Page 39 of Once Upon an Apocalypse

I roll my eyes at the memory of her going at me like I murdered her cat and sigh when I remember that I’ll have to see her later today because we live together.

“Does that hurt, Laurel?” Norman asks as he continues to press the ultrasound wand along my belly.

“Oh, no. I was just thinking.” My eyes remain glued to the ceiling, not wanting to look at Norman’s focused gaze. He’s only being kind to me because my mom is there and she would deck him in the face if he hurt me.

“Would you like to know what I found, Laurel?”

No. Yes. I don’t know.The internal voice in my head says. On the surface, I simply nod my head.

Norman takes a deep breath before explaining, “The ultrasound detected some scarring in your uterus. A curious find considering your healing ability.”

That is curious. Looking at me, no one could tell that my limbs and skin had been ripped from my body less than a year ago. But Doctore made sure to always put me back together again. For the most part.

“Can you tell what the scarring is from?” I ask hesitantly.

“It doesn’t look too aggressive, perhaps a minor case of endometriosis. But I’d need to do further testing before I could answer that question. Testing that would be rather…invasive.”

I shiver at the word invasive, pulling my knees up to my chest in an act to protect myself. Then a question pops up in my brain and before I can stop myself, I ask, “Could I get pregnant?”

My mom’s head jerks up and she narrows her eyes at me as if attempting to steal into my brain.

“I wouldn’t say it’s impossible, but that scarring could make it difficult.”

My head won’t stop nodding at Norman’s response. I didn’t even realize that he had left the room as I fold into myself. My mom brings me out of my stupor with her own question. “Are you concerned about becoming pregnant?”

I laugh at her question. “No. It’s not like anyone would be interested in me knowing what I am.”

“And what are you, Lori?”

“A freak. A lab rat. A mutation.”

“You might be all of those things, but you are so much more. You are a survivor. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are caring. You are goddamn inspiring.”

Before I can disagree, my mom folds me into her arms, squeezing me with all her strength. Now that I have built up my muscles, I only give her a small squeeze back, not wanting to harm her in case I have super soldier strength. Even though I don’t, I’m still afraid that I’ll hurt someone if I’m not careful.

“But back to your question,” my mom continues as she pulls out of our embrace. “We have a supply of IUDs which I know how to…install. Would you like one?”

I don’t hesitate to answer because I never want to get pregnant. Not with the world the way it is now. Even though I have no plans on ever having sex again, having a Plan B is always smart. “Yes.”

“Let’s get you one then, sweetie. And just so you know, if you change your mind, it’s very easy to remove. Okay?”

I nod in understanding, letting her take my hand and guide me to another examination room where I’m assuming the contraceptive merchandise is stored.

By the time I get back to my dorm in the late afternoon, I’m so exhausted I drop onto my bed. I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up, it’s pitch black outside. It feels like no time has passed, which means I didn’t have any dreams. Good. I hate when I dream because it’s never about unicorns and rainbows or endless pizza buffets.

Right on cue, my stomach grumbles, telling me I’ve missed out on dinner. Hoping that it’s not too late to grab a bite, I roll out of bed and shuffle over to the door. With my hand on the knob, I give it a jerk to the right, but it doesn’t budge. In my exhaustion, I hadn’t locked my door, so it should have opened. Maybe it’s stuck? Though that makes little sense. I try the lock again, but it isn’t bolted.What the fuck!I grab hold of the knob and twist as hard as I can, wishing I had that superhuman strength to bust open this goddamn door.

I push. I kick. I slam my whole body into it and still can’t get it to open.

Someone locked me in. That’s the only explanation. They imprisoned me here when Amos promised me that would never happen again. After shouting and banging on the door for what feels like hours, my breathing turns shallow and my vision goes black. I am falling. Falling into darkness. And as hard as I’ve fought against the darkness of my mind for years, I can no longer hold it back.

Then I hear banging. But the sound is muffled. I can’t see anything around me, making it difficult to figure out where the sound comes from. My breaths drag heavily against an unseen force, as if I’m underwater and trying to swim to the surface. But the water doesn’t break. Fear consumes me again, bringing me back into its dark abyss.

My ears strain to hold on to the sounds of shouting from far away. A last attempt to ground myself. When I hear a familiar voice, my body relaxes enough for me to pull myself out of the void inside me. Warmth. The fast, steady beating of a heart. Comfort. That is the first thing I feel when my mind steadies itself. After a few shaky breaths, I can see again.

Amos has his arms wrapped around me as he holds me tight against his chest. I’m curled up in his lap in the goddamn closet.How the hell did I get here? What happened?

I must have said that last thought out loud because Amos responds with, “I have been asking you that for the last thirty minutes, Lori. You scared the shit out of me. I’ve never seen someone stuck in what looked like shell shock for so long.”

---