Page 4 of The White Knight

“Arthur knows the truth of it, and he alone will know. It is none of your business.”

“Lancelot didn’t marry you because he loved you?”

“Elaine. Lance and I loved each other with a passion that battles that of Achilles and Patroclus. If I had his remains, I would cremate them and store them in an urn where they would one day be mixed with my own ashes. Lance is my heart, my soul, the love I was destined to never have. You know nothing of what we had. You know nothing.”

I stood up, rushing to the bedpan I kept in this room because of my constant bouts of morning sickness. I vomited all my insides out within a minute, but felt like I still had more to expel. A hand took hold of my hair, helping me keep it out of the filthy pan.

“Why are you here, Elaine?” I didn’t understand what she wanted. I thought she was here to befriend me, to grieve with me. But her last comments pissed me the fuck off.

“I apologize, my lady. I am aware I do not know everything that has passed between you, Lancelot, and King Arthur. I also do not have the gift of premonition as you do—”

“I don’t have…” I stopped myself. Maybe I should let her believe I can predict the future. I sort of can. I took a deep breath, pushing myself against the stone wall. “Why are you here?”

“King Arthur is worried about you. He wants you to have a companion, someone to talk to.”

I laughed. “How considerate of him.” And I meant what I said. I knew Arthur cared for me. He cared for my unborn child. He loved Lancelot. He put me in his royal apartments to keep a close eye on me, but also to show the kingdom that I was his family.Perhaps he also wanted to show them that we are something more than kin, but I don’t believe he would ever manipulate me.

“Does Arthur know about the rumor?”

Elaine joined me against the wall. There was something so intimate in the way we sat next to one another as if we were old pals. “He is king. If he has not heard it himself, one of his advisors has told him.”

I nodded. In that moment, I understood what I needed to do. I needed to let that rumor become the truth.

Later that night, while Arthur and I dined in private, something we had done together every night since our return to Camelot, I told him my plan. “So Elaine informed me of a rumor spreading through the halls of Camelot.”

“Hmm. And which rumor is this?” Arthur asked. “There are too many to keep track of.”

“The one that we slept together. In our raw grief at the loss of a man we both loved, we fell into bed together. From that grief, I became pregnant.”

“I have heard this one and have been discussing with my advisors on how to handle it.” Arthur meant to continue, but I stopped him from speaking, putting a finger to his lips.

“Let them talk.”

Arthur looked up into my eyes, confusion folded along the lines of his forehead. I could tell he was still grieving the loss of our White Knight. The redness behind the dark blue of his eyes told me he hadn’t been sleeping well. His usually clean-cut blonde hair had grown out past his ears.

“Let this child be yours. I cannot marry you. At least not yet. But I can give you something that will appease the people. And give you a potential heir. You told me you cannot father your own children. Who else knows this?”

“No one. Only rumors.” Arthur smirked shyly.

“If Lancelot is still alive…I know I’m crazy to think he could be, but I can’t shake this feeling that has been coursing through me since seeing Vivienne. If Lancelot is alive, I can’t marry you, but I think he would want you to have this. To have our son. With an heir, you have a stronger claim to the legacy you seek.”

“What if you have a daughter? I will still be without an heir.”

“Why can a woman not inherit? It’s been done before and will happen again in the future. I was heiress to an earldom.” I grabbed Arthur’s hand as he thought of his response, but I kept going. “I know I have a son growing inside me.”

Arthur squeezes my hands with his. “You are certain?”

“Yes.”

At the time, I needed to give something to Arthur that would act as a peace offering to show him I was on his side. Maybe he thought I was lying to him. How could I know I was having a son? They don’t have any ultrasounds in the sixth century.

Giving Arthur my son was one of the toughest decisions of my life. But I have not regretted it for a second. Arthur has shown us nothing but kindness and love. He treats Galahad as if he truly is his own son. I am so grateful to him for being a father to my boy. That was my biggest fear. I didn’t want Galahad to grow up as I did, without a dad. Now he is growing up between two homes, seeing his father as often as we can. We will eventually make the permanent move to Camelot, but not yet.

Chapter 3

Lancelot

I stay in thevillage until the last of the huts are rebuilt, hoping my kindness will pay for a way home. After rescuing them from the ruthless rain that threatened to destroy their entire village, the folk no longer fear me. I am their savior. When I first walked into their lives, I was a god killer. Now I am a god. They worship the ground I walk on, offering me the best food that survived the storm, their strongest ale, and their prettiest women. I take the food and drink with thanks but decline their offering of women. For only one woman possesses the comfort I seek.

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