Page 68 of The White Knight

“Sometimes I forget that I’m pregnant now that I’m no longer nauseous. She is doing fine, I think. I can’t wait for you to feel her move. That won’t be for a few months. But you will lose your fucking mind.”

I can feel her smile against my collarbone as I press her closer to my body. “She?”

“Just a gut feeling.”

“Did you know Galahad was a boy before birthing him?”

“Yes. I don’t know how. I just knew. And then, well, I told you about the dream or vision I had right before his birth.”

“With Elnaril?”

Guin nods against my shoulder. “She told me of Galahad, who he’d be. Maybe she had been whispering it to me throughout my pregnancy. But she isn’t inside me now. It’s just our wee one. Yet I have that same feeling. I just know.” Guin pushes herself up so that her face is level with mine. “Do you want a daughter?”

I kiss Guin on her freckled nose. “It does not matter to me. As long as we are all together. As long as we are all safe. Now lie back down and go to sleep. We both need to rest.”

The steady breathing from Guin lulls me to sleep, where I wake up around a campfire. Guin plays the lute, one of her melancholy songs, as I place more wood onto the fire. The light of the fire shimmers in her copper hair. She looks younger in my dream, not that she looks old now, but there is a certain innocence in her eyes that has not been there since before Melwas took her. Looking around me, I notice we are in a shallow part of the woods along the road leading to Camelot.

This is not a dream. It is a memory. The night after Guin stumbled upon a unicorn. We had avoided each other for days, barely talking to one another. It was the loneliest I had ever felt. But it was necessary. I was trying to push her away. I needed to push every thought of her away. Then that damn unicorn. That beautiful, wonderful, miraculous unicorn. Something in me fell into place that day with Guin in my arms. She made me feel whole, like I had never felt before.

Listening to the memory of Guin singing makes my mind feel dizzy. I sit down on the cold, hard ground, as close to Guin as I dare. Now that I know English, I can understand her songs much better. But is this really a memory? How can I remember a song she sang to me so long ago?

“I don’t know you, but I want you,” she sings, her eyes fighting to stay focused on her fingers as they dart in my direction. The flush of her cheeks grows brighter with each gaze I capture with mine. How could I have ever thought she would want anyone else but me? She sang to me, telling me how she felt. Only I did not know what she was saying then. Perhaps she did not know either. “Falling slowly,” her voice wavers as if she might cry.

I want to go to her, wrap her in my arms and kiss her sweet mouth. But I let this memory play out as it is meant to. The moment when Guin and I fell quietly in love.

“Mama, dad, wake up!” Galahad shouts. I feel his hands gently shake my arms before he moves over to Guin. “They are coming. We need to go.”

I bolt up, pulled from a deep sleep and a dream I desperately want to return to. Back to my aching body. “Who is coming? What are you talking about?”

“Grandma Vivienne says that Mordred is coming. He is looking for us.”

“Fuck,” Guin groans. “Does he know we are here?”

Galahad shakes his head. “There are only two obvious places for him to look. Here. And Joyous Gard.”

Guin turns toward me. “Lance, you don’t think he’ll attack Avalon or—”

“He would not. I doubt he has an army large enough that could break through the defenses at our castle. And no army can break through the magic that protects Avalon. Our people will be safe. They will remain safe as long as we are not seen there. We need to leave.”

I look at Galahad, who stares back at me. Rarely do I see fear in my son’s eyes. The night we escaped Camelot, his eyes were riddled with fear. He did not wish to part from me then and does not want to do so now.

“We do this together,” I reassure him.

He nods back and helps me out of bed. “Do what together?” Guin asks, her voice holding back the panic that threatens tobreak out of her. I offer my hands to her. She takes them but does not put much weight on me as she slides out of bed.

“We are going on a trip,” I say after kissing her temple. “You will want to bring your satchel.”

“Here, mom.” Galahad hands her the old, worn leather bag still filled with mystical items from the future. “I’ve also packed us a bag with some food and a few skins of water and wine. Morgana and Mairenn helped me pack them. They are waiting by the lake with grandma.”

As I pull on my clothes, Guin remains still. I cannot even tell if she is breathing. “Guin, we must go now.”

“We can’t just leave them. What if Mordred attacks? What if—”

“What can we do? Galahad could possibly fight him and his small army, but we do not know how many men there are.”

“Twenty-nine. At least that is what grandma said.”

“She is sure?” I ask. Galahad nods back. “Could you take on that number?” His hesitation is all I need. “Then we go, now.”

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