Page 53 of Enemies to Lovers

Confusion pinches his brows. “I thought I was being pretty clear about how I feel about you.”

“Um, no.”

“Sleeping with you isn’t clear?” he clips. I swivel at his tone, and his eyes narrow. “Because I don’t do that with just anyone, Val. I wouldn’t do that with you unless…”

He lets his thoughts drop into the wind, shaking his head and blowing out a breath.

I swallow hard, my gaze drifting to the ground again. “You have no idea how badly I want to believe that.”

“I don’t know how else to show you.” He stops in his tracks, and when I keep walking, he snags the material of my jacket, tugging me back to him. “Is it really a lost cause? Because I think you feel it for me, too.”

My shoulders sag. He has me there. But there’s the niggle in the back of my head—he’s playing you. That internship is all he wants.

A booming bark jolts me, and I watch Brewster bolt across the field, tail tucked between his legs, running from a woman sitting on one of the benches. I pull at the neckline of my shirt, wondering if she did something to him, but she pats a few more dogs that come up to her, a polite smile on her face.

I watch Brewster run to another dog, and his tail starts to perk up and wag.

“Val?”

I turn my attention to Miles. His eyes drift over my face, then fall to the braid over my shoulder. He reaches for it, slowly running a thumb over the weaves before letting it drop.

“Is it a lost cause?” he asks again, and no matter how badly he hurt me, I don’t want to keep him dangling… even if I’m unsure of the answer.

“I haven’t forgiven you.” I straighten my stance, some of my rehearsed words appearing. “You hurt me, took advantage of me. That’s not something I can just let go.”

“I know.” He stuffs his hands into his jean pockets, and they curl into fists. “And you know what sucks? That makes me like you more.”

A smile cracks my lips, then I point a finger at him. “Stop. You keep talking like that, and my resolve will break.”

“Isn’t that good for me?”

“No.” I start walking, and he falls into step with me. “There is still an internship at stake.”

“I’ll give it up,” he blurts, and red flashes behind my eyes. He can’t do that. It’s the reason for everything, and I don’t want it by default.

“Don’t you dare.” I stop again. He needs to understand. “You want the internship. You wanted it badly enough to do what you did.”

“But I’d—”

“I know. You’d give it up for me. That’s what you say. But do you realize the guilt I’d feel? The resentment you’d hold for me next year?” I take a deep breath, tears pushing against the backs of my eyes. “You’re right, Miles. I feel for you… more than I should, given what we’ve been through. More than you deserve. But because I feel for you, if you want the internship, I want that for you. If you earn it, I will celebrate for you more than grieve for myself.”

He takes my face into his hands, and his touch ignites the fire inside that always burns on low around him. Now it’s an inferno, and I fear it’ll leave him with scars.

“How are you so perfect?” His eyes search mine, dropping to my lips briefly. He can’t kiss me. I won’t let him.

“I’m not. Stop saying that.”

“But even rejecting me, you manage to make me fall farther.” His hands slide from my face, and I miss the warmth immediately. He pulls at his hair, yanking and tugging and struggling with his words. I grab his hands, hoping whatever thoughts tormenting him calm with my touch.

“If you put me on a pedestal, I will fall.” I crank my neck to get him to look at me. “Seriously, Miles. I can’t live up to whatever version of me is in your mind.”

“You already are.”

“I did the same to you.” I squeeze his hands. “Trust me, it’s not fair to either of us.”

He lets that sink, and I’m grateful he does. I don’t want the internship only for him to continue thinking it’s because I didn’t earn it. That it came to me. Easy. Natural.

And I don’t want to lose out on it, only for him to think I gave it to him.

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