Page 19 of The White Enchantress

Utter confusion on my face leads Vivienne to go on with her speech. “Morgana saw the whole thing. A bright white sphere oflight appeared in the lake. After breaching the surface, the light became so bright that Morgana and Rhiann had to shield their eyes. When they could bear to look again, they saw you floating above the water, surrounded by the white light, holding Excalibur high in the air.” She points to the sword on the table. It had reappeared there sometime after Morgana arrived in my room.

Vivienne continues her speech, desperate for me to believe who I am. “That sword chose you. It saved you, Guinevere. It must have a reason for doing so, and I do not think that reason was to destroy.”

“It didn’t choose me. I picked it up–”

“Excalibur is alive. If it did not believe you to be worthy, it would have left you to die.”

I let her words wash over me, wanting to believe every word out of Vivienne’s mouth, but I can’t. “Do you believe the past can be changed?”

“I believe in everything, Guinevere. One of those beliefs is that we forge our own path in life.”

Love was always something I wanted, but at the same time, something I’ve been afraid of for most of my life. I know what love feels like. I’ve felt it before in many different ways. What frightens me most is losing the feeling after it has consumed me. Maybe this is why none of the relationships I’ve been in have worked out, whymy closest attachment is a best friend and not a lover. Though recently, Josh had become both.

When I lost my mom, I could feel the pain of my love for her, seeking another soul to bring that part of me back to life. My love was dying, going into stasis, unable to survive my heart shattering into a million tiny particles.

If my dad hadn’t dropped everything to be with me for those first few weeks, I don’t think I would have been able to love again.

I remember how much my mom loved Ed. It comforted me that part of her heart was still beating in his. But it took a while to realize that she also still lived within me. Everything I was, everything I am, is because of her and the love she gave me. The love I held in my heart for my mom was still inside me. But it wasn’t until I met Josh that it blossomed back to life.

The love I began to feel for Josh was the same love I had for my mother. I knew Josh was one of my soul mates, a person I was meant to meet. He helped me come back to myself, the person I was when my mom was still alive.

Though life at Eden Manor was anything but the home I yearned for, Ed had made sure I felt comfortable there. Seeing how much I flourished at public school and the friends I had made helped him to see just how depressed I had become since moving to England.

Ed became a much more involved father, spending quality time with me away from Charlotte and Cecily. We would have afternoon tea together while watching Netflix. He’d take me to see musicals in the West End, making a whole weekend trip to London.

And he even came to see me in all the musicals I performed in through high school and university, for every performance. Ed would tell me that I reminded him so much of my mom. “You did not get your vocal talent from me. Vira would sing and I would swoon.” “Ew, dad,” I’d say.

I knew Cecily was jealous of my relationship with our father, but she never attempted to ask for more. She just wanted his attention, not his love. And love is what I had from Ed. It didn’t match the love I shared with my mom but it was the love I needed.

Happier with my life as the bastard daughter of the nineteenth Earl of Lancaster, I remained at Eden Manor after graduating high school and attended the University of Cumbria. I could have gone to any high-ranking university worldwide if I wanted to. My father would have gladly paid for the tuition. But I chose to stay at home. Josh joined me uni. He studied psychology while I worked on a degree in Outdoor Adventures and Environmental Studies. “Hippie courses,” as Josh calls them…called them.

I thought it would be good to have a better understanding of the environment so that I could use my knowledge to advocate for climate change initiatives. I didn’t want to be just an earl’s daughter, spoiled and worthless, having everything handed to me. I dreamed of joining or forming committees to ensure that the plans drawn out by the UK government were on schedule and to hold those in charge accountable. I wanted to use my rank to make a change, to make the future a better place to live in.

Now stuck in the past, I will never know what kind of future awaits the people I love in the twenty-first century. My life is in Arthurian England. A place lost in time. One which I destroyed because I fell in love with the wrong man. Or will destroy. It hasn’t happened yet.

Chapter 9

Guinevere

After confessing what Iknow about King Arthur, I find myself wandering around Avalon, feeling like a ghost drifting away from my body. I come across a building I haven’t noticed before. It looks like an old temple, ancient even for this time. Strong, gigantic sculpted rocks hold up a dilapidated roof. It’s open on all sides but only has one set of stairs facing west. The setting sun washes the facade in golden light. I can feel Excalibur humming at my side as if it knows this place, misses it even.

“Is this where you were forged?” I ask the sword, looking down to where I had fastened it with a makeshift holster. It pulses with a white light surrounding me in warmth.

“Yes.” She doesn’t say this word exactly, but I know that is what she said, if that makes any sense.

I look back to the temple and notice a string instrument of some kind leaning against the stone stairs.Maybe a lute?It looks a little worn but otherwise in good shape. Someone must have left itbehind earlier today after practicing for the festivities tomorrow evening.

I pick it up, intending to bring it back to the dining hall. Instead, I sit down, loving how the lute feels in my hands. I haven’t played music in weeks.

Luckily my bag survived the journey through the mist and lake. And since my first year at university, I’ve always made sure to carry a portable solar-powered charger with me. This allows me to keep my phone charged, not for making phone calls or sending texts, obviously. With my phone charged up, I can listen to the music I downloaded on Spotify back in the twenty-first century.

Still, I miss making music. As my fingers brush the strings of the lute. I can feel Excalibur’s warmth at my side, a sort of energy that vibrates through to my fingers. I begin to play “Million Years Ago” by Adele as best I can remember.

As I play, I can’t help but think of Josh and the first day I met him. I was a total wreck, living in one of the circles of Hell for the last few months. I had received no warm welcome from my stepmom, Lady Charlotte Musgrave, nor from Cecily when I moved into Eden Manor as a permanent resident.

After another day of being tortured by a gang of teenage girls at school by order of Queen Cecily, I asked Leo to stop at Upperby Park. I needed a break from my evil half-sister. And a moment to breathe outside the confines of Eden Manor. Cecily had made it her life’s work to make mine miserable with every breath I took, at home, at school, at social events. Everywhere.

At school, her posse of followers did her every bidding. They made it impossible for me to make friends of my own. Everyone saw me as the American bastard child of an English earl, unworthy of their attention.

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