Amos’ hand slips away from my thigh, leaving it cold and lonely. He’s silent for so long I start to think he doesn’t want to play the get-to-know-each-other-better game.

As I turn my head back to the window, he says, “The first time I went out to scavenge, I was looking for medicine for my mom. She was not doing well. I was desperate to find something, anything, that would ease her pain. I had already given up on saving her. I drove to one of the nearby hospitals, a small one that wasn’t swarming with biters. We didn’t have much at The Valley then. Our weapons supply was non-existent. I went into that building with nothing. I was fucking terrified. But my will to help my mom was stronger than my fear.”

“I don’t know if I could have gone into a building possibly infested with zombies all alone. I’d have pissed myself.”

“Nah, you’da done it. You would have been braver than me.” Amos pauses before continuing. “Ididrun into biters. The freshies, as you call them. Fortunately, they didn’t see me because they were busy feasting on a group of survivors.”

Amos’ voice breaks as he holds back the pain of reliving such a horrible memory. “They were still alive, screaming for someone to help them, and I ran in the other direction like a coward.”

“Amos, there’s nothing you could have done.” And there’s nothing I can say to convince him otherwise, but I try anyway. “One bite is all they need to turn you. One bite and you’re dead. Well, unless you’re me. But, Amos, they were already dead. If you had tried to end their suffering, you would have died.”

“I know. But I’m still ashamed that I ran away. That I couldn’t even comfort them in their death.”

I think about the orphans at the bunker, the ones I would sneak food to. The ones Doctore had turned into flesh-eating monsters to rip me apart in the arena. “This world is cruel. I used to believe the only way to survive it was to accept its cruelty and find a way around it. But I was wrong. There’s a better way to survive.”

Amos’ eyes meet mine as he takes his eyes off the road for a second. “And what is that better way?”

“You. And the others at The Valley are the better way. Surviving together. Fighting together. Helping those in need. If we want to save humanity, we have to save what’s left of it in ourselves first. It’s not just about surviving, it’s about living. You did the right thing when you chose to live because you are making a difference now. You are saving lives now. You saved me.”

A single tear falls from Amos’ eyes and he doesn’t try to hide it. He reaches out for me and I grasp his hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. When I drop our hands on my lap, Amos lets out a deep breath, then clears his throat.

“Can you tell me about Jonah?” Amos asks, keeping his gaze fixed on the road ahead.

The question catches me off guard, but I answer with, “That’s a bit of a layered question. What exactly do you want to know?”

“Do you still love him?” Amos’ voice cracks a bit, as if he’s terrified of my answer. “Because if you do, if you aren’t ready to move on yet, I understand. I’ll keep waiting. For as long as it takes.”

My heart clenches. We haven’t really talked about us. About that kiss. About what that kiss means. “No,” I answer, squeezing Amos’ hand as I keep it in my lap. “I once thought he was my end game and maybe if this world didn’t turn him into a mindless, heartless soldier, I would still hold on to that love. It’s not there anymore.”

Amos breathes a sigh of relief. “Kissing you…I’ve thought of little else since that day. If I’m completely honest, I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I brought you to The Valley. I can’t explain this need. But I need you, Lori. I will take anything you are ready for. And if that’s just friendship, you have it. I’m yours.”

“Your friendship means more to me than you’ll ever know, Amos,” I say as my heart races inside my chest. “Without you, I would still be broken. You’ve mended my heart, my courage, everything that I couldn’t mend myself.”

“So you just want to be friends then?” Amos says in defeat, refusing to look at me.

“Shut up and listen, Amos, because that’s not what I’m saying.Ikissedyou. Do you not remember my own need that day? I need you too. I just wish I had gotten the courage to show you months ago. I want your friendship, but I also want more of you. I’m yours,” I say, using his own words to make my point.

Amos answers with a smile that makes me catch my breath. Then he lifts my hand to his mouth, kissing the sensitive skin in the middle of my wrist. I feel that kiss all over my body as it settles between my thighs. Amos smiles again, this one full of mischief, as if he knows just how much that not-so-innocent kiss has affected me.

We fall into a comfortable silence, his hand clasped in mine, our bodies humming. I find myself daydreaming about when I’ll have this man to myself back at The Valley. All the things I want to do to him.

The images I conjure are interrupted as I spot an overturned car on the road. Smoke fuming from under the hood.

Amos slows down as we approach the accident. It must have happened recently, an hour ago maybe. Ensuring the doors are locked, Amos drives slowly around the vehicle, attempting to examine the scene from the safety of our car.

“I know this car. It’s one from The Manor House community I told you about. We might be too late in warning them.”

Chapter 34

Dreadtricklesdownmyspine as I scan the wooded area for any movement. Zombies. The Praetorian Guard. Jonah. Doctore. Anyone or thing that could pose a threat to me and Amos. That dread turns to ice, locking me in place when I think of Amos. He isn’t like me. If he gets hurt or bitten…NO. I’m not going down that think trap.

Nothing seems suspicious or out of place besides the overturned vehicle on the side of the road. Amos brings our car around, sliding the shifter into park and cutting the engine. We sit in absolute silence, waiting for something to happen. Every few seconds, I check the rear-view and side mirrors. Nothing.

After ten minutes of keeping our eyes peeled for the slightest bit of movement, Amos says, “I need to see if there are any survivors.”

“What? Amos, that is a terrible idea. We don’t have the weapons to protect us if we get surrounded by freshies.”

Amos shakes his head, keeping his gaze on the woods to our left. Thinking he wasn’t paying attention, I open my mouth to repeat myself, but Amos interrupts. “Don’t worry, Copperhead. We have weapons.”