Page 54 of Double Trouble

“And the other part?” I prod. I hope he’s not here to take Dem out from me right now. I know I’m bedridden and unable to work and the medical bills will start piling up, but even so, I will fight for my sister. He’s sober… today. But what about next week? Next month? Next year? He hasn’t proven anything to me yet, and until he does, I will continue to fight.

“I… heard you were on medication.”

“Yes…” I say cautiously. He’s seen it already, and his eyes flick to my nightstand drawer briefly before he continues.

“I want you to be careful, Madison.”

I jerk back, my arms uncrossing and falling into my lap. “What are you getting at?”

He reaches for my hand, and his skin is so foreign to me. The touch feels distant, unfamiliar, like a stranger brushing me on the sidewalk. It must feel this way to him too, because he doesn’t keep his hand there for long, pulling it back to his side. “I know what it’s like,” he says. “I know how it feels to have a tiny pill take every ounce of pain away. I know how addictive it is. I don’t want that for you.”

I raise a brow, my heart thumping for him, for me, for the pain he’s reminding us both of. He quieted his own pain and amplified mine in the process. Not just mine, but Pete, Dem… our family was swimming in it every time we came home to a drugged up father.

“Dad… I’ll never abuse.Never.” When he gives me a look filled with sympathy and skepticism, I shake my head and make my voice calm but strong. “Do you remember what it was like when I was a kid?” I let out a hollow laugh at the wrinkle in his brow. “Yeah, you probably don’t.”

“I’m… not good with remembering things.”

“Especially when you were doped out for half of it.” He winces against the truth of my words, but he doesn’t refute them. I take a deep breath. “Dad, I hated coming home after school. I never brought friends over. I hid in my room as much as I could. And when I turned sixteen, you forced me to pay for the bills. You begged me for money for your next fix. I went to school and worked and slept for two, three hours before having to do it all over again. I had to watch you retreat farther and farther from your family. There were days you just sat there, oblivious to everything around you. And there were other days that you would lose it over a stray Cheerio on the floor. I never knew which dad I was going to get, but either one sucked. One I feared, and the other I resented.”

He nods, taking in every word I’ve held from him over the years. He won’t meet my eyes, but I need him to. I need him to see what he’s done, why I won’t do that to myself or the family he abandoned for drugs.

“That’s why I won’t abuse those pills in my drawer. It’s why I take less than the recommended dose. And that’s why I don’t want Demi to live with you.”

His gaze shoots up to me as I let the last sentence fall from my lips. I straighten my shoulders and look him straight in the eye. “You’re sober. I know this. But for how long, Dad?” I shake my head. “If I can give Demi a life free from the one I had growing up, I will. And I won’t back down. I won’t just sit and take it anymore. I may be stuck in this bed, stuck doing it on my own, but I don’t care. I will do everything for that girl, and I’ll do anything to keep her here with me.”

He swallows hard, coughing around the lump that must be in his throat.

“You won’t be on your own,” a voice comes from my open bedroom door. Pete steps out from the shadows, into the room with me and our father. His eyes swivel from me to Dad and back again, sorrow filling his features.

“Aren’t you moving out?” Dad says, his voice gruff, but there is no malice. He genuinely seems to understand where we are, what we want.

I however, eye my brother up and down, waiting for him to answer that question. Last time I checked, he was ready to hightail it out of here.

“Yeah. But that doesn’t mean Maddie’s on her own.” He checks over his shoulder, and Demi pops her head inside the room, too. She’s wearing the shirt I bought her last time we went to the mall. I saw the Baby Yoda splayed on the front and insisted I get it for her. She groused but humored me. She wears it at least once a week.

Pete puts an arm around Demi’s shoulder and tucks her into his side. He looks more like a father than Dad ever has. “If Dem wants to stay with Maddie, then I’ll continue to support that.” He meets my gaze. “In whatever support you need.”

The love for my brother spreads through my body, and I swear there is absolutely no pain in my leg for the briefest of moments. He knew exactly how to phrase that. All I needed was him on my side. I never wanted the extra income or the extra body under the roof. He loves Candace, and I get that she is going to be his family. I also get that she’s our family, too. With him standing next to me, Demi under his arm, I feel like our cracked and bruised relationship has finally healed.

Dad pushes off my bed and turns to Dem. I catch the edge of his smile as he speaks to her. “I’m not going to sway your decision either way, Demi. I will be a better father to you than I was to your brother and sister. I know that in my heart.” He crouches down to her level, and she leans against Pete. “I also know, right from here”—he points to his heart—“that Maddie will give you a loving home. By some miracle, I didn’t mess her spirit up. If you’re happy here, you can stay for as long as you want. But… come see me more often, yeah?”

Demi’s eyes light up, and she quickly turns to Pete. “You promise you’ll help if Mad needs it?”

He takes a finger and makes an X over his heart. Dem’s shoulders rise with a deep inhale, then fall dramatically as she lets out a long breath. “I love you, Daddy. But… I want to stay.” Her voice cracks. “Is it okay if I stay?”

Dad pulls her in for a hug, and I catch Dem’s face over his shoulder. Her eyes fall closed, and she tucks into the warmth of our dad that I never got. It’s such a different reaction than I had from his touch, and it makes me happy that she still has that innocence in her about him. I pray that he proves me wrong, that he becomes a place of peace for her—for our whole family.

He drops his arms and rises, standing just as tall as Pete. He gives Pete a clap on the shoulder. “Good to see you, PJ.”

Pete hates that name, but he doesn’t mention it. “Good to see you sober, Dad.”

Dad turns to me, curling his lip into a half-smile. “I came to give you a talk, and you ended up putting me in my place.” He reaches for my hand again, and I give it to him, preparing for the unfamiliar brush, but something warm hits me deep in the gut instead. “I’m proud of you, Mads.”

And for the first time in years, I pull my father in for a hug.

It’s weird walking into Troublemakers, knowing it’s my last time here. The place is buzzing today. The bells and whistles from the arcade up the left staircase filter down to the main entrance, and I weave in and out of parents with their kids, teenagers on group dates, and a few college freshmen looking for where to grab an application.

Well, a spot just opened up, lucky ducks.

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