“I should’ve warned you, and I’m sorry.”
I blow out a sigh and settle my board against the wall. “Pete, it’s really too late to have this conversation.”
“I agree, which is why I think we should have it.”
“I meant too late in the day. Or night. Or whatever.” I rub my eyes and head to the stairs. “We can talk when I’m more awake.”
“Are you pissed?” he blurts, pushing up from the couch. He towers over me, but I’ve never felt less intimidated by a person. “Because I promise I didn’t mean to go behind your back with all this. Demi talked to Candice, and she thought it might be a good idea to get Mom and Dad back in the picture—”
“Pete, seriously,” I cut in, heat starting to rise up my neck. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I don’t have the energy to keep my cool. He’ll see a side of me that I keep hidden, and I do a damn good job of it with most everyone. Except Tanner, I guess. He sees right through that bullshit, which is probably why he knows how to handle it better than I do.
I stick my hand on the banister and get three steps up before Pete stops me in my tracks. “Don’t you want some freedom?” he asks, his voice tired, much like how my brain is running lately.
My brow furrows, and I spin on my heel. “Is that what this whole thing is about? Yourfreedom?” If it’s about that, he can get the hell out of here for all I care. Throw in the towel and run.
His light brown eyes grow weary, and he shakes his head at the floor. “We never really got any, and now’s kinda the perfect time for it.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Pete and I got our freedom when we left our parents. We gave that freedom to Demi when we asked her to live with us. Dad was high or drunk more than half the time, and Mom was content to act completely oblivious. Pete paid their mortgage while I took care of food, clothing, utilities. At least when we moved out, we were doing all those things for each other without the extra emotional stress of living with complacent parents.
Just a year and a half ago, Pete was fighting to get Demi under our roof and grant that samefreedomwe had to fight for.
I stare my brother down, betrayal pricking my heart like a pin cushion. And I realize I am pissed. I am jealous. I am all those things they assume I am.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re getting a new family then,” I nearly growl at him. “Won’t have to worry about this one anymore.”
He jerks back, red creeping up his cheeks. “You know damn well this family is all I care about.”
“But from afar, right? Don’t want to care about us up close anymore.”
His jaw ticks. “I’m not going to feel guilty over getting married, Maddie. I deserve to live my own life.”
“Funny how your voice suddenly sounds like Candace.”
It’s a low blow. I know it the second the words drop from my lips. I don’t even know where they come from—somewhere deep within me, I’m sure. But with how late the hour is, how raw and open I feel, they jumped to the surface and stung him in a place I never would’ve dared touch if I wasn’t so tired of keeping it in.
He crosses the room, stopping on the bottom step. We’re eye to eye, even though I’m a few steps above him. “Candace loves you like a sister. She’ll be part ofthisfamily, not a new one. She wouldn’t want it any other way. Don’t you dare accuse her of trying to pull me away from this.” He wings his arm out, gesturing to our apartment, to the life we’ve built together. “If it were up to her, she’d live here with us.I’mthe one who wants a life with her. I want to be a full-time husband and I want kids and I want to be a good father because we both know how much a kid needs one. I need that with Candace, and I need to know you will have that opportunity, too.”
I take in what he says, but I don’t let it sink. “Don’t pretend that you’re abandoning us for my benefit. That you basically ambushed me at dinner tonight because you want freedom for me. Or that any of this is for Demi. This is all about you tying up loose ends before you get hitched.”
“Demi came to me,” he hisses. “She wants back with Mom and Dad.”
“Why the hell would she want that?” My voice cracks with the question, and I pray he doesn’t answer me. I’m already terrified that I’ve fallen short as a sister, caretaker, friend… I’m working my ass off for so little, but I’d do it day in and day out if it meant Demi would stay.
“Because she loves you.” His voice lowers, gets softer, but in no means is he soft. “You want to know what she said? She came to me in tears after your shopping trip. Said she’s done being the obligation. I didn’t even know she knew that word, didn’t know she was feeling like a burden.”
“She’s not.”
“I know that, but she doesn’t.” He settles a hand on the banister, playing with the wooden ball sitting atop the final post on the bottom stair.
A small, croaked voice interrupts my heart shattering. “Pete…” Demi says from the downstairs hallway that leads to her room. The tiniest bit of light floods out from the crack in her door, cascading across the worn carpet. Water builds in her eyes, her fingers tucked into the hem of her blue tank top that she wears to bed. “You… you promised you wouldn’t tell.”
I can’t see my brother’s face, but his shoulders slump, his head hangs, and my heart resumes its shattering, pieces falling into the pit of my stomach, piercing vital organs.
“Dem, I—” Pete starts, but our sister turns to her room and slams the door behind her. Pete rushes down the hall and taps on the door. “Dem, I’m sorry.” He begs for her to let him in, but his voice muffles in my ears.
I pluck my feet from the floor, struggling with every step up to my room, like the stairs are made of wet cement. My sister doesn’t want to talk to me. My brother is abandoning me. My parents think I’m incapable of taking care of myself, let alone anyone else. And the only person in the world I’m not upset with is probably fast asleep and most likely tired of my family drama taking up so much of our time together.
My body flops on my bed, and I lazily plug my phone in the charger. I was hoping to lie here and bask in the perfect night I had on that half-pipe until I dozed off, but now all I can think about are my siblings shut away from me.