Page 50 of The White Enchantress

“Morgana, please. I am not a visitor. Not to you, to Avalon, nor to Guinevere, as you very well know.”

“I do not think it a good idea. Lancelot, she has been through so much since leaving Avalon, since before arriving here. There are things you do not know about her. She needs time to heal and to contemplate.”

“I know about her past. What is it that she needs to contemplate? Has she spoken to you about me?”

“What happened between the two of you? The last I saw of Guinevere, she was determined not to let herself get close to you. But now, it is as if you both cannot bear to be parted from each other.”

I remain silent, uncertain of what Morgana knows about us, hoping she will bring me to Guinevere. Morgana resumes gathering herbs from the garden, attempting to ignore my presence. This was a game I always won when we were children. I continue standing, casting a shadow over her, blocking the late afternoon sun. But she remains unbothered. “I know where her room is. I could walk myself there. Though I would rather not barge in.”

“Why do youneedto see her?”

“I need to ensure she is healthy, that her wounds are healing.”

“Some wounds never heal, Lancelot. Though I believe all of hers are healing exceptionally fast. I know what Melwas did to her and what you two did afterward. That was careless. What if one of the men you were with walked in on you? King Arthur will not take her after being raped and plowed by two other men, one of them his own knight.”

“You as well? Why does everyone believe that Arthur wants Guinevere? Do you also know that he has given me his blessing to court Guinevere?”

“He did?” Morgana contemplates. “Even if she is not able to give him Excalibur?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you did more than court her. Your mother is not happy with you about it.”

“Hmpf. I only care about Guinevere’s happiness at the moment.”

“That is what I was afraid of. She came to us for a reason, Lancelot. She was chosen by Excalibur for a reason. What gives you the right to take her from that purpose?”

“How do you know what that purpose is? Excalibur burst out of Guinevere, ripping Melwas and his men to shreds for attempting to take her unwillingly. Melwas’ prick was burnt to a crisp. Mine is doing just fine. I did not do anything Guinevere did not ask for. I would appreciate it if everyone would cease accusing me of taking advantage of the woman I love. Whom I would never harm.”

Morgana’s hands freeze in place as she reaches for a bunch of herbs. “You are right, Lancelot. My mind has been clouded with worry for Guinevere. There are still things you do not know about her. Things we cannot begin to comprehend. She will likely confide in you as I know she loves you too. Keep an open mind. Everything is possible. Even changing the future.”

I have no idea what Morgana means by that last statement. But I am glad to have my friend back. Morgana drops the herbs she has been gathering into a basket. Standing up, she motions for me to follow her. I fall in step with her, feeling a jolt of excitement in the pit of my stomach.

Marriage is something I never thought of. But with Guinevere in my life, it only makes sense. Arthur would understand my haste in marrying her. Knowing what we are to each other.

As we walk up the stairs to the sleeping chambers, the thought crosses my mind that perhaps Guinevere does not want to marry me. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me. Is love enough for her as it is for me? I will accept whichever answer she gives me. Still, I beg the gods, God, Jesus, whomever is listening for a “yes.”

Morgana stops at Guinevere’s door, turning around to face me. “Let me go in first. Ask if she wants to receive you.”

I nod impatiently, then collapse against the wall. Never in my life have I been such a wreck of a man. Guinevere has turned my insides out, consumed my mind, my thoughts, my dreams. If she says “no,” who would I be? For I know I will never be the same man I was, with or without her as my wife. I can hear her voice through the walls, though I cannot understand what she is saying. She sounds healthy, much stronger than she was only this morning.

Morgana appears at the door. “You can go in.”

As she steps aside, I walk into the room. My eyes immediately land on Guinevere’s green gaze. She is sitting up in bed, the covers over her waist. Her hair falls dark and wet against her shoulders.The skin on her face is still ghostly pale, though more color has seeped its way through since this morning.

Morgana is still standing at the door. I give her a nod, letting her know I want to be alone with Guinevere. Instead of leaving, she looks to Guinevere, who nods her consent, sending Morgana on her way.

Before the door firmly closes, I run to her bed, sitting myself down on the edge and scoop her hands in mine. “How do you feel?”

“So much better. Still a little woozy. But the fever is gone. I can see straight, so that’s an improvement.” Guinevere offers me a smile. “Morgana said you were desperate to see me. I’m sorry if I frightened you. I must have looked like death.”

“You cannot fathom how happy I am to see you doing well. You had given me a fright, all of us. The thought of losing you…let us not even think on it.”

I reach out my hand, caressing her cheek lightly. She falls into my embrace, closing her eyes. “Guinevere, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? I know we have not properly courted, and I am not asking you out of pity or to protect your virtue. Though I have not told you this yet, I believe you already know. I love you, Guinevere. With every breath I take, you are what gives me life. Please tell me you feel the same. If you do not, I will walk away and never bother you again.”

“Lance,” she sighs, taking my hands in hers. “I need to tell you something. Before I do…I love you. I love you with the samepassion and need that you love me. I felt every bit of your love that night. And I gave you my heart and soul. But before I give you my hand in marriage, I must tell you the truth about myself.”

My heart is in knots. Guinevere loves me. Though I am uncertain if she will agree to be my wife, I hold onto her hands tightly, encouraging her to go on. She speaks of Josh. How she lost him. How she had been lost to him, falling through…time. Though I remain silent, listening to every word, I cannot comprehend everything she says. Whispers brought her to the location of Excalibur. She had been 1500 years in the future. And she did not fall into the lake. It appeared all around her in the blink of an eye.

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