept through her, and she dropped her luggage and grasped for him, needing him to knownow.

He jolted at her touch, and she reached up, threading her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, and then she crashed her lips to his. A sound of surprise vibrated from his throat, tingling her anxious, wet lips and making her worry that she’d jumped the gun. She pulled away, her voice immediately out the moment they parted.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was so scared and confused and I ran and it wasn’t fair, and I’m so—”

His mouth covered hers so quickly that her words were sucked into oblivion, her thoughts quieted, and her heart jumped into her throat. His hands slid up her back, pulling her body flush against his, warming her from the inside out in the summer rain around them.

She still had to tell him…she wanted him to hear it out loud and know and understand how much she meant it. He thoughthewas undeserving? This man who’d just forgiven and understood her with just a babbled nonsensical apology? No, if anyone was undeserving of this new love branching out between them, it was her.

But his lips were such a sweet addiction that she lost herself in them, inhim,and she could have been standing there for two seconds or two years and she wouldn’t have known the difference.

“I…” she managed to get out during the small break in their kiss for much-needed air. “I love…”

She felt his head shake, and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking away the rain. His forehead was bunched in the middle, his brows pulled low, his expression stricken with the same sense of urgency she felt running through her.

“I know you love him,” he said. “You’re always going to love Jared. I get that. I promise you, I get it, and I understand it, and if you need time to work things out, I can step back—”

Her brows pinched together, and she pressed a finger to his lips. She shook her head hard, locking eyes with him so he paid attention. He had to know that that wasn’t what she was going to say. He had to know that while she’d been so torn before, she wasn’t anymore. He’d completely sewn her together.

“Yes,” she said, then set her hands on his cheeks. “I loved him, and a part of me still will.” She searched his eyes, the honey color swirling. “But…I love you, too.” A quiet, two-second beat fell between them, enough to make her worry about it. “Is that okay? Will that be okay?”

His grip tightened on the small of her back, a long breath of relief falling from his lips. “I love you, too.” A grin began to grow under her fingers, and her heart sped up with the words hanging between them. “Of course it’s okay,” he said, meeting her gaze. “More than okay.”

He tapped a sweet kiss to her forehead, to the tip of her nose, and he added, “Just…please don’t leave me again. This week has been absolute hell.”

She nudged away her embarrassment, offering him up an apologetic frown that he must have found amusing because his lips turned up and a small laugh fell between them. She wouldn’t dare leave again, and the promise was written all over her face, enough that Aaron didn’t seem to need an answer. His lips caught hers, locking her again in euphoric, unreal bliss that she couldn’t believe she’d found not once, but twice. She knew how precious it was, how fleeting it could be, and so she held on, and promised herself and secretly him that she wouldn’t run from it when she could have it.

“Hold me,” she said as they broke apart. “Please…will you hold me when I let him go?”

His brow furrowed. “You want me to spread the ashes with you?”

She nodded, closing her eyes and resting against the comfort of his shoulder. She wanted him near, knowing now that it was okay…thateverythingwas okay. Her falling in love with him, him being there when she spread Jared’s ashes. It felt so right, so fitting, so imperfectly perfect with Jared’s best friend and now the man she had given her heart to for safekeeping.

She felt the softest of kisses land on her forehead.

“Kennedy, I will hold you whenever you ask me to.”

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