Page 40 of Once Upon an Apocalypse

He pulls me in tighter, as if afraid he’ll lose me. If I had been stuck inside my mind for much longer, I might not have been able to pull myself out. I wrap my arms around Amos’ neck, letting him hold me tighter. This is a place I could spend eternity in. Amos’ arms. It doesn’t feel real. This comfort. This safe place. This…love.

“Am I dreaming?” I whisper against his neck, causing his skin to perform a wave in goosebumps.

“No, Copperhead. You are very much awake,” he says into my hair. The intimacy of our two bodies pressed together and our mouths touching such sensitive places makes my body shiver. Assuming the shiver is from being cold, Amos shimmies us out of the closet and places me on the bed, tucking me in under a warm blanket. “How’s that?”

I mumble an affirmation even though I’m now much colder without the heat of his body under mine. Before he turns to go, Amos gently caresses my cheek with a calloused hand. Our eyes lock for a moment. A moment that feels like infinity. He quickly turns away from me as if afraid of the infinite possibilities a look like that can grant. With his back to me, I turn my head to the window to see it’s still dark outside.

I grimace in pain, my stomach groaning in hunger. How long was I locked in here? How did I get locked in here? I open my mouth to ask Amos, but he’s talking to someone else from the doorway of my room.

His voice is low, but menacing. I would hate to be on the receiving end of that voice. Sitting up, I attempt to listen to the conversation he’s having. But I don’t have to try too hard.

Katie screams at Amos. “You have no right to do that! I have done my duty. Every single day. You cannot take me out of patrol duty.”

“I just did. You will also be moving rooms.”

Katie makes a loud tantrum-like huff before saying, “Why should I move? I was here first.”

Ignoring Katie, Amos calls out for Kyle, who I’m guessing is in the living room. “Help Katie move what little belongings she has into my room and bring my stuff here.”

My heart hammered in my chest for a second, thinking that Amos meant for Katie to move in with him. But he’s going to swap rooms with her. Why? As if sensing my question, Amos turns to look at me, offering a subtle smile. But he doesn’t offer to explain what the hell is going on. While his body is half turned in the doorway, I notice the crowd of people in the living room.

Cal and Mina are in their usual spots on the couch. Anna is leaning against the backside of it. Katie is pacing back and forth as if attempting to burn a hole in the floor. When Kyle walks back in with what I’m assuming is Amos’ stuff, I notice my mom. Our eyes meet and I can see the desperation there.

“Mom?” I say, unable to keep the shakiness out of my voice.

She quickly turns to Amos as if pleading with him. A slight nod from him supposedly gives my mom permission to cross the barricade of his body. Amos takes a step back for my mom to enter. Once she is all the way inside my room, Amos resumes his stance like a secret service agent guarding the president.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” my mom asks as she scoops me in for a hug. I have no time to respond as she says, “I was so worried about you.”

“What happened?”

My mom sits back against the bed and looks at me as if she is debating on how to respond. She sighs before saying, “Katie locked you in your room.”

“What?! Why? How? The lock is on the inside.”

Another sigh, this one with a bit of anger attached to it. “I don’t know how she did it. A chair and some rope were involved. As to the why, I have less of an answer.”

I probably have the answer, but could jealousy really drive her to do this to me? Did she know how I would react? She tried hard to break me on the sparring mat today, but didn’t succeed. I’ll have to give her this one because she broke me mentally. If Amos wasn’t here to pull me out, I’m not sure I would be here, at least with my mind intact. I really thought that I was a prisoner again. This time, I’m not sure where my mind went.

At the bunker, I could always disassociate myself from my surroundings. It was the only way I was able to get up every day and keep moving. But what happened tonight? It’s like my mind couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to go back to that way of existing. Taking a strangled breath, I reach out to my mom. She holds me against her as she lays me down on the bed, wrapping me tight in her maternal embrace. It’s exactly the medicine I need.

Chapter 27

AftertheincidentwithKatie, I rarely see her. Amos had her moved to a different dorm building a few days later. I thought he’d move back into his original room after that, but six months later, he’s still taking up residence in the room next to mine. At first, I was a little embarrassed, thinking everyone would see me as weak. That I needed a bodyguard.

Amos barely spends time in my dorm though, as if he is trying to give me some space and freedom. But every night, Amos returns, takes a shower, then heads to bed. I still haven’t quite gotten used to the sight of Amos in nothing but a towel. Every time he comes out of the bathroom, Cal has to nudge me in the side to keep me from drooling all over myself.

Holy hell, is Amos a gorgeous god of a man. The first time my eyes witnessed the chiseled flesh of his abdomen, I could not stop staring at the lines of his muscle, imagining where they lead to. I’ve gotten better at hiding my shame, especially after he caught me ogling at him. When he winked at me, I was mortified. The humiliation runs deeper than that when I touch myself at night, thinking of his glistening pecs.

If he ever found out how many times I’ve come undone just imagining his strong fingers on my body, I would never be able to face him again. Somehow, I am able to keep a straight composure with Amos at the gym, when we eat together, and when we take long walks around The Valley. He’s like a different person in those moments. My personal trainer, my companion, my friend.

We’ve learned a lot about each other and a bit about our pasts from the before. I can tell it still hurts him to talk about his mom, but there’s a layer of pride and love in his voice. Amos’ mom, Charvi, immigrated to America as a teenager. She came here from India all by herself, wanting to study medicine. While on the path to become a doctor, she fell in love with his dad, an Irish-American car mechanic.

When Amos told me about how his father had ginger hair, a darker shade than mine, I couldn’t help but think of the ginger children we could have together. I try so hard to erase these thoughts from my mind, reminding myself that Amos is my friend.

But at night, when he emerges from the bathroom after his showers, he becomes all my wet dreams. I’m like a teenage girl salivating in front of a Timothée Chalamet poster. Except Amos is not a poster. He is a real-life male with golden eyes that can pierce souls, powerful hands that can crush enemies, and a body that…

“Lori, what are you thinking about?” Amos asks as he approaches, startling me from my daydreaming as I walk down the long hallway in the sports center.

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