Page 23 of The White Knight

Galahad bobs his head vigorously in agreement. We ride in silence until making camp for the night. My heart feels full, knowing Galahad is comfortable around me and has accepted me as his father, as his dad. Though he still addresses me as Sir Lancelot in front of the others, it is a comfort to know I mean more to him. I am eager to get to know my son better and help him grow into the exceptional young man I know he will be.

“Galahad, it is time for your morning lesson,” Merlin announces as he approaches the head table in the great hall where we have been breaking our fast.

“We have only just arrived home last night. Let the boy rest for a day,” I say to Merlin. In the years I have been away, Merlin’s hair has turned completely white, but he looks exactly the same. Gray eyes that look like they have witnessed centuries. A tattoo hides beneath the shoulder-length beard that has also turned a grayish white. He is wearing a well-worn moss-green robe. I do not believe I have ever seen him wear anything else. The weathered skin of his hands tightly grasps his staff, a long gnarled piece of wood encasing a yellow orb on the top.

“I do not wish to delay our lessons any further. During our journey to Joyous Gard, Galahad has made exceptional progress in reading through the books I have assigned him. However, we must resume with more physical lessons.”

I had hoped to have the entire day with my son. Though we shared moments together on the journey to my home, we did not have many chances to speak openly. But we will have the rest of our lives for that. I turn to Galahad to ask him if he wishes to go with Merlin. Galahad takes a bite of crusty bread and nods. “Yeah, I am feeling a bit antsy, like something inside me needs to be released.”

“Go then. I will fetch you from the beach by mid-day.”

“Bye, dad.”

I smirk at my son as he sprints to catch up with Merlin, who has somehow already made it to the other side of the hall. They will go down to the beach, most likely, where Merlin has set up camp. Even during the winter months, he chooses to live innature. Outside the walls of Camelot, Merlin has a small hut he resides in. His main dwelling is a cave off the southwestern coast of Britain.

After nearly a decade of living off the land, I am glad to be under a roof again. Knowing if it rains, I can take shelter somewhere dry and warm. When the sun goes down, I have a comfortable bed to lay my head upon. A table full of food to fill my belly when I am hungry.

Finished with my morning meal, I am unsure what to occupy myself with. I have been gone from home for too long and do not recognize most of the faces in my own hall. Even so, I received a warm and loud welcome yesterday evening when I walked through the castle gates. Augwys, my steward, finishes his meal as I push my chair back and stand up. He is at my side before I can exit the hall. “My lord, if I may say so again, I am filled with joy at your return. I hope you are happy with the state of your castle.”

I walk us out into the courtyard, examining the refurbished stable and armory. “Queen Guinevere told me she has charged you with running my castle while she is away at Camelot. I am eternally grateful to have someone like you put so much care and attention into maintaining my home. Guin is an exceptional woman, but I can imagine taking on an entire castle was difficult for her when she has duties elsewhere. I thank you.”

“I am honored, my lord.” Augwys bows his head.

“Would you be so kind as to grant me a tour of my castle? Show me all you have done while I have been…away?”

“Of course, my lord. Where would you like to start?”

“I leave that up to you, Augie.” I call him by the nickname Guin adopted when she was my wife here. He would always grimace at the name, but he seems to have grown accustomed to it, presenting me with a smirk. Augwys shows me the expandedarmory, which is now attached to the stables. Similar to the layout in Camelot.

The training grounds are exactly as I remember, only filled with unfamiliar faces. Young men and boys, some who were learning to walk and feed themselves when I was here last. I walk among the new faces, offering them a warm, encouraging smile while stopping to talk to the men I remember from before. It is a tremendous relief to have such loyal men who have stayed here to protect the people of Joyous Gard in my absence.

Next is the small chapel. The outside has not changed much, but I can tell that they have replaced the roof. It was collapsing the last time I was home. I had plans to fix it but never got to it.

Then we make our way to my private apartments. Augwys opens the room meant for the Lady of the castle. Guin never used it since we shared my bedchambers. There was no need to have separate spaces when all we wanted to do was invade each other’s souls. I am curious why Augwys would bring me in here; the room looks unchanged. “Was this room used at all during Queen Guinevere’s stays?” I ask, keeping my voice steady.

“Our lady takes residence in your chambers, my lord. She never uses this room. Though I had the masons fix the hidden door on this wall.” Augie points to the wall between this room and mine. I walk over, looking for a door, but I do not see one. “Forgive me, my lord, but I had this done without the lady’s approval. I did not want her to know of its existence.”

I glare at Augwys, confusion burying the concern on my face. “Please explain, Augwys.”

Clearing his throat, Augwys explains the day Guin learned of my…death. “Arthur had come to Joyous Gard to break the news. My lady was so distraught that she locked herself in her room and refused comfort or food. I knew of this secret door, but it had not been used in decades. The door would not budge. Everyone was beside themself with worry, unable to find a wayto my lady. It was Arthur who finally knocked down the wooden door to the bedchamber. Afterward, I wanted to ensure a way inside my lady’s rooms if she ever tried to lock herself in again. Hence the secret. I do hope you can forgive me.”

I turn from Augwys, placing my forehead against the cold stone of the wall. Normally, I would never show such weakness in front of anyone, but I cannot stop the tears from sliding out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I watch as my tears splash against the wooden floors. “Show me,” I whisper. Then, with more courage in my throat, I speak again. “Show me how to open this door.”

“Of course, my lord.”

Chapter 15

Guinevere

These past six monthshave felt like a million years. Camelot feels strange without my son’s laughter. It feels cold without his warmth. I feel vulnerable with him so far away, knowing he has so much riding on his shoulders. The vessel of Excalibur. He carries so much power inside him. Wielding so many expectations. I know Lance will protect him with his life. Merlin and Gaheris are with Galahad too. And of course, Elnaril. Galahad is safe. He will be okay. More than okay. But fuck do I miss that little guy.

I find myself wandering aimlessly around the castle grounds much more often. Today I’ve taken my lute with me as I make my way to the gardens where I usually play. Elaine is there, as if waiting for me to appear. I haven’t been ignoring her, but I also haven’t spoken to her that much since…well since she sucked my husband’s cock. It’s difficult to look at her without getting angry. I don’t want her to become my enemy. It’s just hard to forget what she did.

Elaine looks up at me with hope in her eyes, desperate to talk to me. I don’t want to hear any of it. So I speak before she opensher mouth. “There’s nothing more you need to say to me, Elaine. I already forgive you.” I have. It’s only fair since I’ve forgiven Lance. “But I cannot forget. You broke my trust, and that is something you need to earn back.”

“I understand, your Highness.” Elaine bows her head in defeat. “Have you received word from Galahad?”

“Yes. He is doing well.”

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