Page 30 of The White Knight

“What should we do with the fourth pie, dad?” Galahad asks as we enter the solar.

“If Guin is properly hungry, she will eat the extra pie.”

“You are probably right. Mom turns into a black hole when she eats pizza.”

“Hmmm. Does that have another meaning? Black hole?”

“It’s something mom has said. A black hole is this thing that just keeps eating. Supposedly they exist up in the sky, in space, as she explained. It even eats light.”

“Your mother says the strangest things sometimes.”

“That she does. Has she told you a lot about the…future?”

“A bit, yes. I assume you know where your mother is from?”

“Yeah, I know she is from the year 2019. And she has this shiny, thin brick from her time that has images of her family and you in it. She would sometimes show me these pictures and tell me stories of the people she has loved and lost.”

I nod, remembering the object Guin calls a phone. She had only ever captured our likenesses with the phone and played me music. I wonder now if she has images of her Josh. It seems likely. Does she look at his face, dream of being with him again? I want to ask Galahad if he knows about Josh, and if Guin had toldhim any stories of her old…friend. As I open my mouth to ask my questions, Guin walks into the room.

“You better have left some pizza for me.” Guin glides over to the table where Galahad and I are sitting.

“We haven’t even started, mom. We were waiting for you.”

“Let’s dig in then. I’m starving.”

Chapter 19

Guinevere

For the first timein years, I feel like I am home. Sitting with Lance and Galahad, eating pizza, I nearly forget that I’m centuries away from the place I called home for most of my life. The only one missing is Arthur.

Arthur has become a constant in my life. He is always there. When I would come up here to Joyous Gard when I needed to get away from court and, in particular, Mordred, I missed him. Not in the same agonizing way I missed Lance. It’s just that Arthur is my husband, friend, lover, and right-hand man.

For eight years, he and Galahad were the only family I had. Now that I have Lancelot back in my life, I feel complete. The missing piece I thought was forever lost. The universe, destiny, or just chance has delivered him back to me, to us. I should ask myself why, but I don’t care. As long as he is here.

Seeing Galahad and Lance together gives me the greatest joy I’ve ever felt. They are so alike. Yet, Galahad has a certain kingly poise he learned from Arthur. He is the best of both his dads. Pride bursts in my chest at the thought, but there is a pocketof fear that always lingers. What does fate have in store for my Galahad?

Even with Mordred’s threats, I believed Arthur would keep us safe. I trusted that the people of our kingdom would protect us, no matter what. With Lance back, everything has changed. Our lives are filled with uncertainty. The court at Camelot has always been divided, but people couldn’t see the division. Now there is chaos and confusion.

Trying to keep everything together has torn my mind, body, and soul apart. Proving to the kingdom that I am loyal to my king, my husband. Keeping away from Lance this past year, knowing he was but a week’s ride north from me, was more agonizing than believing him dead.

And here he is, sitting before my eyes, eating pizza with our son. Tears fall silently against my cheeks, burning my cold flesh.

“Mama, are you okay?” Galahad reaches out to wipe away my tears as I would for him. “Why are you crying?”

Lance moves closer, engulfing my hands in his. His touch is pure love. I break down completely, sobbing like a baby, not able to communicate why I am so suddenly miserable. Or am I happy? It’s hard to tell which emotions I feel when they are so heightened. Zero to a hundred. I’ve always been this way. Josh would blame it on my red hair. It fuels the fires of my emotions.

Galahad and Lance jump out of their chairs, surrounding me in their warmth, in their love. While Lance lays my head into the crook of his neck, Galahad places his head on my chest, taking slow, calming breaths. It takes me a few more minutes to compose myself and breathe as calmly as Galahad.

When I find my calm, they keep their arms around me, patiently waiting for me to speak. “I’m okay,” I whisper into Lance’s chest. “I am, truly. I’m so happy to have both of you here with me. It feels a bit surreal, like a dream I’ve had over andover, taunting me. But you are really here, Lance. And we are sitting together like a little family. My heart is overwhelmed.”

My two guys squeeze me tightly, reaffirming their presence. Galahad pops up and gives me a soft kiss on the forehead. “We are here, mama. I know you are frightened of losing us. But we aren’t going anywhere. Even if we are not here by your side, we will always be in your heart. You can speak to us from there and we will hear you.”

“Are you sure you are an eight-year-old boy?” I ask accusingly. “Because you sound like a wise old man.”

Lancelot laughs as Galahad explains that he’ll be turning nine soon. “Your mother is right, Galahad. You have wisdom beyond your years and so much love inside your heart.”

I wrap my arms around my two guys, smothering them with my love. Love I thought I had lost. Love I thought I would never have again. That emptiness I had felt weeks ago is shrinking. Soon enough, it will be filled to the brim.

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