Page 15 of The White Knight

“The people will not accept him. What they will accept is that I had adopted your child without knowing the gender, without knowing that Excalibur would choose Galahad. Merlin believes Excalibur has shown her loyalty to me in this action. That in choosing to accept your child as my own, she revealed herself in my child. For Galahad is my son. Not as he is Lancelot’s, but in every way that matters. I love him.”

“And he loves you.” I reach out for Arthur’s hand and he quickly takes it, giving it a squeeze. Arthur is an admirable ruler. A kind man. A loving husband. But he is a fool if he believes the people would be so accepting. Too kind to be a king. “We cannot tell the kingdom that Galahad is Lancelot’s child. It was never a lie we said out loud. But we let everyone believe Galahad was yours. They have accepted him as your heir. He is protected as your heir. As the son of Lancelot, Galahad will not have the allies you think are loyal to you. Mordred will ensure he loses favor with the kingdom, with the realm.”

Arthur sighs, knowing I am right. The kingdom cannot know Arthur had led them on for eight years. “What about us?”

I hesitate, looking toward the door to my bedroom where Lance is bathing, then turn back to Arthur. His pleading eyes break my heart. He doesn’t want to lose me either. “I don’t know. Lance is alive. This whole time he was alive, Arthur.”

Arthur pulls me to him, seeing the pain behind my eyes that threatens to tear through me like a plague. I let Arthur hold me. His attempt to soothe me is sweet, but I cannot stop crying.

“Guinevere. If you choose Lancelot, it is the same outcome as confessing our lie. There will be more than doubt about Galahad’s paternity. His claim to my throne could be weakened, if not accepted at all. I would be left without a queen, without an heir, my kingdom, and everything I have worked so hard for…I am not saying this to convince you to stay, only I…I am frightened of this future you spoke to me of.”

His last comment only makes the pain strengthen. I am gasping for breath as I attempt to calm myself down enough to speak. “I know,” is all I get out between breaths.

Behind me, a door opens. When I turn out of Arthur’s embrace, I nearly faint at the sight of him. Sir Lancelot, roughly shaven and worn down, but still my husband. The man who stole my heart, shattered it to pieces, and gave me my beautiful son. A boy who brings sunshine and laughter everywhere he goes.

In my weakness, I run to Lance as he takes the last step down the stairs. He accepts me into his warm embrace, pulling me tightly to his body. With my cheek pressed against his chest, I continue to cry. Tears stream down my face as I violently tremble in Lance’s arms. My husband. My love. My heart has returned to me.

I honestly am not sure what will happen. Will the kingdom accept Lance as my husband and allow Arthur to keep Galahad as his heir? I know the answer, but my heart and mind are at warwith each other. I crave Lance’s touch. Now that I have him back, I know I can never have his touch again.

Arthur’s plan could work. But Mordred holds too much power in his words. I know he would turn the kingdom against us all and not because I read it in a story, but because I know the kind of scum Mordred is. In this moment, I don’t care. All I care about are the arms wrapped around me and the heart beating rapidly into my ear.

“Guin, my love, I am so sorry.” Lance’s arms tightened their grip around me as if he means to absorb my body into his. I wouldn’t mind either. But there is much we need to discuss, and I know Arthur is desperate for a Lancelot hug too.

I feel cold as soon as I release my grip from around Lance’s waist. Looking up into his eyes, I see he has been crying as well. I reach up and brush his tears away. He does the same for me. Before turning back to Arthur, I slip my hand into Lance’s, but he attempts to pull his hand from mine when he looks up at Arthur. I don’t give up so easily, keeping his hand in mine as I walk toward my other husband.

Lancelot throws himself down, kneeling before Arthur, more tears spilling down his face. “My king, forgive me.”

“What are you asking to be forgiven for?”

“I failed in defeating the dragon. I failed to return home to my wife. I have failed to raise my son. You have taken on the burden of caring for my family for…eight years. I…I…and I am sorry. I do not know if I can stop loving Guin…Queen Guinevere.”

“Why would you have to stop loving your wife, Lancelot?” Arthur pulls Lance back up to his feet.

“Well, because she is yours now.”

“Lance, Arthur and I may be married now, but aren’t we also still wed? You are alive,” I nearly scream, my irrational mind taking over, forgetting the fear swirling in the pit of my stomach as I look upon the face I never thought I’d see again.

“But you are his queen. And Galahad his heir.” Lancelot’s eyes are full of despair at the truth of our situation.

Arthur answers for me. “Yes. Guinevere is my queen. The kingdom accepted her the moment she returned to Camelot. Guinevere is beloved in Camelot and throughout the realm. And Galahad, the kingdom will continue to accept him as my heir. The question is, will they allow a king’s heir to be another’s son? Will they allow a king’s queen to be another man’s wife? I want nothing more than to give you your family, Lancelot. To let you take them back to Joyous Gard and live the life you should have been living.”

Lance dries his face with his hands. Then he pulls Arthur into a death-grip hug. Slowly, I see Arthur’s arms reach around Lance, squeezing gently. And when the two finally release each other, fresh tears slide down their faces.

“Would I have received such an embrace if I told you that Guinevere was mine and mine alone?” Arthur asks, holding Lance an arms-length away.

“Under different circumstances, no,” Lance replies. The pair chuckle softly before turning serious again. “What happens now? What state is the kingdom in?”

I take a step closer to my men. “This is the part we are unsure of. If we tell the kingdom the truth, how can the people trust Arthur again? Though we’ve said nothing for or against the rumors. But Mordred has made it difficult for me and Galahad. He has already planted the seeds of distrust in the people. Knowing who he is in the story of King Arthur, I’m worried about what he could do.”

“And who is he? Besides a horse’s ass,” Lance scoffs.

I laugh loudly at that comment. “Horse’s ass is accurate. Sorry, Arthur.”

“Mordred can be difficult at times, but he is still my nephew. I cannot believe he would wish ill of me. Even so, let Guinevere tell the tale, Lancelot.”

The three of us sit together on the benches in front of the fireplace as if there haven’t been eight years of distance between us. My heart races every time I steal a glance at Lance’s bright green eyes swimming with unshed tears. His lips curl into a grin at my glances. Fuck, how I want to tear his clothes off and kiss every inch of his delicious body and ride that grin all night long. I blush at my own thoughts and turn to Arthur, a man I have grown to love.

As much as I want Lance back, could I give up Arthur? I don’t know. With Lance here, my mind and body are at war with each other. I can’t have him. At least for now. I will have to wait until it is safe. Until we have a solid enough plan that will allow us to be together. I can’t let myself be free with Lance, even though he is my husband. If we are caught, if Mordred finds out, it will be the end of us. The end of King Arthur.

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